A Balanced Approach to Wellness!

Posts tagged ‘family’

School is starting, time to sit still–or is it?

Post 80-Attention

School is starting again and many families will be urged, or will insist on, using drugs to help their children sit still in class. The problem is not the children; the problem is the framework.  People have different ways of learning and different interests, and school curricula, in general, ignore these facts. Here is a blog post from last year that discusses the problems with forcing people to sit still.

———————————————

From “Attention deficits are societal deficits” dated Feb. 4, 2014:

So many interventions are being forced on people these days for attention deficit issues. Symptoms are being treated, but not the causes. The next few posts on my blog will deal with the causes of attention deficit. If you find this outlook interesting, please forward the posts to other like-minded people.

We’ll start with a quote from Oneself—Living:

“Modern living requires focus on activities that can be dull, rote, repetitive, and constraining. Modern schools, work places, institutions, and organizations require participation in dull, rote, repetitive, and constraining tasks and situations. People were designed for tasks and situations that are ever-changing. Tasks that demand constant focus and lengthy concentration tax the natural nature of humans. Distractions, tempest, whirl, and hurly-burly—those are the situations people respond to…

People—are—designed—for—doing some of this, doing some of that, moving here, then moving there, short bouts of focus, studied execution of required tasks and chosen pursuits—and then sleep to recharge, repair, and function. People cannot hear and digest information delivered perfunctorily nor handle verbal assault nor accept displays of unimaginative and unmeant praise nor decipher dull and sterilized writing nor participate in uninspired presentations nor stay still for too long nor perform religious requirements without proper guidance and inspiration. Doing these things result in attention distraction, anger or enhanced criticism, dulled emotions and responses, and opposition against more than the cause of the opposition…

The creation of societies that reward unnatural behaviors and occupations and punish normal human behavior punish themselves. People force and repress and mold themselves to function within the constraints of the modern societies. They think they are superior when they manage to overcome their natural inclinations for movement and physical expression. People do manage to adjust to their polygonal existences, but their bodies and spirits bear the brunt of the altered requirements…

Assuming that a person has a deficit because he or she cannot stay still or cannot focus on a dull and uninspiring topic reflects badly on society. There are people born with deficits or who acquire deficits through accident or illness, but perceived deficits of people who are unable to force themselves to live within uncompromising regulations are not deficits—they are expressions of frustration or unreleased energy or laziness or despair.”

———————————————

Medicating is not the answer!

 

Gatherings are opportunities

gatherings

“A wedding. A funeral. A baby naming. Coming of age ceremonies. Important anniversaries. Unimportant occasions. Unimportant? All occasions that bring people together are important. Gathering together forges ties and friendships, support and community. Whether the occasion is happy or sad or tension filled or relaxed, gathering together leads to emotional release, emotional awareness, or emotional expression,…

… Sometimes people don’t gather because of fear of judgment by others or because they fear outbursts or trouble between attendees. Sometimes they don’t gather because they don’t value the gathering or the occasion or the societal norms…

… People are meant to gather. People are meant to intertwine. People are meant to do for one another, support one another, receive from one another. People have the ability to enrich and entertain and inform one another. Gathering and intertwining, supporting and participating, empathizing and sympathizing are natural aspects of humankind…

… Attending an event is not enough. Being there physically is not enough. Mouthing nice words without meaning them is not enough. Criticism is best left at home. Envy, too. But, heartfelt joy can stay! As can supportive thoughts!…”

Gatherings are opportunities for people to connect and forge relationships. Their importance is presented in Pond a Connected Existence:  http://amzn.com/1494793008

Cover for Pond a Connected Existence

Two-ness, a different look

photo083YU4RG

There is an accepted idea that a man and a woman become “one” when they marry. This “oneness” occurs through the sexual union and through the societal belief that oneness is the product of marriage. In reality, oneness never occurs. Moving in parallel can occur. Clinging to one another can occur. Adapting to one another can occur.

People cannot become one. Each person is a distinct entity with a body designed to prevent intrusion. The partner can come close, but can never enter. The idea of oneness sells fantasy, not reality. The idea of oneness fuels failure, disappointment, and impossible-to-reach expectations. The reality of oneness is “2-ness”. Each person is whole; each person is part of the equation.

Rather than expect to conjoin, people must learn to merge. Merge can mean to combine but that meaning leads back to oneness. Merge also means to meet and join. Like merging traffic. Like sea and sand. They come together but stay in their own form. Merging means finding a way to be together without creating chaos. Merging means giving way or staying firm as needed. Merging means keeping intact while accepting differentness. 2-ness, two-ness, too-ness.

from Pond a Connected Existence:
http://www.amazon.com/Pond-Connected-Existence-Insights-Existence-Me/dp/1494793008/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423498522&sr=8-1&keywords=pond+a+connected+existence

Thank you to Karen Kozek for photo and arrangement.

Two-ness

photo083YU4RG

The union of two individuals
Union of differences
Distinct preferences
Attractions separate
Yet joined.

Two
Too
Together

The union of two individuals
Direction for life chosen
Focus on similar aim
Movement coordinated
Yet individual.

Two
Too
Together

The union of two individuals
The merging of separate souls
The rhythm of mankind retained.

from the upcoming book of poetry entitled Unfolding

Thank you to Karen Kozek for photo and arrangement.

The basic tests for maintaining health, Test #3

treble_staff

The post “Monitoring Health” (https://energy-guidance-complete.com/2014/08/24/monitoring-health/) brings awareness of the tests that should be performed in order to evaluate health.

Here is Test #3.

Test #3: Attention to self-needs

Ignoring one’s needs damages all the aspects of balanced health (physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual). This area does not mean self-centeredness. It means self-support.

When we fly, we are told to put on our oxygen mask before we put the mask on any dependent that is traveling with us. First we take care of ourselves so that we can help others. The same applies to our well-being. We must take care of ourselves so that we can help others.

Here are the questions for the basic test:

  1. Sleep: I schedule the appropriate amount of time for sleep each day. Yes/No
    (for people with young children, this can mean sleeping when they are napping)
  2. Relationships: I schedule time to be with people who are special to me. Yes/No
  3. Nutrition: I eat foods that satisfy my hunger for nutrition (eating to satisfy emotional issues is a No) Yes/No
  4. Movement: I schedule time for moving my body—exercise, dancing, walking, swimming, biking, team sport, etc. Yes/No

There are additional questions; however, these four are a good beginning. Consider your answers and then consider the meaning of each question.

Being sensitive to your needs is good for your health!

Hearts

 

Screen! My beloved screen!

 Post 122-screen love affair

If people looked at a garden as much as they look at their computer screen, they would be more alive. If people looked at the faces of other people as much as they look at the faces on their screen, they would be more enriched. If people looked at their living environment as much as they look at their screens, they would be more active.

The time spent with the smartphone screen, computer screen, TV screen, tablet screen is time spent. Sometimes wisely, sometimes not. Time that cannot be returned, that cannot be spent on more sustaining activities.

How to break free of the screen love affair!

For adults

  • Don’t turn on any screens in the morning, unless you need them for work, in which case, only turn on a screen right before you are going to use it (for work).
  • Turn off all screens two hours (or more) before bedtime.
  • In the middle of the day, do the same as above. Turn off screens unless you are using them for work. On your smartphone, close all unnecessary apps, especially the distracting ones. Set a time in the day for Facebook-type activities and don’t stay on longer than that set amount. Set a time in the day for handling social emails. Abandon computer and app games—they are time obliteraters. Set a time in the day for looking at online information that is important to you (like this blog 🙂 ) and stick to the schedule. Examine the online information you look at that is not sustaining and work towards reducing the time you spend viewing the non-sustaining information. If you use any type of reminder system, use it to remind yourself about these screen changes.

For children

  • If your child is under the age of 13 (12 and under, toddlers are not being discussed), you—the parent—have the authority to limit their screen time. Be authoritative and set limits that are realistic. A child who is under the age of 13 should not be viewing a screen for more than two hours in a day. Don’t use screens as a way to keep your child quiet. If you need your child to be quiet, be more creative in your solutions. Also, follow the guidelines above and be a good example.
  • If your child is 13 or older, you do have the authority to limit screen time, but the weight of your words is less. The best you can do is follow the guidelines above and be a good example and provide interesting alternatives to screen time: family hikes, family puzzle building, family bike rides, etc.

People don’t realize the extent to which screens are devouring their lives. If you can make the changes suggested above, you will enable more balance in your life. Best wishes for successful declawing of your screens!

Overcoming the attention deficit mindset

Post 86--Overcomng A-DPeople who have been categorized as ADD or ADHD or sort of ADD or ADHD or on the verge of ADD or ADHD or growing into ADD or ADHD are in need of balancing:

  • Balancing of physical needs: proper food and water intake, proper sleep, sufficient movement each day, and relaxation of the eyes
  • Balancing of emotional needs
  • Balancing of intellectual needs
  • Balancing of caregivers’ needs

Handling attention deficit designations can cause much work on the part of caregivers (parents and guardians). Caregivers must be aware that their actions towards the A-D designee influence the A-D exhibition. The more balanced the A-D designee, the less symptoms exhibited.

Ways to balance A-D-afflicted people

  • Drink a glass of water upon rising each morning.
  • Eat a proper breakfast before school or work (most breakfast cereals, chocolate milk, and quick snacky foods do not count as proper breakfast foods).
  • Plan movement into every day: walking, dancing, biking, swimming, running, jumping, skipping, etc.
  • Take frequent breaks from TV watching, from lengthy computer and mobile device work and play, and from prolonged viewing of oneself in mirrors.
  • Take part in activities that better other people, the environment, and animals.
  • Take part in housecleaning, home plant care, outdoor home care, etc. Each person should share in these tasks.
  • Observe nature every day, even if there is only a single plant near one’s home. The more nature is observed, the more developed a person’s observation and focus skills.
  • Challenge oneself through reading, puzzles, riddles, learning to play a musical instrument, learning to enjoy something that originally appeared to be boring.

Overcoming the stigma of being A-D afflicted

People who have been classified or sort-of classified as ADD or ADHD should not lower their expectations of themselves. They should see themselves as normal people who need to attend to their body’s conversation. If the body is signaling that it has been sitting too long, it probably has—time to move. They should aim for living in balance and in harmony with their environment.

Changes for all

Everyone who lives in the hustle-bustle of today’s society needs to add more moments of nature into their lives. More deep breathing, more sleep. Better awareness of food intake (less processed stuff) and of physical activity. More focus on building connections with other people and with the society.

Please share this information with people who question the status quo of dealing with attention deficit issues.

One more factor in attention deficit creation

Post 85-one more factor

Babies who are born healthy have the ability to observe and learn as they grow. Once they are socialized, their abilities to observe and learn have been set. Not set in stone, set in motion. The type of motion is the determining factor in learning inability. If the motion is too indulgent, pressured or inconsistent, then negative opinions of self and one’s abilities to focus and absorb are formed. If the motion is accepting, engendering of feelings of responsibility and consistent, then abilities are appreciated and worked. In either case, the ability to learn is there, but the perception of it is altered—positively or negatively.

Of the negative forces, indulgence has become a determining manipulator of people’s ability to work diligently, attempt new tasks and manage disagreeable ones, practice, and maintain a supportive attitude. Indulgence does not require wealth; it requires a caregiver who does not accept that sadness, difficulty, and frustration are normal parts of development. Indulgence leads to requiring immediate gratification and/or feelings of lack. When “attention deficit” is suspected, indulgence must be examined. It is reversible!

Of the positive forces, engendering feelings of responsibility is very important. Children must feel that their contributions are needed. Each small task that a child does in his or her home builds confidence and focus. People want to feel necessary and challenged—these are design features!

More to come…Please share this information with people who question the status quo of dealing with attention deficit issues.

External and internal pressures that affect attention maintenance

Post 84-pressures

Attention deficits occur when attention is unfocused, unavailable, and uninterested. Unfocused: too many distractions, too many choices. Unavailable: inadequate nourishment, hydration, sleep, movement, confidence. Uninterested: the subject of focus is irrelevant or too difficult or presented inadequately.

Maintaining attention when distracted, unable to decide, inadequately nourished, lacking in water, sleep deprived, needing to move, low in confident-ness (not knowing one’s gifts), the material or task is not clearly needed, the material or task seems overwhelming, or the material or task requires additional explanation—all these pressures tax the body’s ability to handle concentration.

Above all, expecting to succeed without working at goals, without applying oneself, without failing is expectation folly. Each person has certain gifts (many, many more than they usually think), but not enough to have success at all endeavors. Living in today’s world requires investing time and effort into learning many things that aren’t interesting and aren’t easily internalized. Success comes from diligence, repeated attempts, practice, and attitude that is accepting and uplifting.

More to come…Please share this information with people who question the status quo of dealing with attention deficit issues.

Refuse to be labeled!

Post 83-Refuse labels

Refuse to be labeled!

Refuse to be called deficient!

Refuse to accept mediocrity in yourself!

Refuse to let others think of you as deficient or different!

Refuse to be less than you really are!

These instructions are for people who have been labeled with ADD or ADHD. The labeling applies to very few people, and even then, the labeling is inaccurate. The overuse of these labels is destructive. For people and for society. An epidemic is occurring in which perfectly normal people are turning into people with deficiencies, and who then must be treated. Perfectly normal includes people who have trouble sitting still. Perfectly normal includes people who must take breaks when doing prolonged activities that bore them. Perfectly normal includes people whose conversations jump from topic to topic-tangential conversations are normal. This list of perfectly normal can go on and on. Perfectly normal covers most “imperfections” in people.

Problems caused by genetic or birth defects (such as defects that result from alcohol or drug use by pregnant women), accidents, diseases, and such are different. The resulting people are different and require special attention—usually more exposure to nature and kindness.

Everyone struggles with something. That is the nature of existing.

More to come…Please share this information with people who question the status quo of dealing with attention deficit issues.

Distractions along the way

Post 82-

Maintaining concentration is made difficult when pressure is felt or goals are not concrete and personally important. When a person is easily distracted (which is most people), small or seemingly important distractions can completely upstage the true goals. On top of that, if a person is a “deficit in attention” labeled person, he or she may accept the easily distractedness as a personality trait rather than work at maintaining concentration.

All people are designed to be distracted; it is a survival technique. People are also designed to concentrate in short segments of time. Prolonged concentration is not to be expected without a price in imbalance in the body. Also, making excuses for lack of ability to concentrate for prolonged periods of time is wasted effort. Of course most people can’t do that; it’s not part of the design.

Rather than label children (or adults) because they can’t sit still or focus on personally unimportant information, parents and caregivers (including teachers) should consider issues such as nutrition, home dynamics, sleep disturbances, lack of sufficient physical movement, interests of the child, intellectual challenges (or lack of), stimulation from too much exposure to technology, lack of stimulation from natural elements (nature, animals, and the seasons), and invisibility (the child feels that he or she is not really seen for who he/she is). All these influences come into play when maintaining concentration is too easily broken.

More to come…Please share this information with people who question the status quo of dealing with attention deficit issues.

Healing attention issues through nature

Post 81-helaing through nature

Mountains
Rolling hills
Roadside scenery
These things
Take for granted
People
People

People,
People
Take for granted
These things:
Roadside scenery
Rolling hills
Mountains

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Applications
Social network games
Internet sensations
These things
Too much focus
From.
Distraction!

 Distraction
From
Too much focus
These things:
Internet sensations
Social network games
Applications

@@@@@@@@@@@

“The influences of nature were once the major influences on people. Some people and cultures run their lives around the cycles of nature, but the number of people who are nature-centric lessens with developments in technology. The ways in which people are affected and driven by nature are many. Being cut off from nature contributes to lowered attentiveness which in turn decreases attention capabilities. The connection to flora and fauna significantly 1) broadens and heightens understanding of cycles and fluctuations; 2) develops appreciative and inquisitive capabilities; and 3) causes people to examine and work with vegetation that aid human life and animals that enhance human existence. When people allowed fluctuations of time, season, and life to govern their lives, they developed more attentive skills.”  from the chapter “What is Attention Capability?” in Oneself—Living (soon to be published).

Without a constant connection to nature, the ability to concentrate for extended periods of time is lessened and unappreciated, the ability to focus is shortened, and the ability to be resourceful is lessened. Not for everyone, but for most.

The lessening and shortening of concentration, focus and resourcefulness have led to wide-scale lack-of-attention problems. Occasionally, the problems have additional contributors such as genetic or hereditary deficits or human-inflicted causes (abuse or improper treatment). Lack-of-attention problems have become big business, and the causes are being overlooked, while the symptoms are being treated or over-treated.

The best way to reverse attention lack-of is to rediscover nature!

  • More walks in green areas!
  • More visits to parks and nature areas!
  • More visits to petting zoos and to farms that allow the animals to be touched!
  • More fruit picking and visits to farmers’ markets!
  • More plants and flowers inside the home and more attention to landscaping outside the home!
  • More observation of roadside scenery, of the sky and of the landscape around us!
  • More visits to water: beaches, lakes, rivers and springs!
  • More visits to botanical gardens and other city gardens!
  • More participation in community gardens and garden clubs!
  • More making of mud pies and castles in the sand!
  • More walking barefoot in the grass!
  • More playing of instruments! (Oops-this hint belongs in another post, but it applies here too 🙂

Attention deficits are societal deficits

Post 80-Attention

So many interventions are being forced on people these days for attention deficit issues. Symptoms are being treated, but not the causes. The next few posts on my blog will deal with the causes of attention deficit. If you find this outlook interesting, please forward the posts to other like-minded people.

We’ll start with a quote from Oneself—Living (soon to be published):

“Modern living requires focus on activities that can be dull, rote, repetitive, and constraining. Modern schools, work places, institutions, and organizations require participation in dull, rote, repetitive, and constraining tasks and situations. People were designed for tasks and situations that are ever-changing. Tasks that demand constant focus and lengthy concentration tax the natural nature of humans. Distractions, tempest, whirl, and hurly-burly—those are the situations people respond to…

People—are—designed—for—doing some of this, doing some of that, moving here, then moving there, short bouts of focus, studied execution of required tasks and chosen pursuits—and then sleep to recharge, repair, and function. People cannot hear and digest information delivered perfunctorily nor handle verbal assault nor accept displays of unimaginative and unmeant praise nor decipher dull and sterilized writing nor participate in uninspired presentations nor stay still for too long nor perform religious requirements without proper guidance and inspiration. Doing these things result in attention distraction, anger or enhanced criticism, dulled emotions and responses, and opposition against more than the cause of the opposition…

The creation of societies that reward unnatural behaviors and occupations and punish normal human behavior punish themselves. People force and repress and mold themselves to function within the constraints of the modern societies. They think they are superior when they manage to overcome their natural inclinations for movement and physical expression. People do manage to adjust to their polygonal existences, but their bodies and spirits bear the brunt of the altered requirements…

Assuming that a person has a deficit because he or she cannot stay still or cannot focus on a dull and uninspiring topic reflects badly on society. There are people born with deficits or who acquire deficits through accident or illness, but perceived deficits of people who are unable to force themselves to live within uncompromising regulations are not deficits—they are expressions of frustration or unreleased energy or laziness or despair.”

Tomorrow’s post: Healing attention issues through nature

Gathering in times of…

Post 12 Screen beans mom and kids

Soon, I will be attending several family gatherings. In honor of these special occasions, here is an essay—well, part of an essay—from book #2:

“A wedding. A funeral. A baby naming. Coming of age ceremonies. Important anniversaries. Unimportant occasions. Unimportant? All occasions that bring people together are important. Gathering together forges ties and friendships, support and community. Whether the occasion is happy or sad or tension filled or relaxed, gathering together leads to emotional release, emotional awareness, or emotional expression, even if the emotions are repressed or explosive. The importance of gathering in small groups or in larger arrangements is often overlooked.

People are meant to gather. People are meant to intertwine. People are meant to do for one another, support one another, receive from one another. People have the ability to enrich and entertain and inform one another. Gathering and intertwining, supporting and participating, empathizing and sympathizing are natural aspects of humankind. People who shun human contact, gatherings, or other human interactions have been damaged; they are not the natural beings they were born to be. Their natural inclinations should be to join in, not opt out. Ill treatment by others usually causes these deviations. Some see self-sufficiency and the creation of imaginary barriers to keep people out as positive things. They are wrong. People are meant to connect.

Attending an event is not enough. Being there physically is not enough. Mouthing nice words without meaning them is not enough. Criticism is best left at home. Envy, too. But, heartfelt joy can stay! As can supportive thoughts! And feelings of comfort or pride or respect—depending on the occasion and the circumstances. Focusing on the people, whether we are tired or busy or have attended “too many” events. Enjoying each one for its own merits, its own purpose, its own celebration.”

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