A Balanced Approach to Wellness!

Archive for the ‘Focused living’ Category

The Ten Commandments oxygenated

ten commandments

Oxygen gives us life that fits our bodies and our mental well-being. So too, the Ten Commandments! They are a source of many minor reactions and many major changes–both oxygen and the commandments. In their own ways they bring order, connection, and creation.

The Ten Commandments have pertinence today, although their focus has been seen by some to be irrelevant. Their messages are straightforward and yet, they have been held at bay by people who choose to enable contrary actions.

Here is a commandment to consider when facing your daily dilemmas:
  • Give your time to sensitivity: Sensitivity towards family, neighbors, and outsiders. Sensitivity to the needs of the animals that feed you. Sensitivity to the Earth’s treasures. Sensitivity to the ebbs and flows of all life.

Spirit shares this commandment, because sensitivity is missing in too many interactions and decisions. Sensitivity brings positive results and less illness.

Bringing change using Exemplary Life contracts

Cover-Contracts for an exemplary life

Health improvements, self-development, changes in behavior, changes in habits, and legacy building are goals that can be reached when Exemplary Life contracts are used. An exemplary life is lived when future generations are kept in mind, when habits reflect caring for oneself and one’s family and community, and when activities are chosen that create satisfaction with one’s life.

Improving health can be by eating more nutritiously, scheduling regular physical activity, and learning to lessen stress. Self-development can be by learning to play a musical instrument, developing hobbies, and meditating. Changes in behavior can be by becoming more appreciative and being kinder to oneself and others. Changes in habits can be by revising daily routines that are not nourishing and preventing procrastination. Legacy building can be by spending more time with younger people and evaluating the legacy you want to leave. These are but a few of the topics that can be addressed with Exemplary Life contracts.

Contracts for an Exemplary Life is spiritually received assistance that understands what people want. People want their lives to be expressions of who they are. They want to be actively engaged in living and they want to face the challenges that life presents in a confident and gratifying way. Unfortunately, as they go along, people lose their focus and mire themselves in distracting and destructive activities and habits.

With true-to-me contracts, a person can return to the natural way of being: expressing who the person really is, engaging actively in life, and facing challenges with confidence and satisfaction.

Contracts for an Exemplary Life—Using Contracts to Achieve Your Goals contains help for people who really want to bring change. Contracts for an Exemplary Life is available on amazon.com: http://amzn.com/1518880746

Deadlines

Post 59-focus

When a deadline is looming, people respond in many, many ways. Each person has a way of coping or approaching or ignoring or using the deadline to achieve/fail. Some people aim for success; some people aim for failure. Yes, both are aims and both are normal reactions depending on each person’s attitude, history, and current bodily balance or imbalance.

This post is being presented to those who aim for success. (I bet you thought it would be the other aim.)

Aiming for success is usually a positive aspiration. Success in one’s endeavors is considered to be the goal that should be reached. Success. What is success? The dictionary says that success means the attainment of wealth, honors, position, etc. In society, wealth, the receipt of awards, CEOs, elected leaders, and celebrity are the coveted (eagerly wished for) ideals.

Let’s look at success in life. What are successful life goals?

  • Maintaining good family relationships—not always easy, but worth making a goal.
  • Maintaining community—very important and worth the investment.
  • Maintaining a healthy outlook about oneself—influences all the other goals and is vital for reaching the goals with health and self-esteem unharmed.
  • Maintaining work requirements—delivering (a performance or a report), showing up when expected, influencing others or work conditions,  performing duties properly and with concern (no matter the type of work), providing the needed skills (relearning or staying current as needed), and focusing when focus is required.
  • Maintaining a relationship with the environment and the creatures that inhabit the planet. “Creatures” include animals and people.

Success is large and small. Large and small successes. Public and private successes. Often, the small and private successes are the most important.

Getting back to deadlines—each person determines the approach that works or doesn’t work. Remembering to attend to all of the life goals should help keep focus and lessen wasteful fretting and wasteful actions.

Obsessing over celebrities

star sunglasses

What happens when we idolize celebrities? Idolizing celebrities removes a person from his or her reality, because the true reality is away from where the “star” is located. The “star” is living a life somewhere else, and the idolizing person lives in a place between reality and fairy tale.

Fairy tale living is half-living that renders the idolizer removed from reality and removed from time.  Idolizing excessively creates facsimiles of the people doing the idolizing and of the people being idolized. Neither facsimile is real.

Obsessively desiring to be like a celebrity prevents a person from seeing his or her own talents. When a celebrity’s achievements spur others to achieve their own goals, the teaching is uplifting. When the celebrity’s achievements become obsessions without causing positive results for the idolizer, the worship becomes destructive.

Celebrities can spread entertainment, innovation and information, but their lives are not worth idolizing. Their lives have corners that others cannot see, and the truth of their existences is often not so shiny.

Here are celebrity obsessive behaviors that cause removal from one’s own life:

  • Displaying a holiday card of the family of a celebrity financial planner as if you know this family is removal from your own life.
  • Following the tweets and instagrams of a celebrity instead of communications from family and friends is removal from your own life.
  • Changing your appearance or buying clothes you can’t afford to look like a celebrity is removal from your own life.
  • Changing your activities to watch a “star” walk by is removal from your own life.
  • Abandoning principles and close people for the chance of spending time with a celebrity is removal from your own life.

Looking beyond oneself for inspiration is normal human behavior. Watching elders teaches customs and traditions. Listening to others with skills or knowledge as a way to improve one’s own skills or knowledge is useful. Studying the achievements of a person who has impacted others in a positive way is enlightening.

Note: Spirit shares this information as a reminder for each of us to develop our own soulfully gifted talents.

SALVATION!

soul connection

What brings salvation?

Seeing with the heart brings salvation! Listening with ears that are open-minded brings salvation too!

Releasing mean-spirited thoughts is helpful. As is choosing to stop mean-spirited actions.

Salvation can come when the thoughts and actions align in kindness. And when the thoughts and actions align in sympathy.

Note: This blog post contains a strong message from Spirit!

(Note from Renee: I have a lot to work on.)

The person that I am truly meant to be

balance

Oh if life were so easy
I would be the person I was meant to be
I would take on challenges and handle them with ease
I would be open and funny and clever
I would look fabulous and sing on key
I would not be cranky or defensive
And I would not get upset over silly things.

But life isn’t easy
So I let myself off the hook
And often don’t try
And blame others
And wallow in misery
And even give up
Sometimes.

Perhaps there is a place where
I can find respite from my too-difficult me
Where my mind shuts up
And my gut finally stills
Where I let myself accept
And I let myself free
The person that I am truly meant to be.

Post 7-bracelet

Too many people let themselves sink too low. Rather than rejoice in their living, they choose their misery. Sometimes the cause is nutritional, sometimes the cause is hormonal, and sometimes the cause is just habit. When the reason is laziness or lack of appreciation, the way out is through communal service. When the reason is nutritional or hormonal, the way out is through intervention by a nutritionist, naturopath, doctor, or other healing specialist.

There are other causes as well for the spiral downwards, and often spiritual connection can aid the situation. Energy Guidance Complete is spiritual healing focused on balance and elevated living. Making changes in one’s focus can lead to changes in one’s self-centeredness. Finding guidance that is larger than oneself can loosen self-absorption.  Accepting that the difficulties are just difficulties that can be handled releases self-indulgence.

Making changes is not difficult when we truly want to change. Yes, we can make changes when we truly want to change. The first step is to want to bring change. The next step is to truly want to change. Then the search can begin for how to change so that we can live the life that fits who we are.

Standing up for the body

Renee by olive tree

Our bodies are so wondrously composed that to question their capabilities is silly. Our bodies beat out rhythms that move us upwards and forwards. They protect us and guide us when we listen. And they constantly communicate when we are open to listening. People who listen to their bodies recognize hints of illness and shouts of desire. The hints lead to proper care and the shouts lead to connections.

People who don’t listen to their bodies require wake up calls and intervention from experts (who don’t know them).

The body, in its exquisite design, is capable of pushing towards movement, of pushing towards sleep, of pushing towards satisfaction, and pushing towards wellness. The key to tapping into the capabilities is to feel what’s happening, what’s really happening: Are the eyelids drooping? Are the bones tightening? Is the stomach grumbling, and is it quiet when the foods eaten are nourishing? Is the heart feeling joy or is it sad? Is the time to drink water now, and am I drinking water (and not a carbonated beverage)? Am I noticing the signs of illness and am I slowing my pace? Is this my third cold this season, and what does that mean? Have I enjoyed the company of people I love and have I shared my love with them? Is now the time to reach spirituality, and can I be open to new ideas? When will I open my mouth to say what I need, and when will I use my wisdom to advance the welfare of the community? More and more hints on how to proceed in life.

By standing up for the body—by recognizing its gift that is guidance—we can live with wonder and satisfaction. The way we are designed!

Note: This information has been spiritually received.

Success with New Year’s resolutions!

Cover-Contracts for an exemplary life

Set yourself up to succeed with your New Year’s resolutions! Here is a book that can help you reach your goals.

The book is Contracts for an Exemplary Life.  It is  filled with forms and examples that can be the basis for success with your resolutions. It contains contracts that can help you commit to resolution goals and bring focus to the steps that will accomplish your goals.

“There are over forty examples of contracts to help you write a contract for your personal betterment, for your relationships within your family and with other people, for your legacy, for your influence within your community, and for your impact on yourself and others. There are contract forms to help you develop the contracts that will work for you.”  – from the back cover

If you would like help keeping resolutions and making true-to-yourself goals, read Contracts for an Exemplary Life—Using Contracts to Achieve Your Goals. It is available on amazon.com: http://amzn.com/1518880746

Changing the things we know fail us

If you Want it Work for ItThe previous post was about changing ourselves and the will to change. Today’s post delves into my personal failing habit, with hope it can speak to others.

A thing that fails me is my addiction to sugar. I wrote about it in the post “My Contract for Overcoming Cravings“. My sugar addiction was bestowed upon me by well-meaning parents and a food industry that pushed sugar. From a young age, my addiction to sugar affected my health and my food choices, and it followed me into adulthood. Even as an adult educated in the insidiousness of sugar, I have continuous cravings for sugar, which I indulge too often.

The sugar-sneaked-in foods feed the addiction when I’m “off” sugar. The struggle to resist the sugar receives lip service from me, not conviction, because as soon as a host offers me sweet refreshments, I abandon my convictions and knowledge and say, “Sure” rather than explain or offend. My convictions are easily swayed by a pretty sugary confection.

My will to change is affected by the addiction. I’d like to be able to focus on so many other significant aspects of life, but the sugar addiction often takes the focus.

Spirit prompts me to make many changes in my life so that I can be reverent and virtuous in my living in order to be a conduit for the wisdom that is sacred. You would think that the closeness of my connection to Spirit would simplify the process of change. It should, but the force of the sugar addiction, and a few other negative habits, thwart my efforts.

So how can I change the things that I know fail me? Here’s what Spirit says:

  • Acknowledge the areas that create negativity, shame and imbalance, and then develop ways to change them.
  • Acknowledge the actions that are in line with goals. Small and large actions are worth acknowledgement.
  • Look an addiction straight in its glory and acknowledge its power. Then do the work to end it.

One step at a time, change is achieved. The things that fail us can be changed when we really want to change them.

The Will to Change

Will is a powerful force.

Wanting something—really wanting something—really, really wanting something—wanting something determinedly—inspires us to invest our time and thoughts to the wanted thing. When we know our energy is concentrated on achieving desires, we are willing to work and struggle. We are even willing to change!

Sometimes we say we want something—and we really mean to mean it—but the work seems too hard, the struggle feels endless, and the resolve to change is unsure. We waver, because the effort to change and invest ourselves fully overwhelms our self-fabricated existence.

Perhaps the desired thing is desired by someone else for us. Perhaps the desired thing is wanted, but not mightily. Perhaps the desired thing calls, but it conflicts with our obligations and schedules. Sometimes the desired thing is unattainable because of habits, opinions, or addictions we have entrapped ourselves in.

Really wanting something can be tangible awareness of soulful communication when the desired goal fulfills soulful elevation. The wants that give us true fulfillment are the ones that deserve investment.

The will to change: willing to strive and to invest effort, willing to make mistakes and to embrace differences, willing to change habits and to persevere. We can all live satisfying lives when we are willing to know ourselves and change the things we know fail us.

Balancing the balancing—the intertwined design of life

“The design of the body is just exact and nearly as beautiful as the most beautiful object. Being brilliantly designed and executed, the body accompanies its inhabitant throughout the body’s existence. Beautiful in motion, in repose, in its beginning and in its ending, ….”  from the chapter “Connection of the Four Components of Health” in Pond a Connected Existence.

“Being brilliantly designed and executed” is the description of the human body. This description refers not only to the physical component of the body, but also to the nonphysical components—the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual components. The body is a complex interconnected creation that demands balance of all the components to be truly itself. Balance is the key to life as designed.

What does it mean to live in balance?

Achieving balance is important to living well. Living well does not mean being prosperous or famous. Living well means living with purpose and with vitality, with awareness of the rhythms of the world, and with connections. Connections to other people, to the environment, to other creatures, to spiritual presence, and to oneself.

Knowing how to live within the constraints of the human body while enabling it to thrive permits the growth and development of a balanced being. Knowing how to give and take love, kindness, and support permits the widening of the emotions and the strengthening of the body. Knowing how to take interest in the world around and in its inhabitants permits the development of the intellect, the development of the emotions, and the versatility of the body. Knowing how to open to spiritual presence enables the relaxing of the spirit, which then relaxes the intellect, emotions, and body. Spirit—mind—emotions—body; all connected, all the time.

What is the first step towards balance?

The first step to bringing balance to the whole composition that is a person is to accept the intertwined design of life. It is important to understand that each decision, each movement, and each interaction affects the connected body in each of the components. By living as a connected human being—connected to oneself and to one’s interconnected composition and connected to all that is around (the environment, other people, the many creatures), a person can thrive and shine in a life well lived.

What is the second step towards balance?

The second step to bringing balance is to create realistic goals that achieve purposeful living. Here are three examples of steps to purposeful living:

  1. Creating warm and lasting relationships with family members and chosen friends balance all four components of health. This balancing goal can be achieved by scheduling time for visits with, calls to, and fun adventures with family and friends.
  2. Avoiding intentional damage to the environment balances the components of health. Thinking of ways to individually create less havoc in the world—less use of disposables, less reliance on animal products, etc.—balances the intellectual and emotional components of health. Following through and doing these things balances all four components of health.
  3. Avoiding intentional damage to our own selves balances the components of health. This step is not easy, but is necessary for balancing. Examining one’s lifestyle, choices, and activities balances the intellectual and emotional components of health. Following through and making changes balances all four components of health.

A simple way to bring balance

One way to balance yourself is to feel the weather. Rather than rush out of the rain, walk in it and feel the raindrops. Rather than avoid the cold weather, dress appropriately but let yourself shiver and notice your body’s shivering. During the hot months, let your body feel the heat and let it sweat.

Conclusion

By taking steps to connect with ourselves and with our situation (our surroundings, our society, and our ability to bring change), we can create meaningful and well-lived lives!

Mending the Memories

Sequoia

Sometimes we remember mixed up. A memory that felt so clear loses its details. A different memory disappears and reappears a few years later happier than the original memory was. Sometimes a memory is someone else’s telling of an event that we were at, and we remember it partially through our own senses and partially through someone else’s words. Sometimes an event is too traumatic and we remember just little parts.

Sometimes, our memories of an event are actually memories of our feelings at the time. We don’t see the event clearly, because we were ill or tired or busy. Or we were very happy or disappointed or worried. The event takes on the feeling and is remembered through a filter of emotion. The event might have been wonderful, but the emotion was not, and so the memory of the event is not of the real event. The event might have been sad, but the emotion was not, and so the memory might be fond.

Memories can’t really be mended, because our memories aren’t really broken; they’re just slanted. A slanted memory can be “straightened” if we are able to talk to others who were also there or if we think about the event with determination to see it differently.

Memories that make us happy are memories that can be left alone. Memories that bring sadness can sometimes be reexamined to find other sides. Memories that are traumatic and affect our living are helpful if they push us to live fully, but if they hold us back then we need to reexamine them and see them differently. Sometimes the old memories that hold us back are best put away in storage.

(If you want help with memory storage, read this blog post: “Enough Drawers“)

 

Politically Correct

Making fun of people is MEAN. It’s not a question of politically correct or not—it’s just MEAN. It has always been WRONG!

The damage from ridicule is usually hidden, but it is LARGE. It hurts the feelings and hurts the heart, literally. Hidden pain can cause generational harm—that’s how LARGE the damage is.

Making fun of people who are unknown to us or are famous is the same—it’s all MEAN. Being well-known doesn’t change a person’s sensitivity and doesn’t lessen the harm. People who think it’s fine to ridicule well-known people are WRONG—it’s damaging to their own well-being even more than to the people they ridicule.

Hurt feelings from being ridiculed can lead to compromised judgment and to destructive actions. Saying hurtful jokes or opinions about others can lead to self-chastisement and to shame which lower health. Both sides of the ridicule suffer, with each side harmed differently in physical and emotional ways.

Making fun of people is BELITTLING. It has never been right; it has always been WRONG. Reverberations from ridicule compromise whole societies and multiple generations. The effects are incredibly DESTRUCTIVE!

Being politically correct is not the answer. Being generous of spirit is.

The heart heals and the emotions balance when acceptance of others leads the way!

Superiority by Nationality

Countries group people by location, historical development, and geographical reality, which nationalistic feelings elevate.

Superiority by nationality is the viewing of all other nationalities in a condescending way. Feeling better than everyone who lives outside one’s own country is a sense of superiority that is confrontational behavior and enemy building.

Geographical reality creates differences among countries, because some countries are situated with enviable conditions and resources that inspire jealousy or resentment.

A country possessing enviable conditions and resources often maintains citizens who feel entitled to their reality and are possessive of it. Adjacent countries may have conditions and resources that are also deserving of pride, but the other country’s richness seems desirous, and so, the citizens of the adjacent countries may feel resentful or covetous. The clash of entitlement and resentment can lead to rivalries, racism, and wars.

Superiority by nationality describes relationships among countries, but it can also describe relationships among areas within a country, towns within a province, neighborhoods within a city, and loyalty to schools or universities.

At each level, location, historical development, and geographical reality affect how citizens see their environment and the environments of those who inhabit rival territories. Those who feel they have more behave differently from those who feel deprived. Each side can feel superior and relate to the other as less than. The feelings of superiority at the smaller levels can lead to rivalries, treachery, and self-destruction.

————–

People receive the life they are born into and some receive more ease than others, but their circumstances do not entitle them to feel superior. The more a person has, the more he or she should feel grateful and open to those with less.

————–

Spirit is sharing wisdom about  feelings of superiority:

Undeserved Superiority

Here is an important message from Spirit.

Superiority is a strange phenomenon. All people are similar, and yet, there are some who consider themselves superior. These people believe that race membership, financial position, gender affiliation, nationality, and/or education entitle them to raised social status. Physical attractiveness, athletic prowess, and fashion taste are other factors in people acting superior.

Religious superiority is the most destructive belief of all. No religious group has closer connection to God than any other. No group!

The sense of superiority is distancing and it clouds judgment when interacting with others. The sense of superiority tarnishes dialogue and creates contempt. As people distance, misjudge, and condescend, they define a society that is uncaring and disconnected. Such a society cannot nurture its member or provide empathy.

Spirit is clear that a sense of superiority is wrong thinking about oneself and others.

There are a few exceptions when the superiority comes from care for the environment. Everyone who puts their own needs below their care for the environment deserves to feel good about their actions. Focusing on care for the environment has no connection to race, religion, gender, nationality, financial position, physical attractiveness, athletic prowess, or fashion taste.

Respect for the environment unites us all!

Guidance along the Journey

Journey sign

“The journey through life is a series of starts and stops, U-turns and wrong turns, ups and downs, unobstructed paths and no entry areas, straight and obvious routes and winding and precarious backstreets, unpredictable events and constant rhythms. The journey through life is perceived as difficult, or difficult and interesting, or difficult and unfair, or difficult and deserved, or difficult and surmountable, or difficult and this-or-that. The journey through life is varied in length; a short life is mourned and a long life is accepted. The journey through life is similar for all in that it starts with a breath and ends with a gasp (except in cases of sudden unnatural death).”
…from Oneself—Living

We all enter life with stumbling blocks in front of us. Some stumbling blocks are more difficult to pass and some stop us completely. The journey is meant to be trial-and-tribulation full, not smooth-sailing-the-whole-way. The idea that life is supposed to be easy is a marketing ploy that cripples and weakens us. Life is not a laundry detergent commercial with all the stains coming out, clean as new. Life is complex! Yes it is, and the more we prepare for complexity, the more we can exalt in the journey.

Here is guidance for the journey:

  • Learn to breathe properly and variedly. Knowing how to breathe through the changes in life will help you stay focused and well.
  • Develop your senses. Use your eyes to study the world. Use your nose to create memories. Use your ears to connect with animals and plants. Use your mouth to nourish your body. Use your hands to create. Use your bodily awareness to connect with other people.
  • Know yourself. Know the things that draw you to them and the things that repel. Know your temperament and accept it. Know your abilities and your drive. The more you know yourself, and live accordingly, the more you can live truthfully.

“Each step towards balanced living has repercussions for future satisfaction with one’s life. Deliberate work towards wellness, physical and mental, paves the way for life that is enriching. Deliberately choosing activities that better oneself, one’s community, and the surrounding environment rather than choosing activities that distract, paves the way for a life that is rewarding.”
from Contracts for an Exemplary Life–Using Contracts to Achieve Your Goals

To purchase Oneself-Living and Contracts for an Exemplary Life, click these links:

Cover-Contracts for an exemplary lifeCover-Oneself-Living

SHOUT the Wonder! Energy Guidance Connects to Truth!

infantTruth and soulful existence are intertwined possibilities. Creating a life that expresses soulfulness reveals truth that is real for each person.

Soulful existence is often lost as people are shaped by society. People lose the ability to know their own truth.

Energy Guidance Complete delivers wisdom for each person’s truth and soulful existence. Energy Guidance Complete is guidelines to oneself.

To return to one’s intended soulful self requires effort. There is no magical shortcut.

Energy Guidance reaches each person through communication between Renee and Spirit. Renee receives instruction for each person in the way he or she can achieve balance and true direction.

Physical constraints influence the steps towards balance, as do illnesses and past traumas. Determination to achieve goals and live a life that satisfies brings results with each step followed and each message heeded.

Connecting to Energy Guidance opens the way to healing, reality, and soulful existence. Energy Guidance connects to the Truth!

Energy Guidance has helped many issues and troubles. Here is a list of some of them: https://energy-guidance-complete.com/egc-sessions/

Shout the wonder!shout

The Essential Bucket List

bucket-list

A bucket list is assisted fulfillment of worthwhile goals. It offers insight into your personality and soul. It also allows thoughts of death to be considered in a constructive way.

If you want to create a bucket list that will carry you to fulfillment, be sure to include these suggestions on your list:

  • Search for relationships that supply comfort.
  • Decipher the sounds, sights, tastes, and smells that bring you contentment.
  • Give yourself to a cause that connects you to the environment.
  • Try difficulty. (This item refers to any challenge that seems worth trying.)
  • Create a friendship that is satisfying.
  • Receive yourself with compassion. (This item helps you accept and like yourself.)
  • Open to differences. (This item allows you to see the differences in people and societies in a fulfilling way.)

Going through life with a bucket list that reflects these items can bring you joy, adventures, and satisfaction!

Sharing

renee-ein-gedi

So many things can be written about: the importance of sleep or water or nutritious foods. Perhaps nature’s effect on us or the importance of caring for animals. And yet, those topics feel insignificant next to today’s headlines blaring out another surprise terror attack.

Yesterday it happened in the country where I live, the day before in the country where I used to live.

The terror attacks have been happening every day in countries where I’ve never lived or visited, and I tend to let those attacks stay distant. Not let them faze my daily concerns.

Same with the reports of never-ending murders in some cities or horrific attacks on women in other countries or sex trafficking all around the world (my country included), and on and on. So many disturbing reports about the awful ways people treat one another.

“What can I share with people…” I ask Spiritual Presence, “…when I feel too sad to write about the importance of sleep or water or nutritious foods?”

Here’s the answer:

Life flows—highs and lows and in-betweens, floods and ebbs continuously. The lows take people down, where they are capable of incredible meanness. The highs bring them into incredibly kind states.  The meanness and the kindness are tangible expressions of life. Striving for kindness is best.

In my life, I can aim for the kindness and work to keep the low from overtaking. The other stuff is happening and I’ll stay aware, but keep striving for the kindness.

Now I feel a bit more ready to share what I had planned to share before the too near attack happened. The next post will share a dessert recipe I have come to rely upon to keep my nagging sweet tooth at bay. If it can help others combat their own sweet tooth, then I will have done a bit of kindness.

Overcoming Yourself

balance

The biggest obstacle facing each of us is overcoming ourselves.

Yes the environment in which we live influences our choices, but our main obstacle is the internal environment of destructive dialog with ourselves. Certainly the effects of childhood traumas lead to misdirected internal dialog. Choices we make afterwards, even though related to those traumas, are still our choices. The old messages cannot be blamed for all that is wrong later on.

Hurt from relationships that were difficult can influence unconnected relationships, but again, the choice is there to bring in the hurt or accept that the hurt does not have to destroy the other relationships. The internal dialog about relationships can stew in the hurt and disappointment or can move on to excitement and appreciation.

Overcoming self-imposed misery is the most important step in achieving satisfaction. External events cannot bring satisfaction if the internal dialog rejects it. Other people cannot provide happiness when the internal messages prevent it.

The key to overcoming destructive internal dialog is to listen to internal directives instead:

  • Quiet urging to explore interests that have been ignored should be heeded. The quiet urging tells you in a hushed voice that is your connection to yourself and to your essence. The quiet urging presents wisdom within.
  • Incessant thoughts about philanthropy are natural reminders of your humanness. These thoughts can be about family members, friends, or social acquaintances. All people naturally consider the welfare of those around them. These thoughts propel acts of kindness and belonging.
  • Strong messages of Intuitive knowledge advise about actions to take and choices to make. Intuitive knowledge advises about split-second decisions, choice hierarchy (knowing the choice that fits your needs and temperament), and uncomfortable situations. Intuitive messages offer contrast to destructive internal dialog.
  • Bodily cues dispute destructive internal dialog by presenting the body’s needs in tangible feelings of hunger, thirst, restlessness, and shutdown. The cues prevent immersion in despair, unless the body is too weak or overtaken by invasive substances (too much legal or illegal drugs).

In the poem “!!Me!!” from Connection—A Collection of Wisdom Poetry, the following words describe aspects of the destructive internal dialog:

The part that sees the needs of others
and holds back.

The part that sees the needs of me
and holds back.

The part that craves love
and then becomes afraid
when love is received.

Overcoming self-inflicted pain is the most important step towards living a life that is true and fulfilling. Shutting off the destructive internal dialog and amping up the internal directives can bring real satisfaction in life.

Tag Cloud