A Balanced Approach to Wellness!

Posts tagged ‘love’

Showing up for life

We are born and bestowed with a body that functions (usually) and a brain that learns to protect us, guide our experimentations, and oversee our connections to people, plants, animals, and deity. We are given a life to live, with a soul that is like a fingerprint: ours and ours alone.

Having the body and the brains and the soul are not enough to create a life that is true. Our lives also requires vision: a vision that guides us towards the future and a vision that turns inwards and sees our struggles.

Showing up for life means to use the vision that comes from the eyes and from the brain. When we show up for life, we see what the others need and what we can’t do without. When we show up for life, we understand that the thing we need the most is Love.

Loving ourselves joyfully!

hugging oneself

“Joyful love is love that is bestowed without conditions and without expectations. Joyful love can be felt when overcome by the beauty of nature, when immersed in the attention of a playful animal, when mesmerized by the exquisiteness of an infant, and when experiencing the love of a person who has strong feelings of love in return. Joyful love is felt more strongly when it is allowed to spread and is given towards oneself as well.” –from the chapter “Unexpectant Love” in Exploring Energy Guidance Complete, My Journey

Loving oneself joyfully is not so simple. It requires acceptance, appreciation, and action. The three As.

Acceptance is needed for love to grow boundlessly. Acceptance of physical handicaps, annoying habits, and learned criticisms is key to feeling loving towards oneself. Each person has physical handicaps, with some being more apparent than others. Accepting them and then working with or around them is joyful behavior. Each person has habits that irk others and oneself. Acknowledging these habits and either working to change them or embracing them is joyful focus. Each person has learned criticisms from caregivers, society, and authority figures. When the criticisms are internalized, they can cause emotional and mental damage. Understanding that the criticisms are harmful and then accepting and moving past them is joyful intention.

Appreciation is needed for self-love to be possible. Seeing oneself clearly and ignoring noise that calls for criticism is necessary for appreciation to occur. Noticing accomplishments–large and small, plus remembering to express gratitude for capabilities are necessary for self-appreciation and joyful expressions of confidence.

Action is required to create expressions of self-love. The actions can be an intangible or tangible pat on the back, a daily ritual that includes acknowledgement of being alive, a prayer of thanksgiving, joyful activity (jumping for joy, dancing around, laughing, or silliness), and a vocal or silent statement of love for oneself.

Notes: This information has been spiritually received. I’m reading through Exploring Energy Guidance Complete, My Journey and delving into some of the topics. This book is available here.

Four things that people get wrong

heart-angry

Common sense leads us to build our lives in generally wise ways. Sometimes though, our common sense gets derailed when we listen to others who cause us to question our wisdom. Many of these influencing people have a vested interest in us following their “advice”, because doing so enriches them or increases their influence. We can’t know everything so we do need to rely on information from others, but we have to be aware of the interests of the people who provide the information. Also, wisdom from the past that was once useful doesn’t always translate into wisdom for the present.

Here are four things we get wrong because of the various forces that cause us to think unrealistically.

1. Thinking that love is fairytale possible

People are meant to build deep relationships, but the relationships are not fairytale fantasies.  Relationships require gentle nurturing. They require realistic expectations and perceptions.

Storytellers and movie producers create fantasies of fairytale love, but the reality is different.  Many industries push people to teach their children that fantasy is possible, but reality is different and parents unintentionally raise their children to be disappointed and unhappy.

Life is lived in a more balanced way when love is understood to be a sense of obligation, a show of appreciation, an attraction to the inner character as well as to the outer appearance, a commitment of constant consideration, an openness to coexistence, and an unfailing commitment to kindness and acceptance.

“LOVE that is fantasy is love that is too unreal. This type of love is misunderstood and unattainable. This type of love is difficult and tiring. Falling in love is real as is feeling strong love for another person; however, “true love” is fabrication. Investing in the myth of a perfect love match is non-sustaining. Non-sustaining in terms of health and self-esteem and perception. Attaching to fabled storytelling is abusive, self-abuse.”

Fairytale love is explored, together with realistic loving relationships and unrequited love in the book Oneself–Living.

2. Thinking that people have a right to eat as much meat as they want

Many meat advocates push the consumption of meat products at one or more meals a day. They convince others that the meat is required to maintain strength and vitality.

The ease at which meat is obtained has led to a devaluation of its role in our diets. It has become underappreciated and disrespected. Meat consumption has become inhumane.

Meat is food that can be nourishing and satisfying.  Meat is meant to be eaten in moderation and with appreciation. Read more about meat consumption in these blog posts: Devouring delicious meat, Too much meat, and To eat farmed salmon or not?

3. Thinking that a religion is superior to others

“Religion is an accessway for connecting to God; it is not the destination. Elevating the religion, rather than the divine connection, disconnects people from God. Religions are approaches, they are not possessions to be coveted or aggrandized. ”

Throughout the wisdom writings I have received, the message has been clear:

“NO GROUP IS CLOSER TO SPIRIT THAN ANY OTHER.
NO GROUP SPEAKS FOR SPIRIT.
SPIRIT IS FOR ALL
= EQUALLY=
SPIRIT IS ALL-COME-TO-ME-JUSTLY!
Come justly without harm
To any others”

The quotes are from the books Descending into War, Descending into Contempt and Faith–A Wisdom Poem Sharing Spiritual Connection.

4. Thinking that toddlers want to sit in a forward-facing stroller/pushchair

Compared to the other misunderstood subjects, this one might seem small, but it impacts development of children. Most stroller/pushchair manufacturers tout the benefits of those that are forward facing (the child and parent are both facing forward). Common sense dictates that the toddler should face the beloved parent, but the parents are swayed by the marketing of the companies.

The direction that is best for children is explained in the blog post Strollers–which direction is best for the children.

 

Note: This information has been spiritually received.

Meet your best friend—your heart!

heart-best friend

Your heart is truly your best friend. It keeps you going when you feel down or defeated. In its quiet way, it pushes you to live up to your potential. It rarely complains when you ignore it, and it rewards you with love when you care for it.

If you listen intently to your heart, you will feel some of the best advice you will ever receive! If you notice your heart’s company, it will reward your friendship. And if you give your heart your loyalty, it will give you support until its dying day.

——-  ——-  ——-  ——-

heart-best friend-person

The heart isn’t really your best friend, because a best friend is a person outside of yourself. When you find people to be your companions and support system, be sure to listen to your heart and its wisdom. Your heart can help you choose the people who will matter most.

Caveat: Don’t use the heart as an excuse for choosing companions unwisely, as described in the post “The heart wants what it wants”.

Note: This information has been received through my heart connection with Spirit.

Heart differences

caring

People love in different ways. Some feel love when they are in the presence of others who love them. Some feel love when they are quietly contemplating the things and people that give them pleasure.

Some people express their love with acts of caring and others express their love through words. The expressions of love are all valid, because they all reflect strong feelings of devotion.

Love expressions grow and change with age, experiences, and understanding. The growth can be larger or smaller, and the change can be optimistic or pessimistic. Expressions of love reflect social norms and individual ideas.

The recipients of love expressions can appreciate these expressions of love, no matter their own preferred styles of expression, when they are prepared to be appreciative. Being prepared to be appreciative means being willing to accept the loved ones’ displays of affection and their shortcomings. Without appreciation, expressions of love can dwindle and become tainted.

For love to “succeed”, each person must recognize that all of us feel love differently. Our differences are natural. We can adapt ourselves to the people we love, but it’s our differences that actually keep us together.

Note: this information has been spiritually received.

Filling your heart with destination

caring

The movement towards the end of life is constant, but is not specifically defined, so that our living is always within suspense. We hope for long life, but know that reality can be different, with death a constant possibility. We try to live life without focusing on this reality, but the reality lurks behind all we do nonetheless.

When we live with the final destination in mind, we can focus on living fully. Living fully means investing in relationships, community, and vision. Living fully means opening our hearts to experience love and heartache. Living fully means exploring our personal talents, exploring and questioning the world around us, and exploring the connection to Spirit. And living fully can be accomplished at any age!

When the light in our eyes flickers out and the pumping of the blood ceases, we want to have filled our hearts with destination: loving our loved ones fully, knowing our personal talents and gifts, and seeing our place in the greater world around us. Death of course will come, but let it come without regrets or self-castigation.

When the light in our eyes flickers out, our soul energy will flicker in the lives of the loved ones we cherished while we lived.

Note: This post was delivered to me through my heart’s connection to Spirit. Spirit offers us love and kindness whenever we are ready to receive them.

Matters of the heart

Hearts-anniversary

Love can be complicated, especially when our expectations are too high or are unrealistic.

Spirit has weighed in on love and relationships. Here are spiritual insights about love that appear in the book Oneself-Living—Possibilities, Quiet Treasures, Ways.

True-love fantasy

“Love that is fantasy is love that is too unreal. This type of love is misunderstood and unattainable. This type of love is difficult and tiring. Falling in love is real as is feeling strong love for another person; however, “true love” is fabrication. Investing in the myth of a perfect love match is non-sustaining. Non-sustaining in terms of health and self-esteem and perception. Attaching to fabled storytelling is abusive, self-abuse.”

Unrequited love

“Love that is one-directional is love that is wasted. This type of love is sad and lonely. This type of love is wasted and futile. Love, such as “love” of a celebrity or of a person who is unavailable, is effort expended for naught. Investing in a non-reciprocal un-relationship is simply non-sustaining. Non-sustaining in terms of health and self-esteem. Lowering one’s value—value of one’s time and one’s being—is simply abusive, self-abuse.”

Realistic love

“Love is labyrinthian, multifaceted, and demanding—demanding in attention, demanding in compassion. Demanding in a good way, that is, love requires consideration of a person’s essence and foibles. Essence: a person’s character, habits, and presentation.  Foibles: minor shortcomings, but not abusive behavior towards self and others. Multi-faceted refers to the various moods of love—desire, yearning, simmer, and satisfaction. Labyrinthian because love can be hard to negotiate, discover, and unravel.

Love is not unkind words or impatience; those manifestations come from places of not-love. Ill-tempered treatment of so-called loved ones is not-love. Ridicule, sarcastic retorts, and condescension come from places of not-love. not-love is also multifaceted, but its surfaces are tarnished by traumas from the past, unrealistic expectations, or tiredness.

Feelings of so-so can develop into feelings of love when want is in place. Wanting to succeed, wanting to give, wanting to overlook. Feelings of aversion can develop into feelings of love when the view is adjusted. Seeing from a different angle, seeing with fresh eyes, seeing in a new light.

Feelings of humiliation or degradation generally do not develop into feelings of love, ever. People can overcome humiliating treatment, but their love is tarnished and is not really love. More like crippled-love. It is not not-love, but love that is tentative and wary.

Learning to love begins at a very young age. Babies develop love for their caregivers; the caregivers often develop love for the baby in their care. Young children love their caregivers and animals and their life if they are allowed to develop freely. Societal morés and reality impinge on their feelings of joyful love. Love of peers develops through interaction with people who present similar or non-out-of-sync behavior and outlook. Love of a single, special person can come from much time spent together or from awareness of an inexplicable bond or from a combination of these two components…”

“Love is laborious, exciting, and maddening like a labyrinth; multifaceted like a fashioned gem, and exacting like a demanding god. Love can cause people to commit terrible acts or wondrous feats of altruism. Love leads to coupling, caring for ailing family members, and celebrations. Love can lead to laughter, worry, and expectations. Ever changing, ever rearranging.

People can create loving relationships when they are motivated. A relationship that is mutually fulfilling results in the possibility of love…”

Oneself-Living—Possibilities, Quiet Treasures, Ways can be purchased at amazon.com: http://a.co/jcZb1ac

Cover-Oneself-Living

Giving your heart away

mother and babyWhen we are born, our devotion naturally goes to our mother, and then to our father, if he is there, or to another caring person who fills our baby world. Our mother—if she has unaffected love for us: unaffected by compromised hormonal balance, addictive substances, or personal emotional struggles—shares her love in an intangible presentation of her heart, which we—the baby—receive and naturally wrap inside. As we grow, we in turn present our heart to her and to our other beloved caregivers, and this love creates the bond that binds the baby and mother/other.

This first intangible exchange of hearts teaches us the natural giving and receiving of love. As we grow and receive love from more distant people—other family members, relatives, and friends—we learn to share our love, and the intangible exchange of hearts continues. Each heart-exchange stirs different emotions and elicits different expressions of love.

For the mother of babies that are wanted, the gift of motherly love is natural and fills her with purpose. Her instinctive lunge towards her children opens her heart to expanded generosity. As she gives her heart to her children, she strengthens and fortifies her intangible heart.

For the mother affected by compromised hormonal balance, addictive substances, personal emotional struggles, abuse or shame, growth of her intangible heart is attacked or blocked. Her natural inclination is to love her children passionately, but the influence of the external and/or internal saboteurs overcome natural bonding. The children of this type of mother receive crippled love, love that is offered and retracted in bouts of personal confusion or love that is guilt-ridden and unstable. These children have less connection to heartfelt love. They can learn to give and take love, but may feel confusion or uncertainty in the process.

 

The act of giving your heart away is as natural as smiling and crying. It is part of our human design to build connections with people, and giving your heart away is part of the connection-building process. Giving your heart to a family member is natural, and rejection of it is difficult to receive. Giving your heart to a person similar to yourself is also natural, and rejection can be as hard to take as rejection from a family member.

The intangible heart radiates desire for connection, and it pushes towards opening to receive love from others and towards risk-taking to give love to others. When the heart has experienced reciprocal love, it survives experiences of miscalculation more easily than a heart that was raised on confused or uncertain love.

There is truth in the idea that the heart expands as it embraces more and more people with love. The intangible heart has no size limitations.

Love as much as you can, and your love can help bring balance to the world!

Note: This post was delivered to me through my heart’s connection to Spirit. Spirit offers us love and kindness whenever we are ready to receive them.

Lead from the heart

Hearts-anniversary

The heart—a wondrous organ that focuses life!

The heart infuses life with emotion, with strength, and with direction. The heart reaches to the soul for guidance and brings the guidance in, even when soulful living has been abandoned or denied. The heart feels the connection to guardian angels, urging wisdom flow and urging sensations of comfort and support. The heart ties us to the rhythms in nature and in the spiritual realm, pulling us into the flows and into the stillness.

Refusing the heart’s functioning dulls the eyes and constrains the decisions. Without heartfelt guidance, life opens to embitterment and to loneliness. The heart infuses the senses with robustness, so that a lack of heart in decision-making or behavior skews the senses’ abilities to properly inform the mind and body. Without the heart’s input, conflict and apathy can rage.

When we lead from the heart, we live authentically! Heaviness can disappear and joy can guide our actions!

Note: This post was delivered to me through my heart’s connection to Spirit. Spirit offers us love and kindness whenever we are ready to receive them.

Anniversary thoughts

 

Hearts-anniversary

In honor of my husband’s and my anniversary, I’m posting thoughts about couples from various Energy Guidance Complete books.

From The Gift of Intuitive, Dedicated Comfort:

Finding a partner who generally fills expectations is worthy of investment.

From Pond a Connected Existence:

Finding a way to be together without creating chaos. That is the goal in partnership. Finding a way to survive, to support, and to care. Living as designed—with and not without, together and not alone, next to and not far from.

From Oneself—Living:

Love is labyrinthian, multifaceted, and demanding—demanding in attention, demanding in compassion. Demanding in a good way, that is, love requires consideration of a person’s essence and foibles. … Multi-faceted refers to the various moods of love—desire, yearning, simmer, and satisfaction. Labyrinthian because love can be hard to negotiate, discover, and unravel.

From Vitality!:

You should speak compassionately…

From Awaiting Light:

Togetherness is vital for normal human development.

From Unfolding:

The union of two individuals
Union of differences
Distinct preferences
Attractions separate
Yet joined.

Two
Too
Together

The union of two individuals
Direction for life chosen
Focus on similar aim
Movement coordinated
Yet individual.

Two
Too
Together

The union of two individuals
The merging of separate souls
The rhythm of mankind retained.

Here’s to togetherness!

When sadness hits (reposting)

Post 78-Sadness

Sometimes terrible things happen to people. Sometimes young people have serious illnesses that disfigure or damage them. Or weaken them so they die too young. Sometimes natural disasters befall people and they are left homeless, hurt, or confused.  Or orphaned. Sometimes people hurt other people—intentionally or not—so that trauma or death results. Sometimes people damage themselves—intentionally or not.

In all these cases, the survivors and caregivers are required to continue on and live. Not an easy task. Caregivers suffer daily, both physically and emotionally. Survivors suffer too, although differently and in varying degrees of despair, guilt, and shock. Both are in need of support, kindness, and openness to their pain. In other words, a survivor or caregiver needs a quiet  audience (meaning the listeners are quiet) for them to bare their sadness. If the audience is not quiet, the sadness might not dissipate. Quiet and constancy are the qualities of people who are helpful to those who need to give way to the effects of their sadness.

When sadness hits because of the natural order of life (a parent dies in old age), the survivors also require the same quiet and constancy. Sadness is sadness no matter the cause, although extra understanding should be given to the survivors of tragedies.

The person who has suffered the trauma (but not death) needs even more constancy and support. This person must eventually release the hold of the trauma. As described in the book Oneself-Living :

“Negative remembrances require determination and desire to purge them. Negative remembrances that are traumatic are often too difficult to release with-out continuous and relegate-to-a-less-prominent-place focus. Although traumatic events damage the connection to self and the sense of security, a person can remove the vicious side of a trauma so that a normal life can be led. Leading a normal life means focusing on the tasks that are done each day to sustain life: intake of food and water, sleep, interaction with others, and appreciation of the natural environment. Holding on to the tainted memory(ies), or holding back because of self-manufactured fear, prevents purging of the trauma of the event. The trauma must be released.”

Sometimes, terrible things happen to people. Terrible things also happen to the animals that inhabit the Earth. Terrible things happen. Can something be done? Towards the animals, much can be done. Towards people, less can be done. Towards animals, much painful treatment are day-to-day practices that people do to animals for food, clothing, and decorative items. Becoming aware of what is done to animals is the right thing to do. In general, people have less control over the tragedies that happen to people. Nonetheless, awareness of wrongful treatment of people should bring action from people who can affect change.

Sadness is sadness, no matter the cause. Releasing sadness can be done—with patience, with kindness, and with readiness.

Third book published!

Cover-Oneself-Living

My third book, Oneself-Living, is published on amazon.com! With its publication, the trilogy of wisdom essays is complete. In honor of wisdom presented in the book, here are a few quotes:

From the chapter “Journey Markings”:

“…Journey markings [events that occur in each person’s life that leave indelible and consequential memories], chance encounters, input that influences, selected employment, and choices contribute to individual development. Journey markings are not the most influential force, but they do veer direction. Each person reacts to a journey marking in a specific-to-me manner, and this reaction is what causes the force of the remembered event to be an influence.”

From the chapter “Concrete Living”:

“…Planning: making plans, long-term or not, short-term or not–>concrete living.

Spontaneous actions: last-minute get-togethers or get-goings–>concrete living.

Laughing, smiling, wide-eyed appreciation, willingness to err–>concrete living.

Concrete living: living with gusto and with verve, with awareness of an ending and with awareness of possibility, with thankfulness and with generosity.”

From the chapter  “Picture Crooked”:

“…Picture crookedness is life in reality. Crooked smiles, crooked teeth, crooked noses, on and on. No need for photoshopping. Real life—in its imperfection and individuality. Life lived in truth, not in denial. Life lived in gulps, not in narrow sips. Life experienced widely, largely, encompassingly!”

From the chapter “1LOVE2TRUE-LOVE6LOVE”:

“…People can create loving relationships when they are motivated. A relationship that is mutually fulfilling results in the possibility of love, mult-petaled love. A relationship that is mutually invested results in love, multi-petaled love. Fulfillment and investment are required in a loving relationship. Love is a wanted, nourishing feeling that builds when the relationship reflectors create a positive, sustaining connection. “in”, not observing from afar; “available”, not holding back; loving, loved,…”

When sadness hits

Post 78-Sadness

Sometimes terrible things happen to people. Sometimes young people have serious illnesses that disfigure or damage them. Or weaken them so they die too young. Sometimes natural disasters befall people and they are left homeless, hurt, or confused.  Or orphaned. Sometimes people hurt other people—intentionally or not—so that trauma or death results. Sometimes people damage themselves—intentionally or not.

In all these cases, the survivors and caregivers are required to continue on and live. Not an easy task. Caregivers suffer daily, both physically and emotionally. Survivors suffer too, although differently and in varying degrees of despair, guilt, and shock. Both are in need of support, kindness, and openness to their pain. In other words, a survivor or caregiver needs a quiet  audience (meaning the listeners are quiet) for them to bare their sadness. If the audience is not quiet, the sadness might not dissipate. Quiet and constancy are the qualities of people who are helpful to those who need to give way to the effects of their sadness.

When sadness hits because of the natural order of life (a parent dies in old age), the survivors also require the same quiet and constancy. Sadness is sadness no matter the cause, although extra understanding should be given to the survivors of tragedies.

The person who has suffered the trauma (but not death) needs even more constancy and support. This person must eventually release the hold of the trauma. As described in the book Oneself-Living (soon to be released):

“Negative remembrances require determination and desire to purge them. Negative remembrances that are traumatic are often too difficult to release with-out continuous and relegate-to-a-less-prominent-place focus. Although traumatic events damage the connection to self and the sense of security, a person can remove the vicious side of a trauma so that a normal life can be led. Leading a normal life means focusing on the tasks that are done each day to sustain life: intake of food and water, sleep, interaction with others, and appreciation of the natural environment. Holding on to the tainted memory(ies), or holding back because of self-manufactured fear, prevents purging of the trauma of the event. The trauma must be released.”

Sometimes, terrible things happen to people. Terrible things also happen to the animals that inhabit the Earth. Terrible things happen. Can something be done? Towards the animals, much can be done. Towards people, less can be done. Towards animals, much painful treatment are day-to-day practices that people do to animals for food, clothing, and decorative items. Becoming aware of what is done to animals is the right thing to do. In general, people have less control over the tragedies that happen to people. Nonetheless, awareness of wrongful treatment of people should bring action from people who can affect change.

Sadness is sadness, no matter the cause. Releasing sadness can be done—with patience, with kindness, and with readiness.

I love ME!

Post 75-learning to love I

Post 76-loving oneself

In the book The Gift of Intuitive, Dedicated Comfort, it says:

“…Finding ways to bring joy, love, movement, challenge, acceptance, patience, warmth, and balance should be pursued.”

These goals lead to loving oneself, purposeful living, and calm. These goals are doable. These goals should enable satisfaction in one’s life. Not to a simple or easy life—that is not the goal. The goal is to have the ability to weather whatever comes and to live with vitality and determination.

Each person determines the way to these goals. There are no exact directions for everyone. In general, smiling often is better than frowning and lifts one’s spirits. Remember to smile.

Moving can bring change—not moving to a new location—no! moving one’s body! Often, especially in dance or out in nature. A treadmill is fine, but a walk in nature is better. Moving in a group is very invigorating—in a dance class or exercise group or on a hike or in the water. Group dynamics can increase the mood benefits. But a group is not required to move. Taking computer breaks OFTEN and stretching—very important! Encouraging others to move –important too. In the book, Pond a Connected Existence, the human need for movement is number 5! Remember to move.

Balance can seem like an illusive goal, but it is not if you are open to balancing ALL the components of health—physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Being open is better than being determined to oppose. So much occurs that is not in our realm of understanding; why expect to understand everything? Balance through eating healthfully, working through negative emotions, challenging the intellect, and opening to spiritual possibilities.

And yes—being patient. Not an easy thing to be in our instant gratification society. Working towards a goal takes time, dedication, perseverance, and time. And more time. And more perseverance and time. And being prepared.

“Being prepared means readying for whatever—whatever happens, whatever doesn’t happen, whatever presents itself for opportunity or for disaster.” from Oneself—Living (soon to be published).

Self-love is possible!

Loving oneself—it can be done

Post 76-loving oneself

Loving oneself can occur and does occur when the awareness of its importance is brought to light. In the book, Pond a Connected Existence, the ten most important things that the average human requires are listed in the order of their importance. Self-love is number 8!

Self-love is not simple to achieve, especially for those who grow up in societies that do not value its importance. Nonetheless, people must strive to love themselves so that they can move on and love others.

What is self-love? It is described in the book Oneself-Living (soon to be published):

“Self-love, like [deep love of others], has six requirements: #1 obligation #2 appreciation #3 attraction #4 devotion. #5 flow #6 admiration

1  obligation to assist, support, and be available physically
2  appreciation of assistance, support, and character
3  attraction to inner and outer
4  held in close consideration at all times (devotion)
5  openness to surprise, acknowledgment of mortality, accommodation of cultures, and thoughtfulness
6  admiration for kindnesses, assistance, and acceptances done for others and for self”

The requirements of self-love

  1. obligation to assist, support, and be available physically: assist and support oneself when feeling unable to achieve goals or daily tasks and care for one’s physicality so that the body can be able to provide support for one’s tasks and goals.
  2. appreciation of assistance, support, and character: be able to see one’s assistance and support for oneself and be able to appreciate the variation of character traits (and not focus on negative traits).
  3. attraction to inner and outer: feel a sense of pull towards one’s physical appearance and one’s character traits. Especially for women, this requirement is important when the advertising and entertainment industries push unrealistic beauty indexes.
  4. held in close consideration at all times (devotion): remember to include one’s own needs when living life (not put other people’s needs first). Even a mother has to put her needs above her baby’s needs if she is going to tend to the baby properly. This requirement is not easy because it can be confused with being selfish, which it is not.
  5. openness to surprise, acknowledgment of mortality, accommodation of cultures, and thoughtfulness: all of these requirements are connected because they all require consideration of life’s realities.
  6. admiration for kindnesses, assistance, and acceptances done for others and for self: notice what one does for others (being kind, providing assistance, giving way when others’ needs require it) and applaud oneself for caring for personal needs and dreams.

Self-love is the basis for balanced living. Without it, one is always askew no matter how well one eats or exercises or volunteers.

“When we …are able to heal ourselves then only are we ready to help others.” by Ann Wigmore in the Naturama living textbook.

Learning to love I

Post 75-learning to love I

A continuation from yesterday’s post…

Not liking ourselves leads to not liking others

The work begins within!

When we are unkind to ourselves, we inhibit our ability to relate to others in a balanced and caring way. Their idiosyncrasies annoy us rather than entertain us. We relate to them in harshness and in impatience. When we are kind to ourselves, we expand our caring for ourselves and for others.

How to be kinder to ourselves

  1. Feel inside your body—think about its wondrous functioning (even if you are sick) and be appreciative towards the internal grandeur of your body.
  2. Think about a person you admire, and imagine that his or her admired qualities are in you too.
  3. Write a short wish for yourself that includes a wish for admiration. For example, write “I desire and wish for myself to admire myself” (You are not being graded on your writing composition.) Keep this written wish in a place that is private and accessible, for instance, on a shelf by your bed.
  4. Look at each finger on each hand and notice its shape and agility (if any of the fingers hurt or are arthritic, stroke the finger and send it compassion).
  5. Listen to music that invigorates you and think of yourself as being a joyous person.
  6. Touch your face and slowly breathe, while your feet are rocking back and forth on the ground. You can do this step while standing or sitting.
  7. Look at a reminder from your childhood (a picture or a knick knack) and then look at your favorite piece of clothing or a memento.

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