A Balanced Approach to Wellness!

Posts tagged ‘people’

Unmistakably positive quirkiness


People are positively quirky!

Each person develops an individual way of fathoming the world and of relating to others. No two people are the same, even if they look alike or they like similar things. The quirkiness lies in the depths of the personality and in the soul. No two souls are the same, and the differences manifest in words and actions.

Quirkiness is the word to describe people. The funny faces, unconventional comments, artistic individuality, musical expressions, unusual habits, and movements when unobserved are typical quirky people actions.

Quirkiness celebrates the reality of people. People are naturally quirky and that’s a positive reality of people!

Investing for a rainy day, the good and bad news

This blog post is not about investing money. It is about investing in what’s around you—in friendships, in committed relationships, in neighborly relations, in family, and in the community. Investing in these important relationships is investing for a rainy day at its best!

Good News: Investing in family, friends and community builds a safety net

“Investing in friendships and giving and taking from friends is nourishing. Investing in relationships is natural and is needed to live a balanced life. Investing in family—children, children’s children, siblings, cousins, and so on builds a network of support that is reliable. Investing in communal activities builds a network of support that nourishes and strengthens the individual community members and the collective group.”… from “Oneself—Living”.

Investing time is necessary in order to build a safety net for when life becomes difficult or too hard to bear alone. Often, people put work obligations before obligations to family, friends, and community. This behavior has become acceptable in society, but it is short-sighted. The more a person gives to the relationships that truly matter, the more protection from the surprises that occur in life. Of course, a person must perform work obligations with an enthusiastic spirit and with focus, but work obligations should be one section of life, not all of life.

 Good News: Investing in family, friends and community supports good health

The more people invest in their relationships and community, the more balanced their health. Time spent with people who are meaningful creates memories that enrich beyond the moments in which they occurred. Positive memories are better, but even negative memories create experiences that build and nurture if the negative experiences are within the realm of realistic disagreeable treatment. In other words, interactions with family members, friends, and community acquaintances do not always have to be positive for the investment to be worthwhile. Learning to negotiate the varying needs of the various people is balancing.


Choose a community betterment activity that excites you so you’ll want to participate. If you enjoy the arts, volunteer at a museum or in an enhancing-the-neighborhood project. If you prefer working on your own, volunteer with community building or cleaning projects. There are enough volunteer opportunities to suit all personalities.

 Bad News: Not investing is unwise

“Non-investment in relationships with others leads to loneliness, sadness, aloofness, insensitivity, and unsureness. Non-investment in friendship—foolish. Non-investment in marriage—incorrect behavior. Non-investment in intrafamilial connections—mistake. Non-investment in neighborly relations—short-sighted. Non-investment in societal obligations—selfish thinking.”… from “Oneself—Living”.

The less people invest in their relationships and community, the less balanced their health. Simple as that.


Investing for a rainy day means being prepared for whatever may come. Rain is not negative, but it can cause a change in plans. The same is true for changes in health, family structure (through births, deaths, divorce, etc.), and societal balance. Being prepared means planning ahead—making sure to invest in the connections that truly matter.

To purchase the book Oneself-Living, click on the book cover: 

Superiority: negative sense of self

The last group of blog posts has focused on the negative aspects of the sense of superiority. Personally I have found these posts to be challenging, because I have had to confront my own prejudices and ingrained sense of superiority.

My actions have been influenced by my society’s treatment of me, but I had chosen to accept preferential treatment without questioning the justice of it. Preferential treatment has been habit-forming and I now have to choose to break the habit. Not so easy!

With superiority comes a sense of deservedness, and with the sense of deservedness comes the sense of expectation that others will serve, and with the sense of expectation that others will serve comes the expectation that authority will be recognized, and with the expectation that authority will be recognized comes the insecurity that undeservedness underpins authority, and this sense of insecurity pushes the drive for feeling superior. The core of superior sense of self is inferiority, a negative sense of self.

Looking over the possible reasons for feeling “superior”: nationality, financial security, gender, race, religion, social status, physical attributes, intellectual gifts, athletic prowess, and celebrity—the sense of superiority can feel inevitable. In actuality, it is a choice that can be rejected or embraced.

The sense of superiority is a negative sense of self that requires eradication. Letting go of the sense of superiority should be a societal priority that each person can pursue individually and as members of a just and caring society.

The various causes of superior sense of self are presented in these blog posts:

Undeserved Superiority

Here is an important message from Spirit.

Superiority is a strange phenomenon. All people are similar, and yet, there are some who consider themselves superior. These people believe that race membership, financial position, gender affiliation, nationality, and/or education entitle them to raised social status. Physical attractiveness, athletic prowess, and fashion taste are other factors in people acting superior.

Religious superiority is the most destructive belief of all. No religious group has closer connection to God than any other. No group!

The sense of superiority is distancing and it clouds judgment when interacting with others. The sense of superiority tarnishes dialogue and creates contempt. As people distance, misjudge, and condescend, they define a society that is uncaring and disconnected. Such a society cannot nurture its member or provide empathy.

Spirit is clear that a sense of superiority is wrong thinking about oneself and others.

There are a few exceptions when the superiority comes from care for the environment. Everyone who puts their own needs below their care for the environment deserves to feel good about their actions. Focusing on care for the environment has no connection to race, religion, gender, nationality, financial position, physical attractiveness, athletic prowess, or fashion taste.

Respect for the environment unites us all!

What People Want

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  • To be acknowledged
  • To have someone that gives love
  • To give love in return
  • To feel needed
  • To belong
  • To be recognized for abilities and efforts
  • To invest efforts in living

Security is also wanted, but not by all. Fame inspires some, but its call is quiet for most. Challenge beyond abilities appeals to a few, and it provides satisfaction and regrets. Camaraderie in experiences and memories appeals to most.

Long life is thought to be wanted by all, but many prefer significance to long existence. Significance can come from dedication to a cause or achievement that brings a feeling of completion.

Besides long life, money is thought to be wanted by all. Ownership, a result of money spent, invites those who want it, but not those who seek freedom from things. The feelings of power that come from money are appealing to many, but not to all. Money is important, yet it is less important than other desires.

Connection to others and connection to the world around hold the real wants of all people. Being part of and being needed.

Connection offers true satisfaction in life!

Connection, 3 of 3


People are suffering from flooding in one country. People are suffering from restrictive governmental policies in another country. Drought and food shortages create suffering in a different country. Armed conflict devastates people in other countries.

People are suffering throughout the world in different ways and in different circumstances. The suffering is connected in that the world reverberates with cries of the desperate and weak. Their cries might not be heard, but the tears swim in an ocean of anguish that flows into the lives of those who are not suffering.

The suffering alternates: sometimes these people and sometimes those people. The people who suffer less have joyful respite from difficulties, but their joy can be lessened by self-inflicted anguish.

When one person suffers, those around can uplift when possible. When whole groups of people suffer, the uplifting activities are harder to do because they require investment of resources and interest.

Connected anguish may be invisible, but it winds its way through the lives of all. Taking time to see the anguish is humanity bettered. Helping those nearby and those afar gives back to empathetic souls, because the ocean of anguish quiets. Connecting through empathy and awareness eases the times that are hard.

“Connection, 3 of 3” is the reminder to care.

See also “Connection, 1 of 3” and “Connection, 2 of 3

Connection, 1 of 3

Muslim and Jewish women

Last week, there was a gathering of women—Jewish women, Muslim women, and Christian women. This gathering took place in the north of Israel in an Arab village. The gathering was an opportunity to hear an Arab member of the Israeli Knesset (parliament) speak about her work for women’s rights.

I attended this gathering, together with friends from my community. There were women from cities and villages, some in traditional dress and some in tight jeans. The atmosphere was warm and inviting, and I felt welcomed.

The first speaker, a woman from the village, told us about her meaningful life advocating for women. She described her struggles in a patriarchal community—within her family and within the society—to reject a traditional role, and instead, build a place in society that gives her challenge and satisfaction. Her determination felt contagious and her words were inspirational.

Sharing a sense of sisterhood, we received her words. Some in the room face the same struggles, giving up or pushing forward. Some, like me, have freedom to choose our paths, held back only by self-imposed barriers. Connection was built that night through the shared space and receiving of emotions and inspiration.

Each opportunity to connect with unfamiliar is an opportunity to experience sameness and surprise. I received warmth from women who seem different from me and I returned it in kind. We experienced connection for a short time, and that connection can lead to familiarity, understanding, and acceptance.

Opening to others can open ourselves: opening through shared experiences and determination to connect.

“Connection, 1 of 3” is the first look at connection possibilities.

See also “Connection, 2 of 3” and “Connection, 3 of 3“.

Animal Awareness: Recognition and Conflict in People

Oblio-post3Dogs recognize dogs that are from their lineage. They recognize them through scent and corresponding stimulation of taste sensors. Dogs from the same lineage will form packs if they are allowed freedom. The pack will provide protection and sustenance to its members. The pack will fight dogs from other lineages and animals that threaten the pack. The pack is “family”.


Buffaloes group by blood ties. They recognize connection through scent and corresponding stimulation of nerve receptors in the nasal cavity. A herd of buffaloes will contain grandparents, parents, and children, if they are allowed to live in freedom. The herd will link to other buffalo herds to search for food together, but they huddle in their family groups when natural disasters prevent escape.


People differ from other animals because their brains allow them to defy natural inclination to protect and group within the biological family. Like buffaloes, people naturally group by blood ties. Like dogs, people recognize lineage. Unlike buffaloes and dogs, people can adapt to live with very different people.

People can overlook the natural tendency to choose sameness and can choose “other” instead. The ability to adapt to general human behaviors enables adaptation to different cultures, traditions, and views. The ability to adapt to other people’s customs and ideas should enable understanding and acceptance of all people, rather than racism and fear.

The desire for ownership is the cause of human conflict. Wanting someone else’s land or possessions or abilities leads to arguments and ruthlessness and wars. Wanting someone else’s partner leads to manipulation and to regrets. Wanting someone else’s reality leads to wrong choices and conflicts.

The desire for ownership will be explored in the seventh book in the Existence-Me Elevated Living book series: Descending into War, Descending into Contempt.

Compassion vs. Hostility


The next two blog posts will present these two different approaches:  compassion and hostility. Each approach has its supporters. Each approach has its repercussions.

See which approach suits your viewpoint and your actions.

Meeting Compassionately


A couple (man and woman) are sitting in an outdoor café when a homeless woman approaches them asking for money. The man and woman had been deep in a conversation, and the interruption is jarring. The homeless woman wears tattered and slightly stained clothing and speaks with a stutter.


The couple, who are intently engaged in conversation, initially ignore the homeless woman. When she again requests money in her stuttering voice, the woman thinks of her brother who stutters, and quietly asks her partner if he has any spare change. He has none, and says to the homeless woman “I’m sorry. I don’t carry change.” The woman opens her purse to check, takes out a few coins, and hands them to the homeless woman, who receives the money without reaction. The homeless woman continues on her way; the couple returns to their conversion; the woman quietly reminds herself to call her brother; the man looks intently at his partner, marveling at her kindness.

Meeting Compassionately

Compassionately approaching, the preferred approach, relieves tension, balances health, is a sustaining activity. Compassion brings closeness, healing, movement towards, and loving relationships. Compassion is preferred, is beckoning, is solution-centric, is catalytic, is generally better. To meet another with compassionate feelings—WISE, NOURISHING, ADVOCATED. COMFORTING.

The Choice

To choose positivity over negativity is usually more of an effort. To choose to pick up and not walk by is a greater effort. To lend a hand and not relinquish assistance is more work. To volunteer and not accept mediocrity is the responsibility that is often left for others. The rewards for pitching in, helping out, lifting up are sometimes tangible, most often not. The true nature of people requires being part and being available.

Living with compassion and with understanding lends color to life, adds substance and texture to being, grants glimpses into beyond—even when negativity is in the fore. Sometimes, the forces that govern are overbearing and abusive; during these times, compassion and understanding are all the more.



This approach is from the book Oneself -Living–Possibilities, Quiet Treasures, Ways in the chapter “Part 2:  Meeting Compassionately”. The book can be purchased through amazon.com stores:

When society suffers from spiritual illness

imbalanceSpiritual illness can be felt at many levels. When society suffers from spiritual illness, the effects leave imprints on all the members. The individual members of society have varying amounts of damage depending on their own spiritual balance.

A society that suffers from spiritual illness exhibits any or all of the following symptoms:

  • Society members mistreat other members because of inflated sense of right.
  • Society members mistreat other members because of inflated sense of deservedness.
  • Society members mistreat other members because of inflated sense of self.
  • Laws unfairly advantage members who believe they deserve more.
  • Society members consider the feelings of buildings over the feelings of other living things.
  • Society members relinquish responsibility for their own actions.
  • Society members absolve themselves of responsibility for extending themselves.

When society suffers from spiritual illness, each member feels the effects, no matter their role in perpetuating the spiritual illness.

People to watch

(a re-view of the post “Sometimes the Least Boisterous Person is the True Star—The Dos & Dont’s of Notice”)


True attention deservers are the ones that take part, help out, and bring hope.
The others deserve less notice…

In a gathering, there usually are the people who stand out. They generate more buzz, they attract attention. There are the people who mill around the buzz-makers and there are the people who make the buzz in the background.

The background buzz-makers are the real ones to follow, but they often don’t make the fuss that generates the action. These people do acts of kindness, make others comfortable, fulfill the role of support provider, and consider the needs of society. These people understand that they are obligated: obligated to care for their families and their community and obligated to remember the needs of the environment and of the creatures that inhabit the Earth.

There are stand-out individuals who not only generate buzz in the limelight, but also fulfill their obligations in much-larger-than-self ways. They, and the less visible obligation-fulfillers, receive notice in the spiritual realm where one’s actions really matter.

This blog post provides the Dos and Dont’s of getting noticed for behavior deserving of notice.

DO:  Fill your time with sustaining activities

Here are a few examples of sustaining activities from Pond a Connected Existence:

“Spending time with loved ones! Playing with babies! Teaching children in the customs and traditions of one’s forebears! Singing! Dancing! Singing well! Singing flat! Artistic expression! Preparing healthful meals! Picnics!  Family gatherings! Gatherings of friends! Gatherings of people for life events—sad ones and happy ones!… Working with gusto! Working with integrity! Working in unison and working alone! Group activities that have a higher purpose! Group activities that bring enjoyment! Walking! Running! Jumping! Riding a bike! Riding a wave! Swimming! Moving for fun and moving for health! …”

DO: Take care of the environment

Taking care of the environment includes planting plants, trees, and flowers. It also includes not littering and not being wasteful with the Earth’s resources.

DO: Take part in activities that bring betterment to the community and to the less fortunate

No matter how busy you think you are, you are not too busy to help out with a volunteer organization in your area (unless you are attending to a terminally ill family member which is consuming all of your time).

DO: Smile, even when smiling feels forced

A smile lifts the spirits of those who see the smile and the one who wears the smile. As an experiment, sing a song while not smiling and then sing the song again while smiling. Smiling simply changes one’s mood and one’s influence on others.

DON’T: Smile at a person if you are thinking bad thoughts about them

A fake smile cannot necessarily be detected by others, but it is recorded in the spiritual realm. Pretending to be happy when someone makes you unhappy is the incorrect approach. If someone really affects you in a negative way, either try to limit exposure to this person or try to change the dynamic.

DON’T: Fill your time with non-sustaining activities

“Non-sustaining activities include small things like watching too much TV, playing too many computer games, eating junk food, complaining about inconveniences. Larger non-sustaining activities include things like participating in aggressive behavior towards other people, other creatures, or the environment; eating too much food; focusing on the lives of people who have no true relevance in one’s life (for instance, following the movements of a celebrity or keeping tabs on old love interests); pretending to like one’s job or partner or pastimes or this or that, when one is unhappy…” – “Pond a Connected Existence”.

DON’T: Say no when asked to help just because you want more free time

“Obligation to one’s community is much larger than many people think. Taking part in elections, taking part in cleaning up, taking part in communal rituals—these are the basic obligations on all. Beyond those acts, one should participate in bettering the community. ” – “Pond a Connected Existence”

Saying no when help is needed does not earn notice where it matters. If you are feeling too tired, rather than lessening your sustaining activities, examine your less sustaining activities and consider lessening them.

DON’T: Be wasteful

Appreciate what you have. Don’t be greedy with your desires. In general, people want more than they need so try to be reasonable in your usage of resources that are not easily replenishable.


The notice being discussed here is not notice by the people seeking excitement. It is notice in the spiritual realm that considers the actions of people and provides spiritual connection or not.

The more a person strives to bring balance to himself or herself and to the family, community, and neighboring environment, the more possibility of spiritual connection and guidance. Balance within and with all lead to life lived purposefully and with spiritual connection.

Connections = living that is correct


By design, people are meant to connect. They are meant to connect with other people and with their own needs, with the seasons and with the environment, with the animals who roam the earth, and with spiritual energy. Yes, that means each of us. Each of us, you and I, are designed and programmed to connect. Connection is built-in. Part of the people blueprint.

Although the connections are very different, they intertwine and inform one another. People are meant to depend on one another. They are designed to work in groups: to build together, to create communities, to help one another in times of difficulty, to find common purpose, and to help those entering and exiting life. People are meant to learn from the world around and to contribute to its betterment.

The natural world has its rhythms and cycles, cycles of seasons and cycles of beginnings and endings. People are meant to fit into these rhythms and cycles, and to gain self-awareness through their observations. Observation of the animals adds to self-awareness and to appreciation of ourselves and of the amazement of life. Amazing too are the heights people can ascend when they allow their own self-abilities and personality to lead their lives. Opening to sharing in the wonder of the world with spiritual energy is opening to more vital and glorious living.

Each of us, you and I, are designed and programmed to connect and care and feel. Connecting to and feeling part of, caring for and feeling empathy, and feeling intertwined. The design is the design.

Partake or refuse


Government election. Partake or refuse?
Family gathering. Partake or refuse?
Community service. Partake or refuse?
Neighborhood mixing. Partake or refuse?
Time with friends. Partake or refuse?

Partake or refuse

The choice “Partake” builds connections and balance.

The choice “refuse” grants ease perhaps, but also less connection, balance, and support.

Partaking in societal efforts to create a supportive society delivers more to the people who take part than they realize. The nature of people is to connect and to become intertwined. Building together, whether in a small community or in a sprawling metropolis, supplies each person who takes part with memories and accomplishment.

The sense of accomplishment can be attained through endeavors that build one’s own family or oneself, and this sense of accomplishment is supportive, but is narrow. Accomplishment that builds support among community members is able to fill a person with beyond-self contentment.

The gift of memories that develop from communal involvement also fill a person with beyond-self contentment. Although memories of time spent in assisting with community betterment are personally uplifting, when combined with all community member having these memories, the entire populace of that area is infused with a sense of connected well-being.

Partake or refuse?
Better to partake!

Listening to creativity


A few nights ago, I went to a music event at a small venue in Houston called McGonigel’s Mucky Duck. The music was provided by a woman and her band from Austin. The place is small and intimate and the waitresses are friendly. Comraderie radiated from the walls of the building as it has been the recipient of years of people connection and music making.

I was with a party of six celebrating the birthday of one of us. Most of my group was tired, because we met at the end of a work day. We ate, talked, and looked around as people usually do when they are out eating. It was nice to be together, but the tiredness remained.

Then the music started! Suddenly everyone in the pub became part of a collective witnessing of rhythm and creativity. The music, live and enlivening, filled our ears and our bodies. The tiredness seeped out and was replaced by inner rhythm and energy. For over an hour, worries were forgotten and music was absorbed. We clapped our hands and moved to the rhythm. We participated in a group experience of connection and creativity. Our participation contributed to the singer’s performance and her performance contributed to our participation. A cycling of people influencing people through the power of music!

The power of music is beyond understanding. It touches our hearts and our minds, our emotions and our intellect. Music provides a map towards self-understanding and others-connecting. The rhythm is in our bodies and in the amazement that is life.

“Life can be so enjoyable; one simply has to agree to be ready and to be amenable to receive the good….”

from The Gift of Intuitive, Dedicated Comfort


Houston—a city to be digested


I am currently in Houston, Texas where I am visiting family and friends whom I cherish. I just finished a walk/slow jog along the bayou and I am inspired to write about Houston.

Houston is a city that gives a lot to its inhabitants and visitors. One simply has to be open to receive the City’s gifts.

The people who live in Houston are diverse, willing to help, and friendly, and their community awareness is generally a part of day-to-day living. The people of Houston face urban living with acceptance and acknowledgment, even handling the traffic with awareness that it is part of the gift of living in the City.

The municipal services are apparent with orderly neighborhoods, constant roadwork, and regular signs of services being performed. The City encourages recycling and care of property. Community religious institutions often perform community service together and other groups are active in promoting care and help for the lesser fortunate members of the City.

There are green areas and art exhibitions, musical performances and theater productions galore. Opportunities to hear talks by local and celebrity speakers are constantly available. The zoo is a humane one and the animal welfare groups are active. Cultural events are ever present and opportunities to experience different cultures abound.

Houston is vibrant and comforting. The more its inhabitants involve themselves in its goings-on, the more they love it. Houston offers never-ending opportunities for connection and living fully. City living that is nourishing, entertaining, and rewarding!

Most large cities in the United States are like Houston. One simply has to be open to receive the city’s gifts.

Apartment/Flat living


(Before I start writing this post, I want to answer a question that many people ask me about the authorship of the posts. All of the information in this website, each and every word, is received from Spiritual Presence. I ask the questions that lead to the information, but the information is not from me nor from my intuition. People who know me will agree that the wisdom presented in this post is definitely not from me. I was raised to appreciate houses and not apartments. I am learning from this post just like other readers.)

In the past societies, people lived in separate homes. Depending upon population sizes, the homes were close enough for people to connect with one another when help was needed or to build communal relationships. Living was based in the homes, but environmental conditions and societal norms brought people together often. Neighbors knew one another and knew enough about each other’s lives to offer assistance. Modern living creates very different societal arrangements.

Because of air conditioning and heating, technological advances in storing and maintaining food and information (computers, TV, sound systems, etc.), and individualized and isolating transportation (private cars and vehicles), people are insulated from each other. Opportunities to connect with neighbors and nearby dwellers are few. The connections that once were easy to make are less likely to occur. Each family or individual or group of individuals is separated in a single dwelling. Connection requires special circumstances and effort. Many people never meet their neighbors and have no sense of a community. This situation is unbalancing.

Apartments/flats in a building that houses people with doorways facing each other present the opportunity to connect. Communal gardens, stairwells, halls, and other features create opportunities for meeting. Communal ownership of building resources forces communal communication. When the dwellers are the owners or are long-term renters, they tend to care more about their neighbors.

Apartment/flat dwelling is generally easier on the environment. Living alongside other people is less taxing on resources and upkeep. Combined efforts reduce time spent on decorative aspects of home ownership.

When children are raised in apartment/flat settings, there is “it takes a village to raise a child” mentality among the neighbors. If the adults are aware of their responsibility to oversee other children and the parents are aware of the great impact that interaction with other adults can have on their children, then the child-rearing can be easier on the parents, can add to the children’s sense of security, and can enrich the lives of the people not raising children themselves.

Communal interactions do not necessarily occur if the people living in apartments/flats are determined to separate themselves. The accoutrements of modern living enable people to live separately without building connections and without opening to the benefits of connected living. Awareness of the importance of involvement in the lives of neighbors can overcome the attraction of anonymous living.

Environmental conditions and societal norms no longer bring people together. Living in closer physical proximity does not bring people together; however, apartment/flat living can contribute to the sense of connected existence. For people who do not live apartmentally, extra effort must be made to connect to neighbors and community members.

People are meant to help one another and to receive from one another information, companionship, and entertainment. Interactions in person are the best forms of people-connecting. Modern living can deter in-person interactions, and determined efforts are needed to counter this effect. Living in grouped arrangements, like apartments/flats that face one another is one solution.

Buffet of personalities


Last night I was very privileged to attend a gathering of like-minded people. People who are open to spiritual possibilities, people who are conscious of connection to the earth and to its inhabitants. My heart felt open and expansive.

As I connected with them, I sensed the commonality among us and the nuances of each very different individual. Each person with his or her own struggles and talents, each person striving for meaning and relevance. I felt their combined empowerment and individual contributions. Personal achievements feeding on the achievements of the assembled.

The gathering was not for a cause or a spiritual meeting. The gathering was a birthday party of one of the like-minded people. A cause for celebration and a reason to connect. Food was bountiful, but considerate of the environment (organic and humanely obtained). Disposable dishes were nowhere to be seen—only real plates and glasses and cutlery. We took turns washing and drying after the meal, which offered more opportunity to connect around the kitchen sink. The gathering was all the more joyous because its impact on world resources was minimal.

So many people in the world and so many personalities. If only we could all feel our place in the whole that is our environment, and strive to sustain it rather than abuse it. Each person, with his or her own struggles and talents, feeling responsible for the world in which we live.

Finding refuge wherever you go

Post 69-People

Temporarily, I am a resident of Los Angeles. I have found “my” local cafe. I have found “my” favorite chocolate shop. I have met a few neighbors. I have explored the surrounding neighborhoods on foot. I have shopped at the local farmers’ market. I have made my temporariness feel more settled. Even though I will live here for a short time, I have created a sense of belonging for myself, and this belongingness is the subject of my post.


Belongingness is a natural, inborn need of all people. Living in family units, creating communities, allying with specific schools or sports teams or religious institutions are examples of the need for belongingness. Being a part of, needed by, and together with are the fundamental requirements of people. Not being part of or needed by or together with goes against human nature. Living life aloofly is simply not natural.

People who live in small communities have a natural tendency to connect. People who live in large cities connect depending on their awareness of the need to connect. People who move from place to place sometimes lose the drive to connect after too many upheavals. The less they connect, the more they need the connections.

Finding refuge wherever you go.

No matter where we are living, we must find people to talk to and to connect with. We must seek out community and we must open to involvement possibilities. We must join and we must be willing to go beyond our own self-interested view. The more we give of ourselves, the more we receive.


Even temporary living arrangements require connection and involvement. Slowly, I am creating these essential ingredients for my soulful nourishment.

The folks that lived before us


I was privileged to attend a gathering of the older generation, the ones who experienced life during the Second World War. They moved slowly, and they performed their actions slowly as well. Some of them spoke uncertainly and some spoke unhesitatingly. Their appearance was elderly, elderly bodies with elderly behavior.

The words they spoke were not encumbered by age. Their ideas were thought through. Their awareness of world events and current problems was consistent with people who are much younger. They expressed concerns and ideas without expecting censorship. The past and the present intertwined, not because of mental problems, but because they can take from the past and apply it to the present. Their mixing of past and present was enlightening.

Society forgets the contributions of the folks that lived active and involved lives in the previous decades. These people might look dismissive, but that view is incorrect. The elderly among us, those whose minds are sharp and whose abilities to contribute are intact, are the people who should be revered. We should be sitting at their feet, looking up into the faces of wisdom and experience.

The importance of delight

(taken from my article of the same name on Healing.Answers.com  )


Delighting in simple pleasures has become a lost art. Very young children do it; they can’t help themselves. They haven’t yet been conditioned to expect more.

Being told to delight in simple pleasures is a rather broad commandment.  First of all, what is a simple pleasure? Second of all, what exactly does it mean to delight in something? And third, why is it so important?

What is a simple pleasure?

A simple pleasure is a thing, a connection, or an event that causes a person to feel a smile within the body. In general, large and elaborate things or events that, while positive, create different reactions within the body.

Simple pleasures rarely change in life. What delights a child should delight an adult, unless the adult has been too tarnished or damaged. There are infinite simple pleasures and each person feels perhaps 3,000 in his or her lifetime. The more open a person is to the amazement of life on Earth, the more simple pleasures he or she can feel.

Examples of simple pleasures are:

  • Seeing a beautiful flower, smelling it, touching its petals
  • Approaching a large tree, looking up into its leaves so high above, touching the bark
  • Walking barefoot on sand and feeling it between the toes
  • Standing outside during a mild rain shower with face uplifted to the sky, feeling the drops on the face
  • Being held by someone who loves you
  • Being rocked by someone who loves you
  • Holding a pet in your arms, stroking the fur, seeing the pet’s reactions
  • Feeling strength in your hands, their versatility, their capability

What does it mean to delight in something?

To delight in something means to roll in its hold on you. Not to really roll, rather to let it take you over in childlike amazement. As if you are a small child witnessing wonder.

Many people lose the wonder of things as they age and experience experiences over and over again. To see a tree for the millionth time is less amazing than seeing a tree for the first time, and yet, the millionth tree is really as amazing as that first one. Finding delight in each and every experience that is pleasurable is a goal worth pursuing. Avoiding becoming jaded, avoiding becoming apathetic.

Why is it important to delight in delight?

The more we let ourselves be moved by the joyous moments in life, the more balanced we are. Our bodies and souls require HAPPY for proper functioning. Even when life is difficult and challenging, finding delight in simple pleasures can affect the way in which we handle the challenges and low tides. Finding moments of un-joylessness, un-annoyance, and un-restlessness lead to balance and to meaningful existence.


A simple way to recall the joyousness of childhood is to be outside near a plant that has a scent you find pleasing.  Sit down next to the plant and let yourself be absorbed by its scent and its fullness of life. (Be sure to protect your clothes before you sit; otherwise, you’ll be upset when you see your dirty clothes and forget the joyous moment!)


“The importance of delight” is the title of this post. It is also a directive from Spiritual Presence about our lives. Life is not meant to be easy, but it is meant to be interesting. The more we find pleasure in the world, the more we can contribute and receive.

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