(This post is for Debbie, who is waiting with her beloved mother.)
Life causes us to wait—impatiently sometimes, agonizingly sometimes.
When a loved one is struggling to overcome illness or pain, the waiting is impatient for the sufferer and for the loving observer.
When a loved one is moving towards death, the waiting loosens. The sufferer who is prepared to leave life releases expectations and waits expectantly. The person who loves the sufferer waits with unrealistic expectations for not-finality, with hope for not-finality, even with desire for continuous suffering, just not finality. Sometimes this person is able to understand that the sufferer is ready to move on, and so the waiting lengthens into fluctuating time: fluctuating between time that passes agonizingly so and time that passes hurriedly bringing death on.
Throughout life there are moments of anticipation and of dread, moments of stillness and of movement, and moments of acting and of waiting.
Waiting is eased when it is shared with others who care.