A Balanced Approach to Wellness!

Posts tagged ‘love’

Four things that people get wrong

heart-angry

Common sense leads us to build our lives in generally wise ways. Sometimes though, our common sense gets derailed when we listen to others who cause us to question our wisdom. Many of these influencing people have a vested interest in us following their “advice”, because doing so enriches them or increases their influence. We can’t know everything so we do need to rely on information from others, but we have to be aware of the interests of the people who provide the information. Also, wisdom from the past that was once useful doesn’t always translate into wisdom for the present.

Here are four things we get wrong because of the various forces that cause us to think unrealistically.

1. Thinking that love is fairytale possible

People are meant to build deep relationships, but the relationships are not fairytale fantasies.  Relationships require gentle nurturing. They require realistic expectations and perceptions.

Storytellers and movie producers create fantasies of fairytale love, but the reality is different.  Many industries push people to teach their children that fantasy is possible, but reality is different and parents unintentionally raise their children to be disappointed and unhappy.

Life is lived in a more balanced way when love is understood to be a sense of obligation, a show of appreciation, an attraction to the inner character as well as to the outer appearance, a commitment of constant consideration, an openness to coexistence, and an unfailing commitment to kindness and acceptance.

“LOVE that is fantasy is love that is too unreal. This type of love is misunderstood and unattainable. This type of love is difficult and tiring. Falling in love is real as is feeling strong love for another person; however, “true love” is fabrication. Investing in the myth of a perfect love match is non-sustaining. Non-sustaining in terms of health and self-esteem and perception. Attaching to fabled storytelling is abusive, self-abuse.”

Fairytale love is explored, together with realistic loving relationships and unrequited love in the book Oneself–Living.

2. Thinking that people have a right to eat as much meat as they want

Many meat advocates push the consumption of meat products at one or more meals a day. They convince others that the meat is required to maintain strength and vitality.

The ease at which meat is obtained has led to a devaluation of its role in our diets. It has become underappreciated and disrespected. Meat consumption has become inhumane.

Meat is food that can be nourishing and satisfying.  Meat is meant to be eaten in moderation and with appreciation. Read more about meat consumption in these blog posts: Devouring delicious meat, Too much meat, and To eat farmed salmon or not?

3. Thinking that a religion is superior to others

“Religion is an accessway for connecting to God; it is not the destination. Elevating the religion, rather than the divine connection, disconnects people from God. Religions are approaches, they are not possessions to be coveted or aggrandized. ”

Throughout the wisdom writings I have received, the message has been clear:

“NO GROUP IS CLOSER TO SPIRIT THAN ANY OTHER.
NO GROUP SPEAKS FOR SPIRIT.
SPIRIT IS FOR ALL
= EQUALLY=
SPIRIT IS ALL-COME-TO-ME-JUSTLY!
Come justly without harm
To any others”

The quotes are from the books Descending into War, Descending into Contempt and Faith–A Wisdom Poem Sharing Spiritual Connection.

4. Thinking that toddlers want to sit in a forward-facing stroller/pushchair

Compared to the other misunderstood subjects, this one might seem small, but it impacts development of children. Most stroller/pushchair manufacturers tout the benefits of those that are forward facing (the child and parent are both facing forward). Common sense dictates that the toddler should face the beloved parent, but the parents are swayed by the marketing of the companies.

The direction that is best for children is explained in the blog post Strollers–which direction is best for the children.

 

Note: This information has been spiritually received.

Meet your best friend—your heart!

heart-best friend

Your heart is truly your best friend. It keeps you going when you feel down or defeated. In its quiet way, it pushes you to live up to your potential. It rarely complains when you ignore it, and it rewards you with love when you care for it.

If you listen intently to your heart, you will feel some of the best advice you will ever receive! If you notice your heart’s company, it will reward your friendship. And if you give your heart your loyalty, it will give you support until its dying day.

——-  ——-  ——-  ——-

heart-best friend-person

The heart isn’t really your best friend, because a best friend is a person outside of yourself. When you find people to be your companions and support system, be sure to listen to your heart and its wisdom. Your heart can help you choose the people who will matter most.

Caveat: Don’t use the heart as an excuse for choosing companions unwisely, as described in the post “The heart wants what it wants”.

Note: This information has been received through my heart connection with Spirit.

Heart differences

caring

People love in different ways. Some feel love when they are in the presence of others who love them. Some feel love when they are quietly contemplating the things and people that give them pleasure.

Some people express their love with acts of caring and others express their love through words. The expressions of love are all valid, because they all reflect strong feelings of devotion.

Love expressions grow and change with age, experiences, and understanding. The growth can be larger or smaller, and the change can be optimistic or pessimistic. Expressions of love reflect social norms and individual ideas.

The recipients of love expressions can appreciate these expressions of love, no matter their own preferred styles of expression, when they are prepared to be appreciative. Being prepared to be appreciative means being willing to accept the loved ones’ displays of affection and their shortcomings. Without appreciation, expressions of love can dwindle and become tainted.

For love to “succeed”, each person must recognize that all of us feel love differently. Our differences are natural. We can adapt ourselves to the people we love, but it’s our differences that actually keep us together.

Note: this information has been spiritually received.

Filling your heart with destination

caring

The movement towards the end of life is constant, but is not specifically defined, so that our living is always within suspense. We hope for long life, but know that reality can be different, with death a constant possibility. We try to live life without focusing on this reality, but the reality lurks behind all we do nonetheless.

When we live with the final destination in mind, we can focus on living fully. Living fully means investing in relationships, community, and vision. Living fully means opening our hearts to experience love and heartache. Living fully means exploring our personal talents, exploring and questioning the world around us, and exploring the connection to Spirit. And living fully can be accomplished at any age!

When the light in our eyes flickers out and the pumping of the blood ceases, we want to have filled our hearts with destination: loving our loved ones fully, knowing our personal talents and gifts, and seeing our place in the greater world around us. Death of course will come, but let it come without regrets or self-castigation.

When the light in our eyes flickers out, our soul energy will flicker in the lives of the loved ones we cherished while we lived.

Note: This post was delivered to me through my heart’s connection to Spirit. Spirit offers us love and kindness whenever we are ready to receive them.

Matters of the heart

Hearts-anniversary

Love can be complicated, especially when our expectations are too high or are unrealistic.

Spirit has weighed in on love and relationships. Here are spiritual insights about love that appear in the book Oneself-Living—Possibilities, Quiet Treasures, Ways.

True-love fantasy

“Love that is fantasy is love that is too unreal. This type of love is misunderstood and unattainable. This type of love is difficult and tiring. Falling in love is real as is feeling strong love for another person; however, “true love” is fabrication. Investing in the myth of a perfect love match is non-sustaining. Non-sustaining in terms of health and self-esteem and perception. Attaching to fabled storytelling is abusive, self-abuse.”

Unrequited love

“Love that is one-directional is love that is wasted. This type of love is sad and lonely. This type of love is wasted and futile. Love, such as “love” of a celebrity or of a person who is unavailable, is effort expended for naught. Investing in a non-reciprocal un-relationship is simply non-sustaining. Non-sustaining in terms of health and self-esteem. Lowering one’s value—value of one’s time and one’s being—is simply abusive, self-abuse.”

Realistic love

“Love is labyrinthian, multifaceted, and demanding—demanding in attention, demanding in compassion. Demanding in a good way, that is, love requires consideration of a person’s essence and foibles. Essence: a person’s character, habits, and presentation.  Foibles: minor shortcomings, but not abusive behavior towards self and others. Multi-faceted refers to the various moods of love—desire, yearning, simmer, and satisfaction. Labyrinthian because love can be hard to negotiate, discover, and unravel.

Love is not unkind words or impatience; those manifestations come from places of not-love. Ill-tempered treatment of so-called loved ones is not-love. Ridicule, sarcastic retorts, and condescension come from places of not-love. not-love is also multifaceted, but its surfaces are tarnished by traumas from the past, unrealistic expectations, or tiredness.

Feelings of so-so can develop into feelings of love when want is in place. Wanting to succeed, wanting to give, wanting to overlook. Feelings of aversion can develop into feelings of love when the view is adjusted. Seeing from a different angle, seeing with fresh eyes, seeing in a new light.

Feelings of humiliation or degradation generally do not develop into feelings of love, ever. People can overcome humiliating treatment, but their love is tarnished and is not really love. More like crippled-love. It is not not-love, but love that is tentative and wary.

Learning to love begins at a very young age. Babies develop love for their caregivers; the caregivers often develop love for the baby in their care. Young children love their caregivers and animals and their life if they are allowed to develop freely. Societal morés and reality impinge on their feelings of joyful love. Love of peers develops through interaction with people who present similar or non-out-of-sync behavior and outlook. Love of a single, special person can come from much time spent together or from awareness of an inexplicable bond or from a combination of these two components…”

“Love is laborious, exciting, and maddening like a labyrinth; multifaceted like a fashioned gem, and exacting like a demanding god. Love can cause people to commit terrible acts or wondrous feats of altruism. Love leads to coupling, caring for ailing family members, and celebrations. Love can lead to laughter, worry, and expectations. Ever changing, ever rearranging.

People can create loving relationships when they are motivated. A relationship that is mutually fulfilling results in the possibility of love…”

Oneself-Living—Possibilities, Quiet Treasures, Ways can be purchased at amazon.com: http://a.co/jcZb1ac

Cover-Oneself-Living

Giving your heart away

mother and babyWhen we are born, our devotion naturally goes to our mother, and then to our father, if he is there, or to another caring person who fills our baby world. Our mother—if she has unaffected love for us: unaffected by compromised hormonal balance, addictive substances, or personal emotional struggles—shares her love in an intangible presentation of her heart, which we—the baby—receive and naturally wrap inside. As we grow, we in turn present our heart to her and to our other beloved caregivers, and this love creates the bond that binds the baby and mother/other.

This first intangible exchange of hearts teaches us the natural giving and receiving of love. As we grow and receive love from more distant people—other family members, relatives, and friends—we learn to share our love, and the intangible exchange of hearts continues. Each heart-exchange stirs different emotions and elicits different expressions of love.

For the mother of babies that are wanted, the gift of motherly love is natural and fills her with purpose. Her instinctive lunge towards her children opens her heart to expanded generosity. As she gives her heart to her children, she strengthens and fortifies her intangible heart.

For the mother affected by compromised hormonal balance, addictive substances, personal emotional struggles, abuse or shame, growth of her intangible heart is attacked or blocked. Her natural inclination is to love her children passionately, but the influence of the external and/or internal saboteurs overcome natural bonding. The children of this type of mother receive crippled love, love that is offered and retracted in bouts of personal confusion or love that is guilt-ridden and unstable. These children have less connection to heartfelt love. They can learn to give and take love, but may feel confusion or uncertainty in the process.

 

The act of giving your heart away is as natural as smiling and crying. It is part of our human design to build connections with people, and giving your heart away is part of the connection-building process. Giving your heart to a family member is natural, and rejection of it is difficult to receive. Giving your heart to a person similar to yourself is also natural, and rejection can be as hard to take as rejection from a family member.

The intangible heart radiates desire for connection, and it pushes towards opening to receive love from others and towards risk-taking to give love to others. When the heart has experienced reciprocal love, it survives experiences of miscalculation more easily than a heart that was raised on confused or uncertain love.

There is truth in the idea that the heart expands as it embraces more and more people with love. The intangible heart has no size limitations.

Love as much as you can, and your love can help bring balance to the world!

Note: This post was delivered to me through my heart’s connection to Spirit. Spirit offers us love and kindness whenever we are ready to receive them.

Lead from the heart

Hearts-anniversary

The heart—a wondrous organ that focuses life!

The heart infuses life with emotion, with strength, and with direction. The heart reaches to the soul for guidance and brings the guidance in, even when soulful living has been abandoned or denied. The heart feels the connection to guardian angels, urging wisdom flow and urging sensations of comfort and support. The heart ties us to the rhythms in nature and in the spiritual realm, pulling us into the flows and into the stillness.

Refusing the heart’s functioning dulls the eyes and constrains the decisions. Without heartfelt guidance, life opens to embitterment and to loneliness. The heart infuses the senses with robustness, so that a lack of heart in decision-making or behavior skews the senses’ abilities to properly inform the mind and body. Without the heart’s input, conflict and apathy can rage.

When we lead from the heart, we live authentically! Heaviness can disappear and joy can guide our actions!

Note: This post was delivered to me through my heart’s connection to Spirit. Spirit offers us love and kindness whenever we are ready to receive them.

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