A Balanced Approach to Wellness

Archive for the ‘Conflict’ Category

The Haters

HashtagHate

Some people look at others and their achievements with jealousy and superiority in their thoughts. These failure-wishers write disparaging comments on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media. Rather than focus on themselves and their own achievements, they choose to undercut the leaders, the risk takers, and the visionaries.

The haters feel they have a right to deride and they often do it with great enthusiasm. The result is to hurt the enthusiasm and drive of the achievers.

Spirit wants me to be very clear about the haters:

The haters dislike themselves and pass their self-loathing onto others. The haters do not have a “right” to spew hatred. They also do not have a “right” to be cruel.

Haters strive to hurt. They should strive to develop themselves instead.

Haters should not be supported.  They should be ignored and their words should be considered as worthless.

Animal Awareness: Recognition and Conflict in People

Oblio-post3Dogs recognize dogs that are from their lineage. They recognize them through scent and corresponding stimulation of taste sensors. Dogs from the same lineage will form packs if they are allowed freedom. The pack will provide protection and sustenance to its members. The pack will fight dogs from other lineages and animals that threaten the pack. The pack is “family”.

buffalo

Buffaloes group by blood ties. They recognize connection through scent and corresponding stimulation of nerve receptors in the nasal cavity. A herd of buffaloes will contain grandparents, parents, and children, if they are allowed to live in freedom. The herd will link to other buffalo herds to search for food together, but they huddle in their family groups when natural disasters prevent escape.

friendships

People differ from other animals because their brains allow them to defy natural inclination to protect and group within the biological family. Like buffaloes, people naturally group by blood ties. Like dogs, people recognize lineage. Unlike buffaloes and dogs, people can adapt to live with very different people.

People can overlook the natural tendency to choose sameness and can choose “other” instead. The ability to adapt to general human behaviors enables adaptation to different cultures, traditions, and views. The ability to adapt to other people’s customs and ideas should enable understanding and acceptance of all people, rather than racism and fear.

The desire for ownership is the cause of human conflict. Wanting someone else’s land or possessions or abilities leads to arguments and ruthlessness and wars. Wanting someone else’s partner leads to manipulation and to regrets. Wanting someone else’s reality leads to wrong choices and conflicts.

The desire for ownership will be explored in the seventh book in the Existence-Me Elevated Living book series: Descending into War, Descending into Contempt.

What a dream can tell

Dream-ava

Print by Ava Carmel

My friend Ava Carmel, dreamer of universal dreams, shared a dream this evening at our dance class. This was her dream:

Ava was in a place outside with seven other people, and they were standing around in a loose circle. One of the men slowly walked towards a place that was full of mud and stepped into it. The mud gradually pulled him in until his body could no longer be seen. The other people were watching the entire time. The man then emerged from the mud and his movements were very violent. He approached another man and fought with him. Ava walked to him and embraced him in a warm hug, feeling the mud on his body. The man stopped struggling. She walked with him to a room filled with beautiful frescos. She became mesmerized by the frescos and as she was looking at them, she noticed that the man had gone to the other side of the room and was urinating on the floor. The dream ended!

A universal dream can present wisdom at many levels. I asked Spiritual Presence for the main message of this dream. Here is the answer:

The man walked towards the mud with all the people watching and none of them said anything to stop him. As the mud was pulling him down, none of the people came to help him. The mud pulled him down, down, down, but he managed to pull himself out. He became a changed man, angry at the people who watched his descent and did nothing.

This message comes to remind us that when we see a person moving on a downwards tilt, we must try to help. We must not stand idly by. Even if the person ignores us, we must try to help. We might not succeed, but we should try. This message applies to people we know and people we don’t know. We can’t help everyone, but we should do the best we can and not stand idly by. Not stand idly by!

In the dance class, the other woman saw many meanings in the dream. A universal dream can present a different message to each person who hears it.

There are many messages in Ava’s dream. Most of all, remember to not stand idly by.

When ferocity is displayed by misled people

Ferocity

These days the headlines scream terror. Many people doing many bad things to victims of bad timing, being there by happenstance, disliked group affiliation, or suspicious lifestyles. Ferocity is an innate quality in people—in all people, but it is usually contained. When ferocity is allowed to take hold, the results are often tragic.

Unkindness is not an innate quality; it is learned. Children learn it from caregivers and people who affect their lives when they are young. Unkindness is doused on others, and it drenches but does not pass into the behavior, unless the unkindness is consistently administered or is traumatically experienced. Unkindness that has become part of a person opens the person to release ferocity.

Uncontrollable hatred is also not an innate quality, but it is felt when it has been experienced or when it is lived by example. In other words, children who experience uncontrollable hatred directed at them may internalize it and use it against themselves or others, or children who see and hear demonstrations of uncontrollable hatred towards other people may unconsciously digest the hatred towards others and display it in the future. When uncontrollable hatred is felt and unkindness has been learned, ferocity develops.

Throughout history, people have viciously hurt other people. The cycle of ferocity does not change because people continue to teach unkindness and hatred. Ferocity can be controlled, but it requires conviction, understanding, declaration (public statements), patience, vigilance, kindness, and action by participants and sideliners so that the ferocity remains inactive. Conviction is the solution to ferocity—conviction that ferocity can be controlled and neutralized.

Tragedy does not have to be the norm.

When sadness hits (reposting)

Post 78-Sadness

Sometimes terrible things happen to people. Sometimes young people have serious illnesses that disfigure or damage them. Or weaken them so they die too young. Sometimes natural disasters befall people and they are left homeless, hurt, or confused.  Or orphaned. Sometimes people hurt other people—intentionally or not—so that trauma or death results. Sometimes people damage themselves—intentionally or not.

In all these cases, the survivors and caregivers are required to continue on and live. Not an easy task. Caregivers suffer daily, both physically and emotionally. Survivors suffer too, although differently and in varying degrees of despair, guilt, and shock. Both are in need of support, kindness, and openness to their pain. In other words, a survivor or caregiver needs a quiet  audience (meaning the listeners are quiet) for them to bare their sadness. If the audience is not quiet, the sadness might not dissipate. Quiet and constancy are the qualities of people who are helpful to those who need to give way to the effects of their sadness.

When sadness hits because of the natural order of life (a parent dies in old age), the survivors also require the same quiet and constancy. Sadness is sadness no matter the cause, although extra understanding should be given to the survivors of tragedies.

The person who has suffered the trauma (but not death) needs even more constancy and support. This person must eventually release the hold of the trauma. As described in the book Oneself-Living :

“Negative remembrances require determination and desire to purge them. Negative remembrances that are traumatic are often too difficult to release with-out continuous and relegate-to-a-less-prominent-place focus. Although traumatic events damage the connection to self and the sense of security, a person can remove the vicious side of a trauma so that a normal life can be led. Leading a normal life means focusing on the tasks that are done each day to sustain life: intake of food and water, sleep, interaction with others, and appreciation of the natural environment. Holding on to the tainted memory(ies), or holding back because of self-manufactured fear, prevents purging of the trauma of the event. The trauma must be released.”

Sometimes, terrible things happen to people. Terrible things also happen to the animals that inhabit the Earth. Terrible things happen. Can something be done? Towards the animals, much can be done. Towards people, less can be done. Towards animals, much painful treatment are day-to-day practices that people do to animals for food, clothing, and decorative items. Becoming aware of what is done to animals is the right thing to do. In general, people have less control over the tragedies that happen to people. Nonetheless, awareness of wrongful treatment of people should bring action from people who can affect change.

Sadness is sadness, no matter the cause. Releasing sadness can be done—with patience, with kindness, and with readiness.

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