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Archive for the ‘People’ Category

Objectivity–Is there such a thing?

Continue living

Objectivity exists in the world of the spirit. Subjectivity exists in the world of the corporal.

That “objective” is a word which is used to describe news or research or competitions or opinions is faulty. People are inherently subjective. Given that people are subjective in their thinking, the expectation that people or communications can be objective is misdirected expectation.

We all have opinions, ideas, thoughts, and reactions that are influenced by society, upbringing, and historical events. Our soul-given abilities, likes, and dislikes also influence our opinions, ideas, thoughts, and reactions.

From our birth, we are destined to see the world through a subjective, individualistic periscope. Our view is limited by design.

Note: This information has been spiritually received.

 

What’s up with “fight or flight”?

Distracting colors

Are “fight or flight” our main responses to fear and stress? That’s what everyone says, but is that so? I’ve asked Spirit, because I want to know. Here’s what Spirit informs me:

People have built-in mechanisms that evaluate danger. (We can call them signals and pulls.) These mechanisms help us evaluate situations and feel how to respond. Our responses depend on many things: age, health status, physical impediments, mental breadth, hunger or thirst, breath capacity, emotional attachments, emotional memories, abdominal state, vision, fears, and awakeness. Besides these uniquely personal statuses, we are influenced by our family, neighbors, responsibilities, and desires.

When a situation requires a response, our bodies (intangible and tangible) must process a response that suits our personal statuses and our outer circle. If the outer circle (family, neighbors, etc.) has strong influence, then our response will be geared towards others. If our response is completely our own, then the personal statuses will force us to devise a response to suit our current situation. If we choose a response that doesn’t suit (for example, choosing to hide when we are too exhausted to move), our signals or pulls will usually join to give us the ability to pursue the chosen response.

Here are typical responses to fear and stress: hiding, lowering to the ground, pulling inwards to be physically compact, freezing in place, falling asleep, entering a shock state, denial, emotional displays (crying, sobbing, begging, anger), and confusion. And possibly, fight. And possibly, flight.  Fight and flight are two responses among many so that to speak only of fight or flight is an incorrect characterization of human response.

Each of the responses has a different effect on the body, some effects being more destructive than others. Stress that is handled through freezing in place or denial has differing effects than fight or angry actions. Stress that is denied can be more destructive than stress that is released through tears. Fear that is handled by hiding can be permanently installed in the body, while fear that is handled through entering a shock state can be forgotten. Each response yields a different effect on the body depending on the personal statuses and the forces of the outer circle.

Characterizing the effects of fear and stress as fight or flight is too broad. Each person is an individual response being, and no two people are alike.

Why do people yell?

annoying family

Yelling is a design feature in humans. It is a way to attract attention and change focus. Yelling can prevent disasters when it is produced from a natural desire to protect. Yelling can weaken relationships when it is produced from a natural feeling of uncertainty.

When yelling takes place, the person yelling has elevated blood pressure and suppressed immune system, no matter the reason for the yelling. The yeller is in a position of vulnerability, because of the physiological changes. When the yelling is accompanied by lack of sleep or dehydration, the yelled messages are less controlled. Lack of sleep affects yelling volume; dehydration influences the words that are yelled.

When yelling takes place, other systems in the body slow down. If the yeller is a pregnant woman, the fetus is protected but the other systems are slowed even more. If the yeller is angry, the systems are slowed to the same extent as the pregnant woman.

Yelling is a natural expression of impatience released, and it forces its way out when not controlled. Yelling naturally expresses frustration, discomfort, and desire to be heard.

Young children yell when their caregivers ignore them or refuse to give them what they want. They naturally express their state-of-being, unless they have been socialized to withdraw.

In relationships, yelling is an expression of human desire to be heard, to be agreed with, to be supported, and to be wanted. The yelling can rage out of control if lack of sleep, hunger, intense sadness, or hormonal imbalance are present. Yelling can be beyond control, sometimes because of physiological causes and sometimes because of developmental limitations.

Cultures that discourage yelling rely on skills of listening thoroughly to one another and on development of clear expression. Cultures that glamorize yelling often have an emphasis on spontaneity, which can lead to uncertainty in a person’s standing with others. Cultures that inhibit personal expression often produce highly volatile members. They may not yell, but they may explode through destructive actions.

When the feeling to yell occurs, depending on one’s culture, the feeling can be examined or actualized. Yelling is a natural release, but it only brings satisfaction if the listener is prompted to act judiciously. When yelling occurs, it is an opportunity to examine communications and feelings. If the feelings have sad or uncertain undertones, the yelling is simply a symptom and an opportunity for better energy (atmosphere, physical state [balance, hunger, sleep], communication, education).

Our design is exact, and the ability to yell in order to be heard is part of that exact design.

Note: This information has been spiritually received.

 

Why do people …, a series

Why do people

Some of the things we do are individualistic and some are caused by our similar design. For example, people yell at one another because of a design feature!

When we create, we express individual personality, ideas, and experiences. When we interact, we pull on instinct, hormonal influences, and gut reactions. The interaction forces are grounded in the design features that make us similar to one another.

By understanding our design, we can know how to deal with others properly. The next few blog posts will be about the reasons we people do some of the things we do.

Note: Spirit is sharing the design information so that interactions can be more understanding.

Happiness & Joy–twinned reactions

imitating glasses

Like double-strand yarn or the double helix of DNA, happiness and joy wind and twist around each other. The reaction that gives joy also gives happiness, and the sense of happiness brings.joy.
They aren’t the same, but they are simultaneous.
The question, “Are you feeling Joy or are you feeling happiness?”, is difficult to answer, because the two are so connected. A joyous moment provides happy memories, and a happy event sends in joyous sensations. One without the other is rare.

caringHappiness & joy–twinned reactions are part of our design! 🙂

Note: Spirit shares this information to give us insight into our design.

A spiritual look at transgender

transgender

Throughout history, men and woman have struggled with sexual orientation. Some have been able to live a life that suited their perceptions of themselves, because they lived in societies that were either accepting or they lived outside the confines of their society. Those who struggled to live within their society’s sexual boundaries often suffered from emotional and internal questioning and policing.

Sexual orientation is a DNA-related determination. DNA generally assigns sexual orientation in a standard process: female physicality with female perception, male physicality with male perception. The process can be disrupted or stunted so that the standard male-female perception-physicality are altered.  The changes to DNA occur in utero. (This alteration can also happen to various animal groups.)

Sexual orientation is felt through hormonal input. The hormonal push to be male or female is also standard. The hormones and their development can be rearranged because of external triggers so that behaviors of sexual nature become shifted. (This alteration does not happen to other animals.)

Society is accepting or not accepting of the unstandard. Having unstandard DNA assignment is a fact. Living with it is the norm, but if society is unwilling to be accepting of unstandard DNA assignment, the people who receive homosexual or gender oppositing assignment are forced to live falsely. This type of living is difficult and diminishing.

Some societies are open to the reality of DNA assignment that is not standard. This openness enables living according to DNA assignment, and sometimes allows for additional acceptance of hormonal rearrangements. The societies that create space for the people who feel that their hormonal calls are for exploration of unfamiliar orientation (transgender) are societies that move beyond the ordinary.

The use of medical treatments to enhance transgender orientation is not enhancing to the people who receive it. They may think it will be valuable, but it creates restrictions rather than releases.

Note: This information has been spiritually received and is not based on scientific research.

 

Unmistakably positive quirkiness

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People are positively quirky!

Each person develops an individual way of fathoming the world and of relating to others. No two people are the same, even if they look alike or they like similar things. The quirkiness lies in the depths of the personality and in the soul. No two souls are the same, and the differences manifest in words and actions.

Quirkiness is the word to describe people. The funny faces, unconventional comments, artistic individuality, musical expressions, unusual habits, and movements when unobserved are typical quirky people actions.

Quirkiness celebrates the reality of people. People are naturally quirky and that’s a positive reality of people!

Communication in all its forms

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Some communication is verbal, some is visual, some is direct, some is implied, and some is internal.

Internal communication

The internal communication is the conversation within a person’s body, when the body is notifying the person about its needs or situation. Internal communication influences all the other types of communication, because it influences people’s actions and reactions.

Ignoring internal communication can lead to illness, suffering, and poor choices.

Implied communication

Implied communication requires interest and interpretation. Cues have to be noticed and deciphered. Usually implied communication is easily missed and misunderstood.

An example of misunderstood communication is a baby crying because his feet are cramped, and the parent tries many ways to stop the crying, but doesn’t know to adjust the baby’s socks. An example of missed communication is a teenager staying silent about feelings of sadness, but exhibiting overly helpful or overly apathetic behavior, and the parent doesn’t realize the cause.

Direct communication

Direct communication is natural for babies, animals living in nature, and people who have physical impediments that restrict societally sanctioned behavior. Direct communication is truth through words or actions that is true for the person communicating them. These communications are not censored or filtered.

Direct communication is hard for people who have been conditioned to fit into society; in other words, most people above the age of 24 months have learned to filter or censor their words and actions.

Visual communication

Visual communication is through expressions and movements. Sight is not necessary for visual communication to occur, because it can be felt through touch and sound. Visual communication is often more direct than spoken communication. Children who have not been repressed visually communicate their truth until the point where societal training overrides their faith in their own judgment.

Visual communication is often more powerful than spoken communication, because it is usually more truthful.

Verbal communication

Of all the types of communications, verbal is the least reliable. It often contains manipulations, falsehoods, and assumptions. Societal training leads to these forced communication behaviors. People are trained to suppress their innate inclinations, so that they learn to talk about things that hold little meaning for them.

Verbal communication is a wonderful connector when it is used wisely. Words that are spoken with sincerity uplift the speaker, although they can be difficult to receive when the listener has an opposing conviction.

Communication within caste systems

Societal structure limits honest discourse. Societies with “caste” systems in social relationships, business structures, and civic management encourage verbal discourse that is guarded and condescending. In these structure arrangements, not all members of a “superior” group expect others to be guarded in their speech around them. This behavior is correct.

The message from spirit

Communication can be uplifting and positive when it is offered and received from a place of kindness. Even internal communication with the body can be kind.

Note: This information has been spiritually received.

EGC sessions with God: Annoying interactions

annoying family

People are programmed to be themselves. Each person has a pace at which he or she is comfortable, interests that are beckoning and fulfilling, abilities to do certain things with ease, and a definite sense of justice that is individualized. No two people are the same—not even identical twins.

With all the differences in pace, interests, abilities and sense of justice, people will naturally see the world differently. This division in behavior and personality carries the possibility for endless fascination about others. It also carries the possibility for endless opportunities to be annoyed. Seeing others as fascinating or annoying is a choice.

Within families, opportunities for amazement and fascination abound. Unfortunately, many people don’t recognize these opportunities and become annoyed and want their family members to be like them.

The mother whose pace is quick expects her children to be quick too, but they might have been soulfully given slower paces. If she doesn’t recognize their different paces as acceptable, she will be annoyed and push them to be different. Depending on her insistence, her children can become anxious to please her while being unable to keep her pace or overcompensate and lose touch with their true natures. They, in turn, may become annoyed at slow people, when in actuality, they themselves are naturally slower in actions.

The father, who is fascinated by competition and thrives in competitive work environments and competitions, could be annoyed at his wife and children if their natures do not embrace competition. He can push them to be like him, and push them away or cause them to be anxious or overly competitive. His annoyance will influence their opinions of themselves and of others.

Expecting people to be like you is an unrealistic expectation. It sets you up to be constantly annoyed, and if you have influence over others, it sets them up to be constantly annoyed at you or at themselves or at others. For people who choose to be annoyed, interactions will be constantly annoying, and daily life will be filled with unhappiness and disappointment.

God pushed me to write about this topic, because annoyance is wasted energy that creates negativity and destruction.

Our world deserves better. The more we accept each other’s differences, the more we create balance and peacefulness.

ECG sessions with God: Is state-sponsored killing (capital punishment) good for the citizens?

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Today’s issue is addressed in the book “Descending into War, Descending into Contempt”. Here is God’s wisdom about capital punishment:

Capital punishment is a payment that should never be extracted. No matter what another person did, capital punishment is not for people to use. Death that is deliberately meted out is improper for people to do. It creates imbalance in the people who cause it to happen—in the judges, in the juries, in the officials overseeing the event, and in the general populace.

Capital punishment has emotional side effects for the people who administer it, not for the people who receive it. Yes, those who die because of capital punishment have fears and other emotions. The side effects they don’t feel are indifference, hardening, and stonyheartedness. Yes, they may have been indifferent, hardened or stonyhearted, which allowed them to commit offenses deemed worthy of death, but their mental state before execution contracts.

The feelings of the people who participate in government-sanctioned executions, from the people who administer the deaths to the people who voted for its use, are indifferent to the enormity of purposefully administered death, are hardened to changes that have happened to them because of their indifference, and have become stonyhearted—desensitized, remorseless, and indurate [physically and morally hardened]. The full extent of capital punishment effects are not understood, but they are wide and rippling.

Judging others is appropriate. Confining some who cannot control their misanthropic behavior is prudent. Insisting upon restitution is instructional. Bringing society towards helping the offenders before they hurt others is wise. Allowing capital punishment is misguided.

 

EGC sessions with God: Refugees

welcoming refugees

The issue of refugees is on people’s minds. Here’s what God has to say about refugees:

Moving from one place to another is a difficult transition. Moving by choice is filled with emotions of apprehension, sorrow, and hope. Moving under duress is sometimes frightening and often debilitating.

When the duress is expected, moving can be like moving by choice: filled with emotions of apprehension, sorrow, and hope. When the duress is sudden—caused by natural changes (like floods and earthquakes) or caused by other people—the force of the event forever affects the people who must move on, and these people require sympathy from others to adjust to their new reality.

A refugee is a person who has lost connection with family or societal identity. Even a person who chooses to move to a new area or country can be filled with anxiety and fear, like the anxiety and fear felt by a person who moves under duress. What matters is how they are received in their new places of residence.

Refugees deserve to be welcomed to their new places of residence, even if the places are temporary. People are people no matter their characteristics, and both sides—the refugees and the settled people—deserve kindness. Refugees must release deeply held attitudes and customs. Settled people must willingly offer assistance and guidance with the ways of their society, without being superior or condescending. The process of accepting one another is steeped in willingness to learn and accept.

Refugees are natural results of the changing world. Their lives are equal. No one is better than them.

Investing for a rainy day, the good and bad news

This blog post is not about investing money. It is about investing in what’s around you—in friendships, in committed relationships, in neighborly relations, in family, and in the community. Investing in these important relationships is investing for a rainy day at its best!

Good News: Investing in family, friends and community builds a safety net

“Investing in friendships and giving and taking from friends is nourishing. Investing in relationships is natural and is needed to live a balanced life. Investing in family—children, children’s children, siblings, cousins, and so on builds a network of support that is reliable. Investing in communal activities builds a network of support that nourishes and strengthens the individual community members and the collective group.”… from “Oneself—Living”.

Investing time is necessary in order to build a safety net for when life becomes difficult or too hard to bear alone. Often, people put work obligations before obligations to family, friends, and community. This behavior has become acceptable in society, but it is short-sighted. The more a person gives to the relationships that truly matter, the more protection from the surprises that occur in life. Of course, a person must perform work obligations with an enthusiastic spirit and with focus, but work obligations should be one section of life, not all of life.

 Good News: Investing in family, friends and community supports good health

The more people invest in their relationships and community, the more balanced their health. Time spent with people who are meaningful creates memories that enrich beyond the moments in which they occurred. Positive memories are better, but even negative memories create experiences that build and nurture if the negative experiences are within the realm of realistic disagreeable treatment. In other words, interactions with family members, friends, and community acquaintances do not always have to be positive for the investment to be worthwhile. Learning to negotiate the varying needs of the various people is balancing.

Tip:

Choose a community betterment activity that excites you so you’ll want to participate. If you enjoy the arts, volunteer at a museum or in an enhancing-the-neighborhood project. If you prefer working on your own, volunteer with community building or cleaning projects. There are enough volunteer opportunities to suit all personalities.

 Bad News: Not investing is unwise

“Non-investment in relationships with others leads to loneliness, sadness, aloofness, insensitivity, and unsureness. Non-investment in friendship—foolish. Non-investment in marriage—incorrect behavior. Non-investment in intrafamilial connections—mistake. Non-investment in neighborly relations—short-sighted. Non-investment in societal obligations—selfish thinking.”… from “Oneself—Living”.

The less people invest in their relationships and community, the less balanced their health. Simple as that.

Conclusion

Investing for a rainy day means being prepared for whatever may come. Rain is not negative, but it can cause a change in plans. The same is true for changes in health, family structure (through births, deaths, divorce, etc.), and societal balance. Being prepared means planning ahead—making sure to invest in the connections that truly matter.

To purchase the book Oneself-Living, click on the book cover: 

Individual:Group:Self-Reflection

People see. They see what others are doing and do the same—or  not. What they observe in others causes them to adjust their own behavior. People are always adjusting, and self-reflection is the vehicle to the adjusting.

Self-reflection has several meanings. It means seeing an image of oneself in others. It means reflecting back to others their humanness. Reflecting back and forth actions, ideas, and emotions, sometimes with thoughtful reflection and sometimes just reflection.

People are individuals, but group members too, and they reflect on themselves varyingly. The varying self-reflection is dependent upon age, society, and awareness of the soul.

Self-reflection of children

People start life through exploration of themselves and their close companions. The sense of self—one’s boundaries and one’s impact on the environment and others—thoroughly entrances and busies the infant, and leads to understanding of self and others. As the infant gains awareness of caregivers, unknown people, and animals, self-reflection begins. Comparing oneself to others, as a tool to learning how to be, is natural development. When the behavior of others is admirable, the child learns to depend on others, to desire their company, and to identify with them.

Self-reflection of sufferers

When the behavior of others is unkind, indifferent, or impatient, children’s development is affected. They lose their desire to connect with others when the negative reflections are internalized. Children naturally reflect what they learn from their caregivers, except when childlike wonder and happiness prevail. Caregivers who are difficult influence opinions of self and of the community. Close companions negatively influence when they model unkind behavior. Community members and other people negatively influence when they model unkind and unaccepting behavior.

Each person is a reflection of others’ behavior so that the suffering of one reflects over and over as others internalize and reflect the suffering back.

Relationship reflectors

Relationship reflectors are the people in a relationship. People are highly influenced by lovers, close friends, and siblings. They continuously serve-return-volley to one another when the relationship is close. Relationships nurture and balance, and they are required for well-being.

True Reflection

Each person has a soul that provides a personality, likes and dislikes, emotional reactions, and connection to energy from beyond. When the soul is able to influence actions, the person is reflecting soulful definitions.

Living that is true to oneself is self-reflection realized. Living that is true to oneself is expected. Living one’s capabilities and gifts, as an individual and as part of the group, sustains. Individual:group:self-reflection—the meeting point for the soul!

Built to feel superior, internally and by others

Superiority is a learned behavior.

A child is self-interested, because he has his own concerns that consume his attention. This behavior is inborn. The child focuses on himself, not from a sense of superiority, but from the need to survive.

The child encounters others with curiosity, joy, and fear. When a caregiver over-elevates the child’s sense of himself, encounters with others have lessened curiosity, joy, and fear and more expectations of subservience (by the others).

Internal sense of superiority develops from a young age and can be based on gender, race, physical appearance, and attitude. Later comes superiority based on social standing, intelligence, and financial status. Subservient behavior by others and athletic prowess can increase the sense of superiority.

Feeling superior can be intricate, based on all the causes set out above, or it can be single-cause—no matter, the sense of superiority is there. It affects all relationships and all interactions.

Societal sense of superiority, like individual sense of superiority, is learned. The entire society can feel superior, as in an overinflated opinion of race or nationality or it can be bestowed upon members of society who are treated “better” because of gender, physical appearance, financial power, athletic prowess, and other factors (like fashion sense or musical/artistic abilities).

Superiority infuses society with discontent and entitlement. Superiority brings envy and distancing. Each individual builds the societal sense of superiority with internal feelings of being better than or by accepting the societal definitions of superior race or gender or subservient expectations.

Superiority is a learned behavior. It is not innate.

Not all people feel superior nor do they accept societal divisions of superiority. These people are living in a constructive and balanced way. Their example is worth following.

This message is from Spirit. If you act superior to others, your behavior is wrong. Accept differences and release arrogance.

Spirit gives more wisdom about harmful superiority thinking in these posts:

Are men or women superior? Neither!

The focus of recent blog posts has been on the sense of superiority. Today’s post contests superiority by virtue of a chromosomal setting.

The setting for sexual existence—as a male or as a female—determines gender but does not bestow superiority. Gender superiority galvanizes unnaturally through bewildered understanding of males by females and of females by males.

Unnatural is the word to describe superiority based on gender, because there should be no superiority based on gender. Acceptance of the other is the natural rhythm. Building ideas about the other gender that creates superiority actions and treatment stops the natural rhythm of acceptance.

Males and females are equally important and feelings of superiority by either sex are mistaken. Differences exist, but they are irrelevant in nature.

This message is from Spirit. If you act superior to the other sex because you think your gender is more gifted, you are wrong. Accept the differences and release arrogance.

Spirit gives more wisdom about harmful superiority thinking in these posts:

Releasing the Undeserved Sense of Superiority

Yesterday’s post, Undeserved Superiority, yells at us to acknowledge our feelings of superiority over others and to then stop! Stop thinking we’re better than someone else because of our social standing or our religion or our race (among other things that make us feel superior).

I stopped and looked at my own upbringing and my own undeserved sense of superiority over some others and I was shocked at myself. My sense of better-than-some-others needs my acknowledgment and my work to release it. I know it won’t be easy, but I realize my thinking makes me an unempathetic person and I want to change. This look at myself reminds me of an experience I had three years ago when I was visiting in Los Angeles. I share that blog post now as a reminder to myself and to others about how our upbringing can lift or lower us, but that we are all similar. Here is the post from March 27, 2014:

Life is struggle: meeting with people unknown

  • Unwanted, unacknowledged, untended, underfed, unappreciated, unloved, unnoticed, undervalued, undone. The life of the drunk man who sneaked on the bus today and sat by me.
  • Wanted, acknowledged, tended, fed, appreciated, loved, noticed, valued, empowered. My life.

I was riding on an L.A. Metro bus waiting for my soon-to-arrive stop, when the bus stopped to let people off and he sneaked in from the back door and sat next to me. His breath reeked of alcohol, he was dirty, and he was hoping to avoid the notice of the bus driver. He was hopeful that I would not make a fuss, because his day had been one more difficult day in the accumulating number of difficult days that are his life. He didn’t really choose me; I was simply sitting in a convenient place for him to slide in.

I told him that I was about to get off so he shouldn’t sit there, but he ignored me. He spoke somewhat incoherently and I didn’t understand what he said. I told him he hadn’t paid and he started to panic and began talking about how he lives in the Hollywood Hills and is very rich, and the alcohol smell was strong. I felt very uncomfortable and decided to change the subject because he seemed agitated and was moving closer. I talked about the unseasonable rain in L.A. that morning and he was distracted. He realized I wasn’t going to say anything to the bus driver so he became chatty. But then he asked me my name, gave me his, tried to take my hand, really reeked of alcohol.

I was unsure what to do but then we reached my stop, and I told him to press the button for me because we had arrived at my stop. He moved and I pressed the button and asked him to let me out. I was unsure—afraid he might get off and follow me, unsure whether to just go out the back door or go to the front and notify the bus driver, unprepared for this situation. He turned slightly in his seat barely giving me room to get by. I grabbed my things close, forgot my scarf, and exited the bus from the back. He didn’t follow. I felt relieved, noticed my forgotten scarf, walked the wrong way and then corrected my direction.

And what about him? He felt gratitude towards me that I had remained silent, sat quietly for the rest of the trip, got off at his stop to continue his usual existence.

The message from Spirit: Two hearts beating a little too fast. Two lives being lived—one with acceptance, the other with rejection. Both equal.

Spirit is sharing wisdom about  feelings of superiority:

What People Want

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  • To be acknowledged
  • To have someone that gives love
  • To give love in return
  • To feel needed
  • To belong
  • To be recognized for abilities and efforts
  • To invest efforts in living

Security is also wanted, but not by all. Fame inspires some, but its call is quiet for most. Challenge beyond abilities appeals to a few, and it provides satisfaction and regrets. Camaraderie in experiences and memories appeals to most.

Long life is thought to be wanted by all, but many prefer significance to long existence. Significance can come from dedication to a cause or achievement that brings a feeling of completion.

Besides long life, money is thought to be wanted by all. Ownership, a result of money spent, invites those who want it, but not those who seek freedom from things. The feelings of power that come from money are appealing to many, but not to all. Money is important, yet it is less important than other desires.

Connection!
Connection to others and connection to the world around hold the real wants of all people. Being part of and being needed.

Connection offers true satisfaction in life!

Noticing the Wait Staff

waitress-clipart-waitress

Spoiled. That’s how we feel when we are waited upon. Someone to hear what we want. Someone taking orders.

Our needs receive precedence, If only for a moment. What we want to eat or drink or buy. The way we like. And they hear us.

We focus on ourselves and they help us feel important. Feel special.

The wait staff has weight of the business on their backs. They represent the business and they ignore themselves. Their identities are intertwined with the success of the business, and the business uses them.

Noticing the wait staff requires empathy. We, as the customers, can be interested in ourselves and notice the wait staff by giving empathy to ourselves and to them. Acknowledgement enough for their existence as our “hosts” and as individuals with lives apart from the business. Acknowledgement enough for ourselves and our responsibilities.

Businesses require subservience of its workers and dismissal of their struggles. But we can see the workers as equals, interact with kindness, order with a smile.

The customers lift daily duties from meaningless to purposeful for the wait staff—and the vibrations of balance in the world deepen.

Animal Awareness: Recognition and Conflict in People

Oblio-post3Dogs recognize dogs that are from their lineage. They recognize them through scent and corresponding stimulation of taste sensors. Dogs from the same lineage will form packs if they are allowed freedom. The pack will provide protection and sustenance to its members. The pack will fight dogs from other lineages and animals that threaten the pack. The pack is “family”.

buffalo

Buffaloes group by blood ties. They recognize connection through scent and corresponding stimulation of nerve receptors in the nasal cavity. A herd of buffaloes will contain grandparents, parents, and children, if they are allowed to live in freedom. The herd will link to other buffalo herds to search for food together, but they huddle in their family groups when natural disasters prevent escape.

friendships

People differ from other animals because their brains allow them to defy natural inclination to protect and group within the biological family. Like buffaloes, people naturally group by blood ties. Like dogs, people recognize lineage. Unlike buffaloes and dogs, people can adapt to live with very different people.

People can overlook the natural tendency to choose sameness and can choose “other” instead. The ability to adapt to general human behaviors enables adaptation to different cultures, traditions, and views. The ability to adapt to other people’s customs and ideas should enable understanding and acceptance of all people, rather than racism and fear.

The desire for ownership is the cause of human conflict. Wanting someone else’s land or possessions or abilities leads to arguments and ruthlessness and wars. Wanting someone else’s partner leads to manipulation and to regrets. Wanting someone else’s reality leads to wrong choices and conflicts.

The desire for ownership will be explored in the seventh book in the Existence-Me Elevated Living book series: Descending into War, Descending into Contempt.

The Friendship Drift

clouds

Clouds float in the sky, each with its course and oscillation. The clouds float on their own courses, but join and separate when their courses intersect or diverge. The joining can be fleeting or it can last until the clouds are no more. The separating can be complete, with each cloud retaining its original form and content, or it can be wrenching, with one or both of the clouds pulling at the other’s shape and taking part away with it. Clouds can join in groups, staying together until they are no more, or separating singly or in groups, with each separation having retention or taking away. Clouds have purpose, and as they float they perform their individual tasks. When joined, they sometimes perform together or change their purposes. Clouds have interesting aspects.

Friendship has interesting aspects. Friends each have their path and equivocation. They build their lives along their own paths, but join and separate when circumstances bring them together or separate them. The joining can be short-lived or can last a lifetime. Separation can be final, with each person staying on his or her path, or the movement away from one another can bring pain or remembrances of joy. Friendships can be between two or among many, existing until circumstances bring separation, with some friendships remaining and some dissolving. Each person in a friendship has purpose, and the friends maintain their individual purposes as they experience life together.  Their togetherness has mutual influence, and the friends sometimes change their purposes from influence of a friend. Yes, friendship has interesting aspects.

Friends made during childhood can last a lifetime, but holding on to childhood friendships when they no longer bring comfort is disheartening and senseless. Friendships developed through work or proximity are worth developing for the comfort they bring at the time. Building new friendships throughout one’s life is wisdom performed. The joining of people into groups of friends is wise as well.

Clouds and friends, drifting along in joined companionship.

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