A Balanced Approach to Wellness

Posts tagged ‘acceptance’

Politically Correct

Making fun of people is MEAN. It’s not a question of politically correct or not—it’s just MEAN. It has always been WRONG!

The damage from ridicule is usually hidden, but it is LARGE. It hurts the feelings and hurts the heart, literally. Hidden pain can cause generational harm—that’s how LARGE the damage is.

Making fun of people who are unknown to us or are famous is the same—it’s all MEAN. Being well-known doesn’t change a person’s sensitivity and doesn’t lessen the harm. People who think it’s fine to ridicule well-known people are WRONG—it’s damaging to their own well-being even more than to the people they ridicule.

Hurt feelings from being ridiculed can lead to compromised judgment and to destructive actions. Saying hurtful jokes or opinions about others can lead to self-chastisement and to shame which lower health. Both sides of the ridicule suffer, with each side harmed differently in physical and emotional ways.

Making fun of people is BELITTLING. It has never been right; it has always been WRONG. Reverberations from ridicule compromise whole societies and multiple generations. The effects are incredibly DESTRUCTIVE!

Being politically correct is not the answer. Being generous of spirit is.

The heart heals and the emotions balance when acceptance of others leads the way!

Releasing the Undeserved Sense of Superiority

Yesterday’s post, Undeserved Superiority, yells at us to acknowledge our feelings of superiority over others and to then stop! Stop thinking we’re better than someone else because of our social standing or our religion or our race (among other things that make us feel superior).

I stopped and looked at my own upbringing and my own undeserved sense of superiority over some others and I was shocked at myself. My sense of better-than-some-others needs my acknowledgment and my work to release it. I know it won’t be easy, but I realize my thinking makes me an unempathetic person and I want to change. This look at myself reminds me of an experience I had three years ago when I was visiting in Los Angeles. I share that blog post now as a reminder to myself and to others about how our upbringing can lift or lower us, but that we are all similar. Here is the post from March 27, 2014:

Life is struggle: meeting with people unknown

  • Unwanted, unacknowledged, untended, underfed, unappreciated, unloved, unnoticed, undervalued, undone. The life of the drunk man who sneaked on the bus today and sat by me.
  • Wanted, acknowledged, tended, fed, appreciated, loved, noticed, valued, empowered. My life.

I was riding on an L.A. Metro bus waiting for my soon-to-arrive stop, when the bus stopped to let people off and he sneaked in from the back door and sat next to me. His breath reeked of alcohol, he was dirty, and he was hoping to avoid the notice of the bus driver. He was hopeful that I would not make a fuss, because his day had been one more difficult day in the accumulating number of difficult days that are his life. He didn’t really choose me; I was simply sitting in a convenient place for him to slide in.

I told him that I was about to get off so he shouldn’t sit there, but he ignored me. He spoke somewhat incoherently and I didn’t understand what he said. I told him he hadn’t paid and he started to panic and began talking about how he lives in the Hollywood Hills and is very rich, and the alcohol smell was strong. I felt very uncomfortable and decided to change the subject because he seemed agitated and was moving closer. I talked about the unseasonable rain in L.A. that morning and he was distracted. He realized I wasn’t going to say anything to the bus driver so he became chatty. But then he asked me my name, gave me his, tried to take my hand, really reeked of alcohol.

I was unsure what to do but then we reached my stop, and I told him to press the button for me because we had arrived at my stop. He moved and I pressed the button and asked him to let me out. I was unsure—afraid he might get off and follow me, unsure whether to just go out the back door or go to the front and notify the bus driver, unprepared for this situation. He turned slightly in his seat barely giving me room to get by. I grabbed my things close, forgot my scarf, and exited the bus from the back. He didn’t follow. I felt relieved, noticed my forgotten scarf, walked the wrong way and then corrected my direction.

And what about him? He felt gratitude towards me that I had remained silent, sat quietly for the rest of the trip, got off at his stop to continue his usual existence.

The message from Spirit: Two hearts beating a little too fast. Two lives being lived—one with acceptance, the other with rejection. Both equal.

Spirit is sharing wisdom about  feelings of superiority:

Animal Awareness: Recognition and Conflict in People

Oblio-post3Dogs recognize dogs that are from their lineage. They recognize them through scent and corresponding stimulation of taste sensors. Dogs from the same lineage will form packs if they are allowed freedom. The pack will provide protection and sustenance to its members. The pack will fight dogs from other lineages and animals that threaten the pack. The pack is “family”.

buffalo

Buffaloes group by blood ties. They recognize connection through scent and corresponding stimulation of nerve receptors in the nasal cavity. A herd of buffaloes will contain grandparents, parents, and children, if they are allowed to live in freedom. The herd will link to other buffalo herds to search for food together, but they huddle in their family groups when natural disasters prevent escape.

friendships

People differ from other animals because their brains allow them to defy natural inclination to protect and group within the biological family. Like buffaloes, people naturally group by blood ties. Like dogs, people recognize lineage. Unlike buffaloes and dogs, people can adapt to live with very different people.

People can overlook the natural tendency to choose sameness and can choose “other” instead. The ability to adapt to general human behaviors enables adaptation to different cultures, traditions, and views. The ability to adapt to other people’s customs and ideas should enable understanding and acceptance of all people, rather than racism and fear.

The desire for ownership is the cause of human conflict. Wanting someone else’s land or possessions or abilities leads to arguments and ruthlessness and wars. Wanting someone else’s partner leads to manipulation and to regrets. Wanting someone else’s reality leads to wrong choices and conflicts.

The desire for ownership will be explored in the seventh book in the Existence-Me Elevated Living book series: Descending into War, Descending into Contempt.

Life is struggle: meeting with people unknown

 

Post 111 Life is struggle

Unwanted, unacknowledged, untended, underfed, unappreciated, unloved, unnoticed, undervalued, undone. The life of the drunk man who sneaked on the bus today and sat by me.

Wanted, acknowledged, tended, fed, appreciated, loved, noticed, valued, empowered. My life.

I was riding on an L.A. Metro bus waiting for my soon-to-arrive stop, when the bus stopped to let people off and he sneaked in from the back door and sat next to me. His breath reeked of alcohol, he was dirty, and he was hoping to avoid the notice of the bus driver. He was hopeful that I would not make a fuss, because his day had been one more difficult day in the accumulating number of difficult days that are his life. He didn’t really choose me; I was simply sitting in a convenient place for him to slide in.

I told him that I was about to get off so he shouldn’t sit there, but he ignored me. He spoke somewhat incoherently and I didn’t understand what he said. I told him he hadn’t paid and he started to panic and began talking about how he lives in the Hollywood Hills and is very rich, and the alcohol smell was strong. I felt very uncomfortable and decided to change the subject because he seemed agitated and was moving closer. I talked about the unseasonable rain in L.A. that morning and he was distracted. He realized I wasn’t going to say anything to the bus driver so he became chatty. But then he asked me my name, gave me his, tried to take my hand, really reeked of alcohol.

I was unsure what to do but then we reached my stop, and I told him to press the button for me because we had arrived at my stop. He moved and I pressed the button and asked him to let me out. I was unsure—afraid he might get off and follow me, unsure whether to just go out the back door or go to the front and notify the bus driver, unprepared for this situation. He turned slightly in his seat barely giving me room to get by. I grabbed my things close, forgot my scarf, and exited the bus from the back. He didn’t follow. I felt relieved, noticed my forgotten scarf, walked the wrong way and then corrected my direction.

And what about him? He felt gratitude towards me that I had remained silent, sat quietly for the rest of the trip, got off at his stop to continue his usual existence.

Two hearts beating a little too fast. Two lives being lived—one with acceptance, the other with rejection. Both equal.

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