A Balanced Approach to Wellness!

Posts tagged ‘true love’

Four things that people get wrong

heart-angry

Common sense leads us to build our lives in generally wise ways. Sometimes though, our common sense gets derailed when we listen to others who cause us to question our wisdom. Many of these influencing people have a vested interest in us following their “advice”, because doing so enriches them or increases their influence. We can’t know everything so we do need to rely on information from others, but we have to be aware of the interests of the people who provide the information. Also, wisdom from the past that was once useful doesn’t always translate into wisdom for the present.

Here are four things we get wrong because of the various forces that cause us to think unrealistically.

1. Thinking that love is fairytale possible

People are meant to build deep relationships, but the relationships are not fairytale fantasies.  Relationships require gentle nurturing. They require realistic expectations and perceptions.

Storytellers and movie producers create fantasies of fairytale love, but the reality is different.  Many industries push people to teach their children that fantasy is possible, but reality is different and parents unintentionally raise their children to be disappointed and unhappy.

Life is lived in a more balanced way when love is understood to be a sense of obligation, a show of appreciation, an attraction to the inner character as well as to the outer appearance, a commitment of constant consideration, an openness to coexistence, and an unfailing commitment to kindness and acceptance.

“LOVE that is fantasy is love that is too unreal. This type of love is misunderstood and unattainable. This type of love is difficult and tiring. Falling in love is real as is feeling strong love for another person; however, “true love” is fabrication. Investing in the myth of a perfect love match is non-sustaining. Non-sustaining in terms of health and self-esteem and perception. Attaching to fabled storytelling is abusive, self-abuse.”

Fairytale love is explored, together with realistic loving relationships and unrequited love in the book Oneself–Living.

2. Thinking that people have a right to eat as much meat as they want

Many meat advocates push the consumption of meat products at one or more meals a day. They convince others that the meat is required to maintain strength and vitality.

The ease at which meat is obtained has led to a devaluation of its role in our diets. It has become underappreciated and disrespected. Meat consumption has become inhumane.

Meat is food that can be nourishing and satisfying.  Meat is meant to be eaten in moderation and with appreciation. Read more about meat consumption in these blog posts: Devouring delicious meat, Too much meat, and To eat farmed salmon or not?

3. Thinking that a religion is superior to others

“Religion is an accessway for connecting to God; it is not the destination. Elevating the religion, rather than the divine connection, disconnects people from God. Religions are approaches, they are not possessions to be coveted or aggrandized. ”

Throughout the wisdom writings I have received, the message has been clear:

“NO GROUP IS CLOSER TO SPIRIT THAN ANY OTHER.
NO GROUP SPEAKS FOR SPIRIT.
SPIRIT IS FOR ALL
= EQUALLY=
SPIRIT IS ALL-COME-TO-ME-JUSTLY!
Come justly without harm
To any others”

The quotes are from the books Descending into War, Descending into Contempt and Faith–A Wisdom Poem Sharing Spiritual Connection.

4. Thinking that toddlers want to sit in a forward-facing stroller/pushchair

Compared to the other misunderstood subjects, this one might seem small, but it impacts development of children. Most stroller/pushchair manufacturers tout the benefits of those that are forward facing (the child and parent are both facing forward). Common sense dictates that the toddler should face the beloved parent, but the parents are swayed by the marketing of the companies.

The direction that is best for children is explained in the blog post Strollers–which direction is best for the children.

 

Note: This information has been spiritually received.

Matters of the heart

Hearts-anniversary

Love can be complicated, especially when our expectations are too high or are unrealistic.

Spirit has weighed in on love and relationships. Here are spiritual insights about love that appear in the book Oneself-Living—Possibilities, Quiet Treasures, Ways.

True-love fantasy

“Love that is fantasy is love that is too unreal. This type of love is misunderstood and unattainable. This type of love is difficult and tiring. Falling in love is real as is feeling strong love for another person; however, “true love” is fabrication. Investing in the myth of a perfect love match is non-sustaining. Non-sustaining in terms of health and self-esteem and perception. Attaching to fabled storytelling is abusive, self-abuse.”

Unrequited love

“Love that is one-directional is love that is wasted. This type of love is sad and lonely. This type of love is wasted and futile. Love, such as “love” of a celebrity or of a person who is unavailable, is effort expended for naught. Investing in a non-reciprocal un-relationship is simply non-sustaining. Non-sustaining in terms of health and self-esteem. Lowering one’s value—value of one’s time and one’s being—is simply abusive, self-abuse.”

Realistic love

“Love is labyrinthian, multifaceted, and demanding—demanding in attention, demanding in compassion. Demanding in a good way, that is, love requires consideration of a person’s essence and foibles. Essence: a person’s character, habits, and presentation.  Foibles: minor shortcomings, but not abusive behavior towards self and others. Multi-faceted refers to the various moods of love—desire, yearning, simmer, and satisfaction. Labyrinthian because love can be hard to negotiate, discover, and unravel.

Love is not unkind words or impatience; those manifestations come from places of not-love. Ill-tempered treatment of so-called loved ones is not-love. Ridicule, sarcastic retorts, and condescension come from places of not-love. not-love is also multifaceted, but its surfaces are tarnished by traumas from the past, unrealistic expectations, or tiredness.

Feelings of so-so can develop into feelings of love when want is in place. Wanting to succeed, wanting to give, wanting to overlook. Feelings of aversion can develop into feelings of love when the view is adjusted. Seeing from a different angle, seeing with fresh eyes, seeing in a new light.

Feelings of humiliation or degradation generally do not develop into feelings of love, ever. People can overcome humiliating treatment, but their love is tarnished and is not really love. More like crippled-love. It is not not-love, but love that is tentative and wary.

Learning to love begins at a very young age. Babies develop love for their caregivers; the caregivers often develop love for the baby in their care. Young children love their caregivers and animals and their life if they are allowed to develop freely. Societal morés and reality impinge on their feelings of joyful love. Love of peers develops through interaction with people who present similar or non-out-of-sync behavior and outlook. Love of a single, special person can come from much time spent together or from awareness of an inexplicable bond or from a combination of these two components…”

“Love is laborious, exciting, and maddening like a labyrinth; multifaceted like a fashioned gem, and exacting like a demanding god. Love can cause people to commit terrible acts or wondrous feats of altruism. Love leads to coupling, caring for ailing family members, and celebrations. Love can lead to laughter, worry, and expectations. Ever changing, ever rearranging.

People can create loving relationships when they are motivated. A relationship that is mutually fulfilling results in the possibility of love…”

Oneself-Living—Possibilities, Quiet Treasures, Ways can be purchased at amazon.com: http://a.co/jcZb1ac

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