A Balanced Approach to Wellness!

Posts tagged ‘failure’

When the urge to fail calls

Sad heart

There are many reasons we sink into failure mode. Sometimes we lose sight of goals and desires. Sometimes we forget the steps required to get somewhere or lose the way completely. Occasionally we make impressive starts but then slack off or quit completely. We even choose to blame people from our distant past for our selecting to fail.

The call to fail can be strong, but the call to succeed can be just as strong when we really want to succeed. To help choose success over failure, here are a few tips:

  • Create reminders of the chosen path. The reminders can be notes placed strategically around the house, alarms set on the phone, regular meetings with supporters or like-minded people, carefully crafted schedules, rewards for reaching major and minor goals, pep talks in the form of quiet reflection or animated soliloquy. Each person chooses the reminders that are personally helpful.
  • Examine health habits. Sleep is important: are you getting enough nighttime sleep? Nutrition is important: are you eating mainly nutritious foods at regular times? Friendships: are you making time for visits with friends? Activity: are you moving your body enough to release energy and avoid stiffness?
  • Distractions are too numerous. Understand the things that are undermining you and take steps to move them out of view or reach.
  • Make sure that the goals and desires are really suitable for who you are. Are they goals you set for yourself or were they set for you by others? The best way to know if a goal or desire is suitable is to understand who you are by taking the time to understand the things that truly appeal to you.

Success or failure can bring happiness or disappointment. Failure that offers a way out of something not wanted can be a positive thing, while failure to attain something truly desired can be devastating. If we know ourselves and know what we need and want, we can work towards them through perseverance and focus.

Note: This information has been spiritually received.

Category:

Focused living

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Self-doubt, the internal killer

self-doubt

Self-doubt: a lack of confidence in one’s abilities, actions, decisions, motives, and character; a feeling of uncertainty about one’s appearance, manner, and performance; a catalyst for internal malfunction.

Self-doubt is the cause of many failures and capitulation. It fuels insecurity and non-effort. Self-doubt leads to inability to try new things or to improve skills. It has rings of effects, as a self-doubt about one thing leads to another as they circle larger and larger inside a person.

Self-doubt comes from early efforts that are mocked by others or from early efforts that cause injury or hurt feelings. It can spring from caregivers who discourage individual expression by a young child or who can’t understand a child who has a personality that doesn’t fit the family.

Internally, self-doubt meddles in the functioning of the body. It meddles with flows, secretions, and electrical impulses. It also slows or quickens processes that should be steady. Self-doubt creates stumbling blocks in life and in internal pathways. Self-doubt is a catalyst for slow erosion in the body.

To lessen the effects of self-doubt requires determination to overcome the stumbling blocks that were placed by others or by oneself. Recognizing one’s own contribution to self-sabotage is a first step, and then finding ways to overcome is next.

The effects of self-doubt can be reversed when the following things are done:

  1. Take the time to understand who you are. What are your likes and what are the things that draw you. Discover the types of views you like. Is it the beach or the hills, the desert or the flowers? Think about your senses. Do you learn visually, through trial and error, or from hearing the words? Think about your preferences in animals, colors, and sounds. In other words, learn who you really are!
  2. Consider goals you once had. Are they still relevant? Are they important to you now? If they are relevant and important, consider how to attain them and then consider actual steps. If you have completed step #1, you will be able to strive for these goals. If the goals are no longer relevant or important, take time to understand the goals that suit who you are now, and consider how to attain them.
  3. Spend time exploring your understanding of yourself, the understanding that has come from step #1. If you can build your life so that it includes your likes, the things that draw you, your sensory strengths, and your preferences, you will naturally move away from the self-doubt that was created when you were younger.

Self-doubt is a slow, steady, internal killer. It kills drive, feelings of attachment, and responsible actions. And it slowly, steadily kills the mechanisms that sustain health. Self-doubt is the killer that can be reformed, when the proper actions are taken.

Note: This information has been spiritually received.

Category:

Healing

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Growing up to fail

failure at math

Several readers wrote to tell me that the blog posts “Failure addiction is taught” and “Addiction to failure” explained family members’ difficulties in life. Until they read those posts, they had not been able to understand the inability of their siblings/children to function.

The distressing state of drug addiction (legal and not) to combat anxiety, sleeplessness, and normal coping behaviors, is a reason to look more deeply at failure addiction and its causes. The lack of success in relationships and in achieving goals are additional reasons for looking at the causes of failure addiction.

As stated in “Failure addiction is taught”, children experience uncertainty and dejection when their parents–or other beloved caregivers–are emotionally distant, are consistently absent, and ignore their children’s natural interests. Children are sensitive to the words and actions of their loved ones, so that distancing and disinterest harm their sense of self, which in turn, causes them to doubt their abilities and thwarts their capacity for perseverance. Without perseverance and belief in oneself, a person cannot achieve goals.

Attentive parents can instill tendencies towards failure addiction when they require achievements that don’t suit their child’s abilities and interests, when they push away natural childhood demand for affection (from the parent), and when they purposely ignore their child’s expressions of himself or herself (for example, seeing that the child has a sensitive nature and pretending that the child is unflappable).

These “attentive” parents create people who may “succeed”, but feel unable to cope. Eventually, the inability to cope will affect work, self-perception, and/or appetite. The failure-prone people will struggle throughout their lives with relationships, unless they are able to adjust their self-images.

Failure addiction causes breakdowns, breakups, and breakaways. It is a cause of depression, compulsive behaviors, eating issues, and social withdrawal. Failure addiction indicates deep sadness, and deep sadness is the source of debilitating anger and aggression.

Failure addiction is a heart impediment. It stops the intangible heart from opening to oneself and to others, so that the intangible heart is stunted and enfeebled.

Note: This information has been received from Spirit.

Category:

Well-being

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Failure addiction is taught

failure at math

Addiction to failure is not a natural state. People are born to succeed, but caregivers, society, and natural phenomenon (like natural disasters) can redirect towards failure. Failure can be in one or two areas or can become a defining personality trait.

For example, parents who are emotionally distant to their child, are consistently absent from the child’s life, and ignore the child’s natural interests, can push the child towards feelings of uncertainty about choices and towards dejection. The dejection and uncertainty can then translate into actions that do not suit the child’s natural talents, which can then lead to feelings of failure. This type of failure addiction can affect all areas of a person’s life and can continue into adulthood if the behavior is not questioned and addressed.

Failure addiction that is localized in one or two areas can occur when people are unaware of their natural abilities, their internal pace (that is, the natural speed of a person), their seasonal preferences, and their soulfully felt interests. Localized failure addiction is also influenced by incorrect interpretations of natural floundering when attempting new tasks or by improper responses to a minor mistake that get multiplied into a general opinion of failure.

Failure addiction can be taught by coworkers who constantly criticize and sabotage. It can be taught by teachers who shame and belittle. It can be taught by family members who are demeaning. And it can be taught by a society that rejects and ostracizes members for their behaviors or differences.

Failure addiction is a strain on society, and it is a cause for suicide and illness.

See Addiction to failure

Note: In the spiritual realm, the perpetrators (those who teach failure addiction) are gently guided towards better behavior in future incarnations.

 

Category:

Perfection--not!

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Addiction to failure

heart-drugged

This post has taken me by surprise, but Spirit assures me that there is a failure addiction. Unlike addictions to heroin or gambling, failure addiction requires little investment in paraphernalia or cash. Failure addiction requires these three mindsets: determination to not succeed, creation of stumbling blocks, and inability to see opportunities.

Many people suffer from failure addiction; however, it is often subtle and sometimes even socially acceptable so that the sufferers feel justified in their inabilities to succeed. It often stems from childhood traumas that teach children to distance themselves from their internal dialogues and from their inherent abilities. The less people know themselves, the easier to set themselves up for failure.

Much more can be said about the causes of failure addiction, but Spirit wants me to turn to solutions. So here they are:

  1. A person cannot fail when he or she knows personal truths. Turning inwards, and focusing on true passions and abilities, leads to movement away from procrastination and sabotage. This step can take time, but is crucial in moving past cemented habits of failure.
  2. Connecting to the natural world opens a failure addict to external wonderment. Being outside in nature removes focus on internal suffering. Entering natural water sources or green surroundings lifts thoughts of self-misery, often completely but sometimes temporarily. These moments can counter negativity when the pursuit of connection with nature is done with awareness of the purpose to distance from failure expectations.
  3. Connecting to music that is soothing or melodic can aid the move from failure addiction. Choosing music that uplifts helps the mind move towards positivity.

Failure addiction can affect many areas of life, or just one or two. It can be temporary or long lasting. It can also be the beginning of other addictions.

Failure addiction is worth fixing.

See Failure addiction is taught

Note: Spirit says we should really get to know our soulful gifts and talents. The more we know them, the more we will want to succeed!

Category:

Well-being

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