With so many marriages ending in divorce and so many others filled with frustration and anger, I decided to ask God about marriage. (Also, my daughter recently married so I have marriage on my mind 🙂 ) Here is the answer I received:
People are meant to pair. The pairing is necessary for support in an uncertain world and for a viable environment for children. Children are more secure in a paired family.
Choosing the person who will be suitable for navigating an uncertain world requires knowing oneself. The partner should be someone who looks at life with similar hopes. Less important are skin color, religious affiliation, and sex appeal; however, devoutly religious people pair better with others who are similarly devout.
The choice of partner requires evaluation of one’s own hopes for the future and the hopes of potential partners. Physical appearance and compatible personalities narrow the choices. The partner who is chosen must make the same evaluations.
Marriage and committed devotion are equally valid in creating pairings. Marriage makes the pairings socially and legally recognized. Committed devotion is different, depending on societal expectations.
When hopes for the future are compatible, the couples can weather crises better. When hopes for the future have no common ground, crises—no matter the size—become obstacles to relationship investment. Each person must be invested in the relationship for it to flourish.
Throughout the togetherness, there will be misunderstandings, kindnesses, celebrations, sadness, expectations missed, expectations met, differences, and comfort. Those who focus on the negative aspects will be unhappy. Those who focus on the positive aspects will be secure.
Pairings that are not based on common hopes occur frequently because of societal pressures and misunderstanding about oneself. These pairings are less compatible, yet they deserve the same efforts to keep them flourishing. Common hopes can be developed over time.
No matter the reasons for pairing, each partner is active in the success or chaos that exists between the partners. Pairings that are forced are difficult to endure. Pairings that are untrue (such as homosexuals marrying heterosexuals or unions based on lies), are debilitating. Pairings are best when there is honesty in the relationships.