A Balanced Approach to Wellness!

Posts tagged ‘people connection’

When we set our alarm clock…

Post 69-People

“Certainty. We all want certainty. And sometimes we get it. When we prepare for things, we often get the desired outcome. When we measure and work in an exacting manner, our cakes taste right, they look beautiful, they make the eaters happy. When we wash our hands, they are clean. When we allow enough time, we (usually) arrive at our destination on time. When we set our alarm clock, we wake up on time—usually. When we build buildings with strong foundations, they keep us secure—except in times of war or destructive natural disasters.

-from the chapter “Certainty Relatively” in The Gift of Intuitive, Dedicated Comfort

When we set our alarm clock, the chance of waking up at the time we chose is somewhat guaranteed. When we plan our day, the chance of getting our chores/job/errands/extras done has increased. When we think about the family members we should reach out to, we sometimes reach out. When we remember that we should call a loved one, we occasionally call. When we consider the importance of connecting with a sibling or other close relative, we know it’s important, but we might or might not make the time for the connection. And so it goes.

Life is busy and if we don’t plan ahead, important things can get forgotten.


Blog 66-CompassionSome people say that people are not compassionate by nature. That is not true. People are compassionate; compassion is part of the design. Women and men, in varying degrees depending on their hormonal make-up, are compassionate.

Compassion can be displayed in the ways in which people interact with one another, with animals, with inanimate objects (such as knick knacks and clothing), and with gems. In general, compassion should be shown towards living and breathing creatures; the compassion towards the nonliving items is compassion misplaced.

When a person confuses the recipient of compassion—the nonliving item in place of the living creature—something has occurred in that person’s life that upset the natural order for compassion. People are meant to feel compassion for other people, and not feeling compassion is the incorrect response. No! Compassion is kindness presented internally which stimulates warm and caring feelings for the people, animals, and nature in one’s surroundings.

To truly feel compassion for another person, one simply has to live the design.

I want my way!

Post 52-my wayI want things my way. My way is best. My way or the highway. My way, not any other way.

Do you know people like that? Controlling types who must have things just the way they like them or a tantrum starts. I’m not talking about young children who naturally tantrum because they are learning the rules of socialization. I’m talking about adults who should have learned to compromise. People who tantrum (yes, it’s a verb here) when they cannot have things the way they want are in need of three things: a turn of focus towards others in serious need, physical expressions of caring (hugs, kisses, and smiles), and training in the art of listening.

You might say that this is easy for me to say, but how do you get the controlpeople  (yes, it’s one word) to do these things?

  1. You can forward this article to them (but they might start tantrumming).
  2. You can release them from your life if they are not family members.
  3. If they are family members who do not really need your company, you can limit your time with them.
  4. You can breathe in this rhythm when he or she starts to tantrum: breathe in to a count of 5, breathe out to a count of 4—until the person requires a response. The breathing and counting should help you lessen the tantrum’s effect on your body and will help you tune out the unpleasant words. When you respond, consider your own needs and say what they are. If the person start’s to tantrum again, try to sing a favorite song in your head until a response is required. Again, say what your needs are; however, before you do, think about how this person is in need of physical expressions of caring and try to feel compassion. Try to respond in a way that is less harmful to yourself; in other words, if the tantrum hurts you, say things that will not induce another tantrum, but without completely giving in. Not easy, but effective.

Controlpeople cannot be controlled, but their effects can be limited when we know our options.

Conflict among unacquainted dwellers

Post 47-conflict

conflict, n. competitive action of incompatible people

among, prep. in.

unacquainted , adj. unfamiliar.

dwellers, n. inhabitants.

Conflict among unacquainted dwellers is the source of most discord in the world. The key word is unacquainted because when an acquaintance is made there is usually less conflict. Especially when the dwellers live in close surroundings. Neighbors not knowing their neighbors can lead to a sense of separateness and uncaring. Cousins who are not in contact with one another because of familial disagreements have a diminished sense of belonging. Siblings who lose connection because of distance or disinterest have a lessened sense of completion. City A residents have little care for City B residents. and so it goes…

conflict, n. competitive action between characters in a work of fiction that drives the action of the plot.

among, prep. by the joint action of.

unacquainted , adj. not knowledgeable.

dwellers, n. those who exist in a given setting.

Conflict among unacquainted dwellers. In a novel, conflict brings interest and  momentum and plot. The characters are dwellers in a realm that is unknown to them except as the author sees fit to join them. The characters do not really choose their actions, the author does. The characters do not really inhabit a location; they simply float in the chosen locale.

The key difference between living people and created characters is the ability to choose actions, reactions, and position (not a location, but a point of view). Choosing to stay unfamiliar with others, choosing to distance from because it’s too hard to make an effort, choosing not to contact or assist or be truthful with. The choice is the main component in conflict—choosing to see the other as unworthy or unbearable or unsatisfactory. Choice is the wonderful thing about being human and our failing.  Because choosing to be kind, caring, and supportive should be the right choices all the time.

Among dwellers who have no unacquainted fellow inhabitants, there is little conflict. Obviously no single person can know every other person. The goal is to approach each person as a potential self. People are so different and yet so similar. Very hard to see this connectedness because of societal differences, but it is there nonetheless. The choice is to be open and not discount. Each person has a soul that should be cherished. Each person has a need for survival and nurturing. All the same, not so different.

Gathering in times of…

Post 12 Screen beans mom and kids

Soon, I will be attending several family gatherings. In honor of these special occasions, here is an essay—well, part of an essay—from book #2:

“A wedding. A funeral. A baby naming. Coming of age ceremonies. Important anniversaries. Unimportant occasions. Unimportant? All occasions that bring people together are important. Gathering together forges ties and friendships, support and community. Whether the occasion is happy or sad or tension filled or relaxed, gathering together leads to emotional release, emotional awareness, or emotional expression, even if the emotions are repressed or explosive. The importance of gathering in small groups or in larger arrangements is often overlooked.

People are meant to gather. People are meant to intertwine. People are meant to do for one another, support one another, receive from one another. People have the ability to enrich and entertain and inform one another. Gathering and intertwining, supporting and participating, empathizing and sympathizing are natural aspects of humankind. People who shun human contact, gatherings, or other human interactions have been damaged; they are not the natural beings they were born to be. Their natural inclinations should be to join in, not opt out. Ill treatment by others usually causes these deviations. Some see self-sufficiency and the creation of imaginary barriers to keep people out as positive things. They are wrong. People are meant to connect.

Attending an event is not enough. Being there physically is not enough. Mouthing nice words without meaning them is not enough. Criticism is best left at home. Envy, too. But, heartfelt joy can stay! As can supportive thoughts! And feelings of comfort or pride or respect—depending on the occasion and the circumstances. Focusing on the people, whether we are tired or busy or have attended “too many” events. Enjoying each one for its own merits, its own purpose, its own celebration.”

Connections are the means–Connection to people, post 2 of 7

(The information in this post is from The Gift of Intuitive, Dedicated Comfort.)

Connection to other people supports and entertains. This connection enables people to consider the needs of others, to nurture and allow to be nurtured, and to understand oneself.

Nurturing oneself and others is vital to balanced and purposeful living. People were never meant to live alone. The idea that life is elevated by depending on no other person is incorrect. People are meant to depend on one another. They are designed to work in groups: to build together, to create communities, to help one another in times of difficulty, to find common purpose, and to help those entering and exiting life.

Post 12 Screen beans mom and kids


  • Assist others in overcoming their personal difficulties
  • Create warm and lasting relationships with family members
  • Create warm and lasting relationships with chosen friends
  • Guide the future generations in the correct ways of living

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