A Balanced Approach to Wellness

Post 78-Sadness

Sometimes terrible things happen to people. Sometimes young people have serious illnesses that disfigure or damage them. Or weaken them so they die too young. Sometimes natural disasters befall people and they are left homeless, hurt, or confused.  Or orphaned. Sometimes people hurt other people—intentionally or not—so that trauma or death results. Sometimes people damage themselves—intentionally or not.

In all these cases, the survivors and caregivers are required to continue on and live. Not an easy task. Caregivers suffer daily, both physically and emotionally. Survivors suffer too, although differently and in varying degrees of despair, guilt, and shock. Both are in need of support, kindness, and openness to their pain. In other words, a survivor or caregiver needs a quiet  audience (meaning the listeners are quiet) for them to bare their sadness. If the audience is not quiet, the sadness might not dissipate. Quiet and constancy are the qualities of people who are helpful to those who need to give way to the effects of their sadness.

When sadness hits because of the natural order of life (a parent dies in old age), the survivors also require the same quiet and constancy. Sadness is sadness no matter the cause, although extra understanding should be given to the survivors of tragedies.

The person who has suffered the trauma (but not death) needs even more constancy and support. This person must eventually release the hold of the trauma. As described in the book Oneself-Living (soon to be released):

“Negative remembrances require determination and desire to purge them. Negative remembrances that are traumatic are often too difficult to release with-out continuous and relegate-to-a-less-prominent-place focus. Although traumatic events damage the connection to self and the sense of security, a person can remove the vicious side of a trauma so that a normal life can be led. Leading a normal life means focusing on the tasks that are done each day to sustain life: intake of food and water, sleep, interaction with others, and appreciation of the natural environment. Holding on to the tainted memory(ies), or holding back because of self-manufactured fear, prevents purging of the trauma of the event. The trauma must be released.”

Sometimes, terrible things happen to people. Terrible things also happen to the animals that inhabit the Earth. Terrible things happen. Can something be done? Towards the animals, much can be done. Towards people, less can be done. Towards animals, much painful treatment are day-to-day practices that people do to animals for food, clothing, and decorative items. Becoming aware of what is done to animals is the right thing to do. In general, people have less control over the tragedies that happen to people. Nonetheless, awareness of wrongful treatment of people should bring action from people who can affect change.

Sadness is sadness, no matter the cause. Releasing sadness can be done—with patience, with kindness, and with readiness.

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