A Balanced Approach to Wellness

Posts tagged ‘marriage’

EGC sessions with God: Choosing a life partner

hearts-love

With so many marriages ending in divorce and so many others filled with frustration and anger, I decided to ask God about marriage. (Also, my daughter recently married so I have marriage on my mind 🙂 ) Here is the answer I received:

People are meant to pair. The pairing is necessary for support in an uncertain world and for a viable environment for children. Children are more secure in a paired family.

Choosing the person who will be suitable for navigating an uncertain world requires knowing oneself. The partner should be someone who looks at life with similar hopes. Less important are skin color, religious affiliation, and sex appeal; however, devoutly religious people pair better with others who are similarly devout.

The choice of partner requires evaluation of one’s own hopes for the future and the hopes of potential partners. Physical appearance and compatible personalities narrow the choices. The partner who is chosen must make the same evaluations.

Marriage and committed devotion are equally valid in creating pairings. Marriage makes the pairings socially and legally recognized. Committed devotion is different, depending on societal expectations.

When hopes for the future are compatible, the couples can weather crises better. When hopes for the future have no common ground, crises—no matter the size—become obstacles to relationship investment. Each person must be invested in the relationship for it to flourish.

Throughout the togetherness, there will be misunderstandings, kindnesses, celebrations, sadness, expectations missed, expectations met, differences, and comfort. Those who focus on the negative aspects will be unhappy. Those who focus on the positive aspects will be secure.

Pairings that are not based on common hopes occur frequently because of societal pressures and misunderstanding about oneself. These pairings are less compatible, yet they deserve the same efforts to keep them flourishing. Common hopes can be developed over time.

No matter the reasons for pairing, each partner is active in the success or chaos that exists between the partners. Pairings that are forced are difficult to endure. Pairings that are untrue (such as homosexuals marrying heterosexuals or unions based on lies), are debilitating. Pairings are best when there is honesty in the relationships.

Anniversary thoughts

 

Hearts-anniversary

In honor of my husband’s and my anniversary, I’m posting thoughts about couples from various Energy Guidance Complete books.

From The Gift of Intuitive, Dedicated Comfort:

Finding a partner who generally fills expectations is worthy of investment.

From Pond a Connected Existence:

Finding a way to be together without creating chaos. That is the goal in partnership. Finding a way to survive, to support, and to care. Living as designed—with and not without, together and not alone, next to and not far from.

From Oneself—Living:

Love is labyrinthian, multifaceted, and demanding—demanding in attention, demanding in compassion. Demanding in a good way, that is, love requires consideration of a person’s essence and foibles. … Multi-faceted refers to the various moods of love—desire, yearning, simmer, and satisfaction. Labyrinthian because love can be hard to negotiate, discover, and unravel.

From Vitality!:

You should speak compassionately…

From Awaiting Light:

Togetherness is vital for normal human development.

From Unfolding:

The union of two individuals
Union of differences
Distinct preferences
Attractions separate
Yet joined.

Two
Too
Together

The union of two individuals
Direction for life chosen
Focus on similar aim
Movement coordinated
Yet individual.

Two
Too
Together

The union of two individuals
The merging of separate souls
The rhythm of mankind retained.

Here’s to togetherness!

Two-ness, a different look

photo083YU4RG

There is an accepted idea that a man and a woman become “one” when they marry. This “oneness” occurs through the sexual union and through the societal belief that oneness is the product of marriage. In reality, oneness never occurs. Moving in parallel can occur. Clinging to one another can occur. Adapting to one another can occur.

People cannot become one. Each person is a distinct entity with a body designed to prevent intrusion. The partner can come close, but can never enter. The idea of oneness sells fantasy, not reality. The idea of oneness fuels failure, disappointment, and impossible-to-reach expectations. The reality of oneness is “2-ness”. Each person is whole; each person is part of the equation.

Rather than expect to conjoin, people must learn to merge. Merge can mean to combine but that meaning leads back to oneness. Merge also means to meet and join. Like merging traffic. Like sea and sand. They come together but stay in their own form. Merging means finding a way to be together without creating chaos. Merging means giving way or staying firm as needed. Merging means keeping intact while accepting differentness. 2-ness, two-ness, too-ness.

from Pond a Connected Existence:
http://www.amazon.com/Pond-Connected-Existence-Insights-Existence-Me/dp/1494793008/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423498522&sr=8-1&keywords=pond+a+connected+existence

Thank you to Karen Kozek for photo and arrangement.

Two-ness

photo083YU4RG

The union of two individuals
Union of differences
Distinct preferences
Attractions separate
Yet joined.

Two
Too
Together

The union of two individuals
Direction for life chosen
Focus on similar aim
Movement coordinated
Yet individual.

Two
Too
Together

The union of two individuals
The merging of separate souls
The rhythm of mankind retained.

from the upcoming book of poetry entitled Unfolding

Thank you to Karen Kozek for photo and arrangement.

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