A Balanced Approach to Wellness!

Posts tagged ‘parenting’

Growing up to fail

failure at math

Several readers wrote to tell me that the blog posts “Failure addiction is taught” and “Addiction to failure” explained family members’ difficulties in life. Until they read those posts, they had not been able to understand the inability of their siblings/children to function.

The distressing state of drug addiction (legal and not) to combat anxiety, sleeplessness, and normal coping behaviors, is a reason to look more deeply at failure addiction and its causes. The lack of success in relationships and in achieving goals are additional reasons for looking at the causes of failure addiction.

As stated in “Failure addiction is taught”, children experience uncertainty and dejection when their parents–or other beloved caregivers–are emotionally distant, are consistently absent, and ignore their children’s natural interests. Children are sensitive to the words and actions of their loved ones, so that distancing and disinterest harm their sense of self, which in turn, causes them to doubt their abilities and thwarts their capacity for perseverance. Without perseverance and belief in oneself, a person cannot achieve goals.

Attentive parents can instill tendencies towards failure addiction when they require achievements that don’t suit their child’s abilities and interests, when they push away natural childhood demand for affection (from the parent), and when they purposely ignore their child’s expressions of himself or herself (for example, seeing that the child has a sensitive nature and pretending that the child is unflappable).

These “attentive” parents create people who may “succeed”, but feel unable to cope. Eventually, the inability to cope will affect work, self-perception, and/or appetite. The failure-prone people will struggle throughout their lives with relationships, unless they are able to adjust their self-images.

Failure addiction causes breakdowns, breakups, and breakaways. It is a cause of depression, compulsive behaviors, eating issues, and social withdrawal. Failure addiction indicates deep sadness, and deep sadness is the source of debilitating anger and aggression.

Failure addiction is a heart impediment. It stops the intangible heart from opening to oneself and to others, so that the intangible heart is stunted and enfeebled.

Note: This information has been received from Spirit.

Children’s most important need


Children need love. Lots of it! They don’t need distractions. They need loving attention! They don’t need lots of toys. They need lots of hugs! They don’t need stern warnings. They need kind guidance. They don’t need fighting among family members. They need patience.

Children need loving care. And they need to feel loved.

Note: Spirit says that children are easily damaged. They carry the damage throughout their lives.

Unintentional child abuse through sugar

sweets for children

My childhood contained many spoonfuls of sugar. It started off with sweetened formula. There were doughnuts and ice cream, sugar cubes and sodas. Lollipops and candy canes were gifts at doctor appointments and my parents’ business friends’ offices. Halloween provided weeks of sugary treats. The other holidays had their special sweet treats and customary sweet dishes. My family’s snack drawer was full of snack cakes, cookies, and sno balls. At school, lunches included a sweet treat and the food provided was often sweetened. For breakfast, I ate sweetened cereals, sweetened oatmeal, and instant breakfast drinks.  Family trips to the local ice cream parlors and baseball games led to sweet celebrations galore.  Iced tea was always sweetened as were the fresh strawberries. Sunday morning pancakes smothered with imitation maple syrup were the weekly food highlight. Crackers, canned savory foods, spreads, and fast foods were sweetened as well. My diet was sweet foods with occasional breaks for the unsweetened things. I think that my diet was typical of children growing up in the 60s and 70s in the United States. All that sweetness influenced my health, my eating habits, and my thinking.


This blog post is written to parents and grandparents to make them aware that their choices to sweeten the lives of their children and grandchildren delivers misery instead of the intended happiness. Sweetening a child’s life is love misguided.

Note: This blog post is not my opinion although I do agree with it. The wisdom presented here is straight from Spirit.

Parents and grandparents,

“Most of our diet is meant to be non-sweet. The sweet part should be about 8%, and of that 8%, all should be from natural sources—that is how our bodies are designed. .” …from the post “Sweeteners: The Facts

More than 8% sweetness leads to:

  • changed appetite (wanting foods for their sweetness rather than for their satisfaction of hunger)
  • emotional turmoil
  • malfunctioning of the processes that handle sweetness
  • reduced resilience of body parts (for example, teeth)
  • illness
  • compromised attention capabilities
  • over-desire for sweetness
  • reduced muscle activity
  • feelings of negativity towards self

from the post “The Facts: Living in a World of Sweetened Sustenance

Through sweets, well-meaning parents feed their children emotional turmoil and compromised attention capabilities. These changes to natural temperament and attentiveness cause problems with peers and in school.

Through sweets, well-intentioned parents offer their children reduced resilience of body parts as rewards for good behavior and grades. Even parents who know the facts about sweetness succumb to societal pressure to provide their children with changed appetite and over-desire for sweetness. Combating the pervasiveness of sweetness in society is not easy.

Rewarding children using sweets that contribute to feelings of negativity towards themselves is building people who are unsure of themselves. Rewarding children with causers of malfunctioning of the processes that handle sweetness is mistaken gifting.

Sweets that are natural, such as fruit and pure maple syrup, are building unless they exceed the 8% limit. Sweets that are destructive, such as sugar and corn syrup, cause disruptions in functioning and in future functioning.

Going against the typical way of pushing sweets onto children is not easy. Defying the advertisers and makers of sweet things is work. Understanding what you are doing each time you give your child a soda or a candy bar or a sweetened cereal, might help you change your outlook on how you stock your house and how you supply nutrition to the children you love with all your heart.

Screen time for children

Post 80-Attention

How much time is unharmful for children? Which age is less harmful for a child to play on a smartphone? Which age is the most damaging to use a smartphone? Is a computer screen better than a smartphone screen? Do smartphones create less intelligent people? These questions are the ones that Spirit wants to address.

How much time is unharmful for children?

This question assumes harm. Smart device screens are harmful on many levels–socially, developmentally, and emotionally. The answer to the question is zero (0). More than zero, the harm begins, because the draw of the screen is too strong.

Which age is less harmful for a child to play on a smartphone?

The general answer is that until the age of 17, smart devices are too damaging.

Which age is the most damaging to use a smartphone?

Infants do not belong with smartphones and they should not hold them. Toddlers lose their sense of curiosity about the world if they play too much on a smart device. Young children are damaged by screen time when it is the “toy” given to keep them occupied. Young teens are the most susceptible to the social damage caused by unchecked usage of a smartphone.

Is a computer screen better than a smartphone screen?

Too much time on either of these screens is harmful. Smartphone screens are more harmful to posture, although sitting at a computer without taking regular breaks is also harmful to posture. The safety aspects of a smartphone provide security which a computer screen cannot provide.

Do smartphones create less intelligent people?

The answer to this question depends on the age and frequency of usage. The younger the child is when he or she craves the smartphone, the more chance for creative thought to diminish. The intelligence isn’t affected, but the ability to tap into deeper thinking can be impaired. Also, internal dialogue becomes less frequent.

How can parents proceed when smartphones are so pervasive?

  • Resist the temptation to give a smartphone to a child to keep him or her quiet! Keep interesting things with you at all times so you don’t turn to the smartphone.
  • Limit the time you are on your smartphone around your children. The smartphone will have less appeal for the children if you use it infrequently.
  • If you give your child a mobile phone for safety reasons, choose a mobile phone that is just a phone–no games and no internet access.
  • Do not allow smartphones at mealtimes.
  • Collect all smartphones and other smart devices before bedtime and do not allow them to be in the bedrooms. Do not use them in place of alarm clocks.

Here are posts to read about children and screens: Kids and LCD (screen) addiction, Relief from LCD addiction, and Screen! My beloved screen!

Note: Spirit has pushed me to provide this information.

A tip when raising children


This tip is for parents, grandparents, and caregivers. It applies to children being raised in today’s world of constant external stimulation.

  • The most important thing to limit is your time away from the children.

The children require your time and your attention. They require material things less. They require your eyes on them, not you looking at a screen or you placing them in front of a screen.

Children thrive when their loved ones give them security. The security develops through loving touch, words, and facial expressions.

Note: This information has been spiritually received.

ECG sessions with God: strollers—which direction is best for the children

mother with stroller

Last week I was walking in an area where a lot of parents were pushing their children in carriages (prams) and strollers (pushchairs). I noticed that most of the carriages face the parent and most of the strollers face away from the parent (known as forward-facing so that the child and parent are both facing forward).

I was curious about the impact of stroller direction on children and asked God. Here is the information that God gave me:

Children are most content when they see their parent or beloved caregiver. Strangers’ faces and quickly changing scenery overwhelm them, which can affect their sense of security and their stamina. Until the age of two, all children are more secure with themselves when they can see the person pushing the stroller. From the age of two, sensitive children are more secure facing the person pushing the stroller. Forward-facing strollers can be used when children are less sensitive and are open to change.

When choosing a stroller, please consider the spiritual wisdom we have received. It is in the interest of children’s health and balance.

The pursuit of ease leads to …


The pursuit of ease leads to…

  • Parents giving mobile phones and other handheld devices to their young children –> future physical ailments like back pain, muscle atrophy, and neck pain in the children.
  • Lifestyle diseases –> restricting movement, limiting activities, and refusal to try overwhelm the body and open it to unwellness.
  • Settling for undesired results and things.
  • Dissatisfaction –> “too easy” sabotages experiences of learning and pride.
  • Unrealized goals –> the ease outweighs the investment in effort to achieve goals.
  • Mounds of plastic waste that thwart efforts to provide livable urban environments –> the creation of plastics and the disposal of plastics create enormous amounts of pollution and problem-solving that boomerang back to the people.
  • Contributions to the horrible treatment of people –> easy-to-use products require people making the products easy to use, in work conditions that are often appalling.
  • Possible trouble.

Ease seems good, and it can be—when it is not the goal.

Here are three of my favorite ease producers. Suitcases on wheels have made traveling easier and more pleasant. GPS applications have made navigation less daunting. Food processors have led to the wonders of raw chocolate desserts! The list of ease-producing products is long.

Ease—when it becomes the goal—turns poisonous. The pursuit of ease has repercussions that are not always discernible at the time ease is pursued.

The pursuits of empathy, giving, and kindness are always worthwhile!

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