A Balanced Approach to Wellness!

Posts tagged ‘family’

School is starting, time to sit still–or is it?

Post 80-Attention

School is starting again and many families will be urged, or will insist on, using drugs to help their children sit still in class. The problem is not the children; the problem is the framework.  People have different ways of learning and different interests, and school curricula, in general, ignore these facts. Here is a blog post from last year that discusses the problems with forcing people to sit still.


From “Attention deficits are societal deficits” dated Feb. 4, 2014:

So many interventions are being forced on people these days for attention deficit issues. Symptoms are being treated, but not the causes. The next few posts on my blog will deal with the causes of attention deficit. If you find this outlook interesting, please forward the posts to other like-minded people.

We’ll start with a quote from Oneself—Living:

“Modern living requires focus on activities that can be dull, rote, repetitive, and constraining. Modern schools, work places, institutions, and organizations require participation in dull, rote, repetitive, and constraining tasks and situations. People were designed for tasks and situations that are ever-changing. Tasks that demand constant focus and lengthy concentration tax the natural nature of humans. Distractions, tempest, whirl, and hurly-burly—those are the situations people respond to…

People—are—designed—for—doing some of this, doing some of that, moving here, then moving there, short bouts of focus, studied execution of required tasks and chosen pursuits—and then sleep to recharge, repair, and function. People cannot hear and digest information delivered perfunctorily nor handle verbal assault nor accept displays of unimaginative and unmeant praise nor decipher dull and sterilized writing nor participate in uninspired presentations nor stay still for too long nor perform religious requirements without proper guidance and inspiration. Doing these things result in attention distraction, anger or enhanced criticism, dulled emotions and responses, and opposition against more than the cause of the opposition…

The creation of societies that reward unnatural behaviors and occupations and punish normal human behavior punish themselves. People force and repress and mold themselves to function within the constraints of the modern societies. They think they are superior when they manage to overcome their natural inclinations for movement and physical expression. People do manage to adjust to their polygonal existences, but their bodies and spirits bear the brunt of the altered requirements…

Assuming that a person has a deficit because he or she cannot stay still or cannot focus on a dull and uninspiring topic reflects badly on society. There are people born with deficits or who acquire deficits through accident or illness, but perceived deficits of people who are unable to force themselves to live within uncompromising regulations are not deficits—they are expressions of frustration or unreleased energy or laziness or despair.”


Medicating is not the answer!


Gatherings are opportunities


“A wedding. A funeral. A baby naming. Coming of age ceremonies. Important anniversaries. Unimportant occasions. Unimportant? All occasions that bring people together are important. Gathering together forges ties and friendships, support and community. Whether the occasion is happy or sad or tension filled or relaxed, gathering together leads to emotional release, emotional awareness, or emotional expression,…

… Sometimes people don’t gather because of fear of judgment by others or because they fear outbursts or trouble between attendees. Sometimes they don’t gather because they don’t value the gathering or the occasion or the societal norms…

… People are meant to gather. People are meant to intertwine. People are meant to do for one another, support one another, receive from one another. People have the ability to enrich and entertain and inform one another. Gathering and intertwining, supporting and participating, empathizing and sympathizing are natural aspects of humankind…

… Attending an event is not enough. Being there physically is not enough. Mouthing nice words without meaning them is not enough. Criticism is best left at home. Envy, too. But, heartfelt joy can stay! As can supportive thoughts!…”

Gatherings are opportunities for people to connect and forge relationships. Their importance is presented in Pond a Connected Existence:  http://amzn.com/1494793008

Cover for Pond a Connected Existence

Two-ness, a different look


There is an accepted idea that a man and a woman become “one” when they marry. This “oneness” occurs through the sexual union and through the societal belief that oneness is the product of marriage. In reality, oneness never occurs. Moving in parallel can occur. Clinging to one another can occur. Adapting to one another can occur.

People cannot become one. Each person is a distinct entity with a body designed to prevent intrusion. The partner can come close, but can never enter. The idea of oneness sells fantasy, not reality. The idea of oneness fuels failure, disappointment, and impossible-to-reach expectations. The reality of oneness is “2-ness”. Each person is whole; each person is part of the equation.

Rather than expect to conjoin, people must learn to merge. Merge can mean to combine but that meaning leads back to oneness. Merge also means to meet and join. Like merging traffic. Like sea and sand. They come together but stay in their own form. Merging means finding a way to be together without creating chaos. Merging means giving way or staying firm as needed. Merging means keeping intact while accepting differentness. 2-ness, two-ness, too-ness.

from Pond a Connected Existence:

Thank you to Karen Kozek for photo and arrangement.



The union of two individuals
Union of differences
Distinct preferences
Attractions separate
Yet joined.


The union of two individuals
Direction for life chosen
Focus on similar aim
Movement coordinated
Yet individual.


The union of two individuals
The merging of separate souls
The rhythm of mankind retained.

from the upcoming book of poetry entitled Unfolding

Thank you to Karen Kozek for photo and arrangement.

The basic tests for maintaining health, Test #3


The post “Monitoring Health” (https://energy-guidance-complete.com/2014/08/24/monitoring-health/) brings awareness of the tests that should be performed in order to evaluate health.

Here is Test #3.

Test #3: Attention to self-needs

Ignoring one’s needs damages all the aspects of balanced health (physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual). This area does not mean self-centeredness. It means self-support.

When we fly, we are told to put on our oxygen mask before we put the mask on any dependent that is traveling with us. First we take care of ourselves so that we can help others. The same applies to our well-being. We must take care of ourselves so that we can help others.

Here are the questions for the basic test:

  1. Sleep: I schedule the appropriate amount of time for sleep each day. Yes/No
    (for people with young children, this can mean sleeping when they are napping)
  2. Relationships: I schedule time to be with people who are special to me. Yes/No
  3. Nutrition: I eat foods that satisfy my hunger for nutrition (eating to satisfy emotional issues is a No) Yes/No
  4. Movement: I schedule time for moving my body—exercise, dancing, walking, swimming, biking, team sport, etc. Yes/No

There are additional questions; however, these four are a good beginning. Consider your answers and then consider the meaning of each question.

Being sensitive to your needs is good for your health!



Screen! My beloved screen!

 Post 122-screen love affair

If people looked at a garden as much as they look at their computer screen, they would be more alive. If people looked at the faces of other people as much as they look at the faces on their screen, they would be more enriched. If people looked at their living environment as much as they look at their screens, they would be more active.

The time spent with the smartphone screen, computer screen, TV screen, tablet screen is time spent. Sometimes wisely, sometimes not. Time that cannot be returned, that cannot be spent on more sustaining activities.

How to break free of the screen love affair!

For adults

  • Don’t turn on any screens in the morning, unless you need them for work, in which case, only turn on a screen right before you are going to use it (for work).
  • Turn off all screens two hours (or more) before bedtime.
  • In the middle of the day, do the same as above. Turn off screens unless you are using them for work. On your smartphone, close all unnecessary apps, especially the distracting ones. Set a time in the day for Facebook-type activities and don’t stay on longer than that set amount. Set a time in the day for handling social emails. Abandon computer and app games—they are time obliteraters. Set a time in the day for looking at online information that is important to you (like this blog 🙂 ) and stick to the schedule. Examine the online information you look at that is not sustaining and work towards reducing the time you spend viewing the non-sustaining information. If you use any type of reminder system, use it to remind yourself about these screen changes.

For children

  • If your child is under the age of 13 (12 and under, toddlers are not being discussed), you—the parent—have the authority to limit their screen time. Be authoritative and set limits that are realistic. A child who is under the age of 13 should not be viewing a screen for more than two hours in a day. Don’t use screens as a way to keep your child quiet. If you need your child to be quiet, be more creative in your solutions. Also, follow the guidelines above and be a good example.
  • If your child is 13 or older, you do have the authority to limit screen time, but the weight of your words is less. The best you can do is follow the guidelines above and be a good example and provide interesting alternatives to screen time: family hikes, family puzzle building, family bike rides, etc.

People don’t realize the extent to which screens are devouring their lives. If you can make the changes suggested above, you will enable more balance in your life. Best wishes for successful declawing of your screens!

Overcoming the attention deficit mindset

Post 86--Overcomng A-DPeople who have been categorized as ADD or ADHD or sort of ADD or ADHD or on the verge of ADD or ADHD or growing into ADD or ADHD are in need of balancing:

  • Balancing of physical needs: proper food and water intake, proper sleep, sufficient movement each day, and relaxation of the eyes
  • Balancing of emotional needs
  • Balancing of intellectual needs
  • Balancing of caregivers’ needs

Handling attention deficit designations can cause much work on the part of caregivers (parents and guardians). Caregivers must be aware that their actions towards the A-D designee influence the A-D exhibition. The more balanced the A-D designee, the less symptoms exhibited.

Ways to balance A-D-afflicted people

  • Drink a glass of water upon rising each morning.
  • Eat a proper breakfast before school or work (most breakfast cereals, chocolate milk, and quick snacky foods do not count as proper breakfast foods).
  • Plan movement into every day: walking, dancing, biking, swimming, running, jumping, skipping, etc.
  • Take frequent breaks from TV watching, from lengthy computer and mobile device work and play, and from prolonged viewing of oneself in mirrors.
  • Take part in activities that better other people, the environment, and animals.
  • Take part in housecleaning, home plant care, outdoor home care, etc. Each person should share in these tasks.
  • Observe nature every day, even if there is only a single plant near one’s home. The more nature is observed, the more developed a person’s observation and focus skills.
  • Challenge oneself through reading, puzzles, riddles, learning to play a musical instrument, learning to enjoy something that originally appeared to be boring.

Overcoming the stigma of being A-D afflicted

People who have been classified or sort-of classified as ADD or ADHD should not lower their expectations of themselves. They should see themselves as normal people who need to attend to their body’s conversation. If the body is signaling that it has been sitting too long, it probably has—time to move. They should aim for living in balance and in harmony with their environment.

Changes for all

Everyone who lives in the hustle-bustle of today’s society needs to add more moments of nature into their lives. More deep breathing, more sleep. Better awareness of food intake (less processed stuff) and of physical activity. More focus on building connections with other people and with the society.

Please share this information with people who question the status quo of dealing with attention deficit issues.

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