A Balanced Approach to Wellness!

Posts tagged ‘self-help’

Overcoming the attention deficit mindset

Post 86--Overcomng A-DPeople who have been categorized as ADD or ADHD or sort of ADD or ADHD or on the verge of ADD or ADHD or growing into ADD or ADHD are in need of balancing:

  • Balancing of physical needs: proper food and water intake, proper sleep, sufficient movement each day, and relaxation of the eyes
  • Balancing of emotional needs
  • Balancing of intellectual needs
  • Balancing of caregivers’ needs

Handling attention deficit designations can cause much work on the part of caregivers (parents and guardians). Caregivers must be aware that their actions towards the A-D designee influence the A-D exhibition. The more balanced the A-D designee, the less symptoms exhibited.

Ways to balance A-D-afflicted people

  • Drink a glass of water upon rising each morning.
  • Eat a proper breakfast before school or work (most breakfast cereals, chocolate milk, and quick snacky foods do not count as proper breakfast foods).
  • Plan movement into every day: walking, dancing, biking, swimming, running, jumping, skipping, etc.
  • Take frequent breaks from TV watching, from lengthy computer and mobile device work and play, and from prolonged viewing of oneself in mirrors.
  • Take part in activities that better other people, the environment, and animals.
  • Take part in housecleaning, home plant care, outdoor home care, etc. Each person should share in these tasks.
  • Observe nature every day, even if there is only a single plant near one’s home. The more nature is observed, the more developed a person’s observation and focus skills.
  • Challenge oneself through reading, puzzles, riddles, learning to play a musical instrument, learning to enjoy something that originally appeared to be boring.

Overcoming the stigma of being A-D afflicted

People who have been classified or sort-of classified as ADD or ADHD should not lower their expectations of themselves. They should see themselves as normal people who need to attend to their body’s conversation. If the body is signaling that it has been sitting too long, it probably has—time to move. They should aim for living in balance and in harmony with their environment.

Changes for all

Everyone who lives in the hustle-bustle of today’s society needs to add more moments of nature into their lives. More deep breathing, more sleep. Better awareness of food intake (less processed stuff) and of physical activity. More focus on building connections with other people and with the society.

Please share this information with people who question the status quo of dealing with attention deficit issues.

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Attention deficit

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Loving oneself—it can be done

Post 76-loving oneself

Loving oneself can occur and does occur when the awareness of its importance is brought to light. In the book, Pond a Connected Existence, the ten most important things that the average human requires are listed in the order of their importance. Self-love is number 8!

Self-love is not simple to achieve, especially for those who grow up in societies that do not value its importance. Nonetheless, people must strive to love themselves so that they can move on and love others.

What is self-love? It is described in the book Oneself-Living (soon to be published):

“Self-love, like [deep love of others], has six requirements: #1 obligation #2 appreciation #3 attraction #4 devotion. #5 flow #6 admiration

1  obligation to assist, support, and be available physically
2  appreciation of assistance, support, and character
3  attraction to inner and outer
4  held in close consideration at all times (devotion)
5  openness to surprise, acknowledgment of mortality, accommodation of cultures, and thoughtfulness
6  admiration for kindnesses, assistance, and acceptances done for others and for self”

The requirements of self-love

  1. obligation to assist, support, and be available physically: assist and support oneself when feeling unable to achieve goals or daily tasks and care for one’s physicality so that the body can be able to provide support for one’s tasks and goals.
  2. appreciation of assistance, support, and character: be able to see one’s assistance and support for oneself and be able to appreciate the variation of character traits (and not focus on negative traits).
  3. attraction to inner and outer: feel a sense of pull towards one’s physical appearance and one’s character traits. Especially for women, this requirement is important when the advertising and entertainment industries push unrealistic beauty indexes.
  4. held in close consideration at all times (devotion): remember to include one’s own needs when living life (not put other people’s needs first). Even a mother has to put her needs above her baby’s needs if she is going to tend to the baby properly. This requirement is not easy because it can be confused with being selfish, which it is not.
  5. openness to surprise, acknowledgment of mortality, accommodation of cultures, and thoughtfulness: all of these requirements are connected because they all require consideration of life’s realities.
  6. admiration for kindnesses, assistance, and acceptances done for others and for self: notice what one does for others (being kind, providing assistance, giving way when others’ needs require it) and applaud oneself for caring for personal needs and dreams.

Self-love is the basis for balanced living. Without it, one is always askew no matter how well one eats or exercises or volunteers.

“When we …are able to heal ourselves then only are we ready to help others.” by Ann Wigmore in the Naturama living textbook.

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Self-love

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Learning to love I

Post 75-learning to love I

A continuation from yesterday’s post…

Not liking ourselves leads to not liking others

The work begins within!

When we are unkind to ourselves, we inhibit our ability to relate to others in a balanced and caring way. Their idiosyncrasies annoy us rather than entertain us. We relate to them in harshness and in impatience. When we are kind to ourselves, we expand our caring for ourselves and for others.

How to be kinder to ourselves

  1. Feel inside your body—think about its wondrous functioning (even if you are sick) and be appreciative towards the internal grandeur of your body.
  2. Think about a person you admire, and imagine that his or her admired qualities are in you too.
  3. Write a short wish for yourself that includes a wish for admiration. For example, write “I desire and wish for myself to admire myself” (You are not being graded on your writing composition.) Keep this written wish in a place that is private and accessible, for instance, on a shelf by your bed.
  4. Look at each finger on each hand and notice its shape and agility (if any of the fingers hurt or are arthritic, stroke the finger and send it compassion).
  5. Listen to music that invigorates you and think of yourself as being a joyous person.
  6. Touch your face and slowly breathe, while your feet are rocking back and forth on the ground. You can do this step while standing or sitting.
  7. Look at a reminder from your childhood (a picture or a knick knack) and then look at your favorite piece of clothing or a memento.

Category:

Focused living

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Not liking someone

Post 74-not liking

People are generally nice to people they know. Not always, but generally so. The more a person circulates in the world, the less he or she can know the people who cross his or her path, and the less these other people can be liked. Politeness and mannered interactions are not being discussed here. The subject is liking or not liking.

People are nice or not nice to others, depending on upbringing and temperament. When a person is unkind to someone they don’t know, the person usually feels little or no remorse because the other person has little significance. When a person is unkind to a friend or family member, the feelings will be different unless the two people are already at odds. Unkind behavior has an effect when either person cares for the other and is hurt by the unexpected negative behavior. Unkind behavior wounds and scars relationships and people.

Being friendly, but feeling disdain inside, reaches the other person in an intangible sort of way. Same with pretending to care or pretending to feel warmth when warmth does not exist inside. Expecting ourselves to be nice to everyone who crosses our paths is difficult, but mostly when we let ourselves feel unkindness inside towards the others and towards our own selves.

The more we feel nice feelings towards ourselves, the more we can like others. The less satisfied we are with ourselves, the more people we dislike. Even when we travel the world and meet many people, we can experience empathy, interest, and pleasure with these encounters if we are empathetic, interested in, and pleased with ourselves.

Not liking ourselves leads to not liking others

The work begins within!

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Self-love

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Finding one’s way

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Above you see the average life path. Below you see what the desired route should be:

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Full of trials and successes and attempts and experiences.

And if the life is short, the route can be:

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Short, but meaningful.

And what about a long life that is purposeful, balanced, and connected? This life’s picture would be:

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“…Moment after moment after moment. The moments accumulate and produce the picture that is one’s life. Enriching moments are vibrantly colored; valueless moments are dull and unexceptional.

Fullness and not. Life can be full—or not. The picture that is one’s life has dimensions: smooth in places that are enriched, jagged in places that are unbecoming, two-dimensional in places where a choice was not made. The form of the picture can be SO large, one simply has to choose to be giving and engaged and willing to participate in a well-lived life. Life that is experienced through true living lights the way for others.”

…from the chapter “Moment” in Pond a Connected Existence.

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Sustaining activities

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Feelings of non-movement

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Stuck stuck stuck stuck. Feeling stuck. Feeling that movement is hindered. By me? Perhaps. By others? Not sure. Am I at fault or them?

When life-or relationship-or business-or whatever is not moving as quickly as we’d like, we must not despair (and eat too many cookies or use our go-to despair crutch). At these times, we must breathe more deeply, see the sky more frequently, and think about our achievements.

Breathe to this count: breathe in to a count of 6, hold for a count of 4, breathe out to a count of 5. Breathe this way until relaxation starts to set in.

About the sky—really look at it and appreciates its colors and its movement.

And our achievements—think about little achievements and the larger ones, and then do the relaxation breathing again.

Life won’t go the way we want it most of the time, and we have to realize that fact and keep going.

Category:

Focused living

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Sense of touch

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  • Prickly
  • Intensity
  • Weight
  • Solidity
  • Temperature
  • Emotion
  • Wholesomeness (as related to food that is not processed)
  • Weightlessness
  • Vibrations
  • Movement

In my book, Pond a Connected Existence, there is a list of the top ten things that the average human requires. The tenth requirement is stimulation of the senses. Textures provide information about safety and enjoyment. About creativity and destruction. About power and sustenance. About self-awareness and well-being. Safety. Enjoyment. Creativity. Destruction. Power. Sustenance. Self-awareness. Well-being. S . E. C. D. P. S. S. W. Soul ever circling during purposeful sincere spiritual wonder.

Touch is very much a part of living. Touching a loved one is much needed balancing. If a loved one is unavailable, then touching an animal. If an animal is unavailable, then touching a part of nature—a flower, a blade of grass, a stone, etc. Coming into contact with something real, something containing the radiance of spiritual presence.

Touch can bring great joy when it is given kindly. Kindness is necessary for touch to be received wantingly. This requirement applies to women and men, differently but with the same importance.

Touch. With warmth, generosity, feeling, purpose, and kindness. Soulfully.

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Focused living

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