A Balanced Approach to Wellness

Posts tagged ‘love’

Anniversary thoughts

 

Hearts-anniversary

In honor of my husband’s and my anniversary, I’m posting thoughts about couples from various Energy Guidance Complete books.

From The Gift of Intuitive, Dedicated Comfort:

Finding a partner who generally fills expectations is worthy of investment.

From Pond a Connected Existence:

Finding a way to be together without creating chaos. That is the goal in partnership. Finding a way to survive, to support, and to care. Living as designed—with and not without, together and not alone, next to and not far from.

From Oneself—Living:

Love is labyrinthian, multifaceted, and demanding—demanding in attention, demanding in compassion. Demanding in a good way, that is, love requires consideration of a person’s essence and foibles. … Multi-faceted refers to the various moods of love—desire, yearning, simmer, and satisfaction. Labyrinthian because love can be hard to negotiate, discover, and unravel.

From Vitality!:

You should speak compassionately…

From Awaiting Light:

Togetherness is vital for normal human development.

From Unfolding:

The union of two individuals
Union of differences
Distinct preferences
Attractions separate
Yet joined.

Two
Too
Together

The union of two individuals
Direction for life chosen
Focus on similar aim
Movement coordinated
Yet individual.

Two
Too
Together

The union of two individuals
The merging of separate souls
The rhythm of mankind retained.

Here’s to togetherness!

When sadness hits (reposting)

Post 78-Sadness

Sometimes terrible things happen to people. Sometimes young people have serious illnesses that disfigure or damage them. Or weaken them so they die too young. Sometimes natural disasters befall people and they are left homeless, hurt, or confused.  Or orphaned. Sometimes people hurt other people—intentionally or not—so that trauma or death results. Sometimes people damage themselves—intentionally or not.

In all these cases, the survivors and caregivers are required to continue on and live. Not an easy task. Caregivers suffer daily, both physically and emotionally. Survivors suffer too, although differently and in varying degrees of despair, guilt, and shock. Both are in need of support, kindness, and openness to their pain. In other words, a survivor or caregiver needs a quiet  audience (meaning the listeners are quiet) for them to bare their sadness. If the audience is not quiet, the sadness might not dissipate. Quiet and constancy are the qualities of people who are helpful to those who need to give way to the effects of their sadness.

When sadness hits because of the natural order of life (a parent dies in old age), the survivors also require the same quiet and constancy. Sadness is sadness no matter the cause, although extra understanding should be given to the survivors of tragedies.

The person who has suffered the trauma (but not death) needs even more constancy and support. This person must eventually release the hold of the trauma. As described in the book Oneself-Living :

“Negative remembrances require determination and desire to purge them. Negative remembrances that are traumatic are often too difficult to release with-out continuous and relegate-to-a-less-prominent-place focus. Although traumatic events damage the connection to self and the sense of security, a person can remove the vicious side of a trauma so that a normal life can be led. Leading a normal life means focusing on the tasks that are done each day to sustain life: intake of food and water, sleep, interaction with others, and appreciation of the natural environment. Holding on to the tainted memory(ies), or holding back because of self-manufactured fear, prevents purging of the trauma of the event. The trauma must be released.”

Sometimes, terrible things happen to people. Terrible things also happen to the animals that inhabit the Earth. Terrible things happen. Can something be done? Towards the animals, much can be done. Towards people, less can be done. Towards animals, much painful treatment are day-to-day practices that people do to animals for food, clothing, and decorative items. Becoming aware of what is done to animals is the right thing to do. In general, people have less control over the tragedies that happen to people. Nonetheless, awareness of wrongful treatment of people should bring action from people who can affect change.

Sadness is sadness, no matter the cause. Releasing sadness can be done—with patience, with kindness, and with readiness.

Third book published!

Cover-Oneself-Living

My third book, Oneself-Living, is published on amazon.com! With its publication, the trilogy of wisdom essays is complete. In honor of wisdom presented in the book, here are a few quotes:

From the chapter “Journey Markings”:

“…Journey markings [events that occur in each person’s life that leave indelible and consequential memories], chance encounters, input that influences, selected employment, and choices contribute to individual development. Journey markings are not the most influential force, but they do veer direction. Each person reacts to a journey marking in a specific-to-me manner, and this reaction is what causes the force of the remembered event to be an influence.”

From the chapter “Concrete Living”:

“…Planning: making plans, long-term or not, short-term or not–>concrete living.

Spontaneous actions: last-minute get-togethers or get-goings–>concrete living.

Laughing, smiling, wide-eyed appreciation, willingness to err–>concrete living.

Concrete living: living with gusto and with verve, with awareness of an ending and with awareness of possibility, with thankfulness and with generosity.”

From the chapter  “Picture Crooked”:

“…Picture crookedness is life in reality. Crooked smiles, crooked teeth, crooked noses, on and on. No need for photoshopping. Real life—in its imperfection and individuality. Life lived in truth, not in denial. Life lived in gulps, not in narrow sips. Life experienced widely, largely, encompassingly!”

From the chapter “1LOVE2TRUE-LOVE6LOVE”:

“…People can create loving relationships when they are motivated. A relationship that is mutually fulfilling results in the possibility of love, mult-petaled love. A relationship that is mutually invested results in love, multi-petaled love. Fulfillment and investment are required in a loving relationship. Love is a wanted, nourishing feeling that builds when the relationship reflectors create a positive, sustaining connection. “in”, not observing from afar; “available”, not holding back; loving, loved,…”

When sadness hits

Post 78-Sadness

Sometimes terrible things happen to people. Sometimes young people have serious illnesses that disfigure or damage them. Or weaken them so they die too young. Sometimes natural disasters befall people and they are left homeless, hurt, or confused.  Or orphaned. Sometimes people hurt other people—intentionally or not—so that trauma or death results. Sometimes people damage themselves—intentionally or not.

In all these cases, the survivors and caregivers are required to continue on and live. Not an easy task. Caregivers suffer daily, both physically and emotionally. Survivors suffer too, although differently and in varying degrees of despair, guilt, and shock. Both are in need of support, kindness, and openness to their pain. In other words, a survivor or caregiver needs a quiet  audience (meaning the listeners are quiet) for them to bare their sadness. If the audience is not quiet, the sadness might not dissipate. Quiet and constancy are the qualities of people who are helpful to those who need to give way to the effects of their sadness.

When sadness hits because of the natural order of life (a parent dies in old age), the survivors also require the same quiet and constancy. Sadness is sadness no matter the cause, although extra understanding should be given to the survivors of tragedies.

The person who has suffered the trauma (but not death) needs even more constancy and support. This person must eventually release the hold of the trauma. As described in the book Oneself-Living (soon to be released):

“Negative remembrances require determination and desire to purge them. Negative remembrances that are traumatic are often too difficult to release with-out continuous and relegate-to-a-less-prominent-place focus. Although traumatic events damage the connection to self and the sense of security, a person can remove the vicious side of a trauma so that a normal life can be led. Leading a normal life means focusing on the tasks that are done each day to sustain life: intake of food and water, sleep, interaction with others, and appreciation of the natural environment. Holding on to the tainted memory(ies), or holding back because of self-manufactured fear, prevents purging of the trauma of the event. The trauma must be released.”

Sometimes, terrible things happen to people. Terrible things also happen to the animals that inhabit the Earth. Terrible things happen. Can something be done? Towards the animals, much can be done. Towards people, less can be done. Towards animals, much painful treatment are day-to-day practices that people do to animals for food, clothing, and decorative items. Becoming aware of what is done to animals is the right thing to do. In general, people have less control over the tragedies that happen to people. Nonetheless, awareness of wrongful treatment of people should bring action from people who can affect change.

Sadness is sadness, no matter the cause. Releasing sadness can be done—with patience, with kindness, and with readiness.

I love ME!

Post 75-learning to love I

Post 76-loving oneself

In the book The Gift of Intuitive, Dedicated Comfort, it says:

“…Finding ways to bring joy, love, movement, challenge, acceptance, patience, warmth, and balance should be pursued.”

These goals lead to loving oneself, purposeful living, and calm. These goals are doable. These goals should enable satisfaction in one’s life. Not to a simple or easy life—that is not the goal. The goal is to have the ability to weather whatever comes and to live with vitality and determination.

Each person determines the way to these goals. There are no exact directions for everyone. In general, smiling often is better than frowning and lifts one’s spirits. Remember to smile.

Moving can bring change—not moving to a new location—no! moving one’s body! Often, especially in dance or out in nature. A treadmill is fine, but a walk in nature is better. Moving in a group is very invigorating—in a dance class or exercise group or on a hike or in the water. Group dynamics can increase the mood benefits. But a group is not required to move. Taking computer breaks OFTEN and stretching—very important! Encouraging others to move –important too. In the book, Pond a Connected Existence, the human need for movement is number 5! Remember to move.

Balance can seem like an illusive goal, but it is not if you are open to balancing ALL the components of health—physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Being open is better than being determined to oppose. So much occurs that is not in our realm of understanding; why expect to understand everything? Balance through eating healthfully, working through negative emotions, challenging the intellect, and opening to spiritual possibilities.

And yes—being patient. Not an easy thing to be in our instant gratification society. Working towards a goal takes time, dedication, perseverance, and time. And more time. And more perseverance and time. And being prepared.

“Being prepared means readying for whatever—whatever happens, whatever doesn’t happen, whatever presents itself for opportunity or for disaster.” from Oneself—Living (soon to be published).

Self-love is possible!

Loving oneself—it can be done

Post 76-loving oneself

Loving oneself can occur and does occur when the awareness of its importance is brought to light. In the book, Pond a Connected Existence, the ten most important things that the average human requires are listed in the order of their importance. Self-love is number 8!

Self-love is not simple to achieve, especially for those who grow up in societies that do not value its importance. Nonetheless, people must strive to love themselves so that they can move on and love others.

What is self-love? It is described in the book Oneself-Living (soon to be published):

“Self-love, like [deep love of others], has six requirements: #1 obligation #2 appreciation #3 attraction #4 devotion. #5 flow #6 admiration

1  obligation to assist, support, and be available physically
2  appreciation of assistance, support, and character
3  attraction to inner and outer
4  held in close consideration at all times (devotion)
5  openness to surprise, acknowledgment of mortality, accommodation of cultures, and thoughtfulness
6  admiration for kindnesses, assistance, and acceptances done for others and for self”

The requirements of self-love

  1. obligation to assist, support, and be available physically: assist and support oneself when feeling unable to achieve goals or daily tasks and care for one’s physicality so that the body can be able to provide support for one’s tasks and goals.
  2. appreciation of assistance, support, and character: be able to see one’s assistance and support for oneself and be able to appreciate the variation of character traits (and not focus on negative traits).
  3. attraction to inner and outer: feel a sense of pull towards one’s physical appearance and one’s character traits. Especially for women, this requirement is important when the advertising and entertainment industries push unrealistic beauty indexes.
  4. held in close consideration at all times (devotion): remember to include one’s own needs when living life (not put other people’s needs first). Even a mother has to put her needs above her baby’s needs if she is going to tend to the baby properly. This requirement is not easy because it can be confused with being selfish, which it is not.
  5. openness to surprise, acknowledgment of mortality, accommodation of cultures, and thoughtfulness: all of these requirements are connected because they all require consideration of life’s realities.
  6. admiration for kindnesses, assistance, and acceptances done for others and for self: notice what one does for others (being kind, providing assistance, giving way when others’ needs require it) and applaud oneself for caring for personal needs and dreams.

Self-love is the basis for balanced living. Without it, one is always askew no matter how well one eats or exercises or volunteers.

“When we …are able to heal ourselves then only are we ready to help others.” by Ann Wigmore in the Naturama living textbook.

Learning to love I

Post 75-learning to love I

A continuation from yesterday’s post…

Not liking ourselves leads to not liking others

The work begins within!

When we are unkind to ourselves, we inhibit our ability to relate to others in a balanced and caring way. Their idiosyncrasies annoy us rather than entertain us. We relate to them in harshness and in impatience. When we are kind to ourselves, we expand our caring for ourselves and for others.

How to be kinder to ourselves

  1. Feel inside your body—think about its wondrous functioning (even if you are sick) and be appreciative towards the internal grandeur of your body.
  2. Think about a person you admire, and imagine that his or her admired qualities are in you too.
  3. Write a short wish for yourself that includes a wish for admiration. For example, write “I desire and wish for myself to admire myself” (You are not being graded on your writing composition.) Keep this written wish in a place that is private and accessible, for instance, on a shelf by your bed.
  4. Look at each finger on each hand and notice its shape and agility (if any of the fingers hurt or are arthritic, stroke the finger and send it compassion).
  5. Listen to music that invigorates you and think of yourself as being a joyous person.
  6. Touch your face and slowly breathe, while your feet are rocking back and forth on the ground. You can do this step while standing or sitting.
  7. Look at a reminder from your childhood (a picture or a knick knack) and then look at your favorite piece of clothing or a memento.

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