When we think about others, our thinking is colored by what we think about them. In other words, how we feel about them and how we feel they affect us, affects how we assess them. Also, our thinking about ourselves affects our thinking about others.
If someone has been kind to us, our opinion of this person could be kind in turn, or not, depending on if we think we deserved the kindness. If our opinion is that we didn’t deserve the kindness (because we know that we were neglectful, distracted, or undeserving), then we may consider this person to be foolish or lacking in deservedness as well. Our opinion will be negative rather than positive, when positive would have been the balanced thinking. The more we are balanced in our thinking about ourselves, the more we can evaluate others clearly and with objectivity.
How we see ourselves is how we see others. We must aim to be self-kind and self-forgiving and self-loving.
More to come on this topic…