A Balanced Approach to Wellness!

Posts tagged ‘life’

A puzzle of plastic

puzzle

Plastic bottles, plastic bags—obvious things made from plastic. Remote controls, the grips of many cooking pans, polyester clothing— less obvious things made from plastic. Plastic is an integral part of our lives.

Puzzling how we so easily bring plastic into our lives and let the nature go.

What if we were to make nature as integral a part of our lives as we make plastic. What would we add to our homes? Plants, flowers—obvious natural objects. Also baskets of fruit (to be admired and then eaten), cloth dyed with natural colors, useful and decorative items made from wood or stone.

Why do we need spiritual connection?

Post 92-spiritual connection

  • We need spiritual connection because our lives are insignificant without it.
  • We need spiritual connection to help us weather stormy and difficult times.
  • We need spiritual connection when nature overcomes us with its beauty or its fearsomeness.
  • We need spiritual connection as a means to fathom life and death.
  • We need spiritual connection if we are lonely or hurt.
  • We need spiritual connection filling our lives with purpose, elevation, and reason for striving.

Spiritual connection can be found on one’s own or in a group. The main thing to know about spiritual connection is that it is available to all equally. No group has a claim on higher access to spiritual connection.

People who dedicate themselves to spiritual connection at the expense of connecting to the people around them are not living spiritual connection correctly. Spiritual connection is not an excuse for turning one’s back on the needs of other people.

Spiritual connection can be a way to understand the world around if we can see the spirituality in all living things.

Spiritual connection fills the world with beauty, drama, and interactions.

Spiritual connection is the basis for ethical and caring treatment of all living things, including people.

Spiritual connection = guidance and ability to weather the ebbs and flows of life

Post 91-spiritual connection

Spiritual connection is the given; not believing is the fashion. To not believe is in; to believe is kept quiet.

To acknowledge belief in a spiritual presence is hard for many people, even if they believe. Those who don’t believe, don’t believe loudly and look down on those who do. Even those who are vocal about their connection are often uncomfortable when the don’t believers question them.

For those who want to believe, but are unable to connect, here is what the connection can do for you:

  1. Connection to spiritual presence can engender feelings of well-being, “even when the life we have created or received seems incorrect.”
  2. Connection to spiritual presence can support when life is daunting. “A person who has a sense of spiritual presence will weather the ebbs and flows of life more confidently, more peacefully, and less daunted than others who question spiritual presence.
  3. Connection to spiritual presence provides a sense of fitting into something beyond ourselves. “Yes, there is meaning in our lives and in our existence, but humans cannot fathom it. That doesn’t mean that you should stop the search; rather, be satisfied with the answers you find.

“Spiritual support is available to people who want it. The way to bring spiritual support into your life is to imagine having a companion accompanying and sharing life’s path. This sense of sharing and of not being alone can sustain you through difficult life events.”

All quotes are from The Gift of Intuitive, Dedicated Comfort.

At the top of the stairs is Spiritual connection

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Yesterday’s blog was about Spiritual connection. Not sure if that was clear. It was not clear to me until I asked—so I guess I cheated :-). It’s nice to be connected to the Teacher.

From Pond a Connected Existence:

“In The Gift of Intuitive, Dedicated Comfort, steps are provided for connecting with spiritual presence. They are as follows:

‘…observing nature, the actions of babies, the movement of the seasons, the shenanigans of animals, the idiosyncrasies of the opposite sex, and the idiosyncrasies of one’s own sex’.

The passive observation of others and of nature cause analysis, cause consideration of seemingly incongruent and inconsequential subjects, and cause rumination on creation, on the wonder of life, and on how incredible the world’s creatures can be.

Spiritual presence exists in all aspects of nature….”

The list above is the way for people who are doubting to get connected. Doubting is in vogue in our generation, but it is not how people were in the past. When people were more connected to nature, they were simply more spiritual.

If you want to connect and feel you aren’t, start now. To quote again from Pond a Connected Existence:

“Each person has a connection. The awareness of this connection is influenced by societal beliefs and by individual faith and sense of relating to natural elements of life. The awareness is felt in many ways: intuition, gut feelings, sense of security or buttress or admonishment, hearing a voice or a whisper or a sense of a voice, vibrations throughout the body, flashes of knowing or of understanding, through slenderpointed dreams, constant feeling of clear direction, flash of inspiration or clarity, signals of peace, or awareness of future priorities caused by glimpses of Next.”

Wishing you an easier climb up the stairs.

Starting at the bottom of the stairs

Post 88-stairs

Each of us starts out at the bottom of the stairs. It may seem that some people get to skip a few stairs, but that’s an illusion. We all start at the bottom stair and somehow move in a more-or-less upward direction. The movements are quicker for some than others, and some people stop in the middle.

What is at the top of the stairs? Understanding. Satisfaction. Connection. Order. Arrival.

I am delighted to tell you that I now write for Healing.Answers.com

Post 23-concentration

In honor of my new writing venue,  Healing.Answers.com, I am sharing an excerpt from the article “The Importance of Delight”.

“Why is it important to delight in delight?

The more we let ourselves be moved by the joyous moments in life, the more balanced we are. Our bodies and souls require HAPPY for proper functioning. Even when life is difficult and challenging, finding delight in simple pleasures can affect the way in which we handle the challenges and low tides. Finding moments of un-joylessness, un-annoyance, and un-restlessness lead to balance and to meaningful existence.

“The Importance of Delight” is not only the title of this article, it is also a directive from Spiritual Presence about our lives. Life is not meant to be easy, but it is meant to be interesting. The more we find pleasure in the world, the more we can contribute and receive.”

from http://healing.answers.com/emotional-health/the-importance-of-delight

Vitality revisited

Vitality

The feeling of life in one’s body is an extraordinary feeling. Noticing the feeling of being alive, of being awake, of being vital. Amazing! Yet taken for granted and not appreciated. Too many people focus on pain or discomfort or hurt feelings. Those things exist, but they are minor in comparison to the body’s vitality!

Vitality! This word should always be written in color and in bold—and with an exclamation point! So that people will read it with energy and with desire. Desire to feel the strength of the word deep within the core of one’s being.

V-i-t-a-l-i-t-y! Feel its pull and its launch. Living life in a rich sense of being. Living life with gusto and with verve. Living life with emotion—feeling the fullness of each moment as it passes into the past.

When the blues hit or the bones creak, they take the focus and move miraculous existence to second best. Keep in mind that emotional ebbs and physical challenges are just parts of living—but they are not the main elements. They steal attention from the important aspects of life, and people must be vigilant to not become too immersed in the difficult and unhappy moments.  Health is so multi-faceted that its wonder is often overlooked. Appreciating the wonder of health is imperative to living with vitality!

Overcoming the attention deficit mindset

Post 86--Overcomng A-DPeople who have been categorized as ADD or ADHD or sort of ADD or ADHD or on the verge of ADD or ADHD or growing into ADD or ADHD are in need of balancing:

  • Balancing of physical needs: proper food and water intake, proper sleep, sufficient movement each day, and relaxation of the eyes
  • Balancing of emotional needs
  • Balancing of intellectual needs
  • Balancing of caregivers’ needs

Handling attention deficit designations can cause much work on the part of caregivers (parents and guardians). Caregivers must be aware that their actions towards the A-D designee influence the A-D exhibition. The more balanced the A-D designee, the less symptoms exhibited.

Ways to balance A-D-afflicted people

  • Drink a glass of water upon rising each morning.
  • Eat a proper breakfast before school or work (most breakfast cereals, chocolate milk, and quick snacky foods do not count as proper breakfast foods).
  • Plan movement into every day: walking, dancing, biking, swimming, running, jumping, skipping, etc.
  • Take frequent breaks from TV watching, from lengthy computer and mobile device work and play, and from prolonged viewing of oneself in mirrors.
  • Take part in activities that better other people, the environment, and animals.
  • Take part in housecleaning, home plant care, outdoor home care, etc. Each person should share in these tasks.
  • Observe nature every day, even if there is only a single plant near one’s home. The more nature is observed, the more developed a person’s observation and focus skills.
  • Challenge oneself through reading, puzzles, riddles, learning to play a musical instrument, learning to enjoy something that originally appeared to be boring.

Overcoming the stigma of being A-D afflicted

People who have been classified or sort-of classified as ADD or ADHD should not lower their expectations of themselves. They should see themselves as normal people who need to attend to their body’s conversation. If the body is signaling that it has been sitting too long, it probably has—time to move. They should aim for living in balance and in harmony with their environment.

Changes for all

Everyone who lives in the hustle-bustle of today’s society needs to add more moments of nature into their lives. More deep breathing, more sleep. Better awareness of food intake (less processed stuff) and of physical activity. More focus on building connections with other people and with the society.

Please share this information with people who question the status quo of dealing with attention deficit issues.

One more factor in attention deficit creation

Post 85-one more factor

Babies who are born healthy have the ability to observe and learn as they grow. Once they are socialized, their abilities to observe and learn have been set. Not set in stone, set in motion. The type of motion is the determining factor in learning inability. If the motion is too indulgent, pressured or inconsistent, then negative opinions of self and one’s abilities to focus and absorb are formed. If the motion is accepting, engendering of feelings of responsibility and consistent, then abilities are appreciated and worked. In either case, the ability to learn is there, but the perception of it is altered—positively or negatively.

Of the negative forces, indulgence has become a determining manipulator of people’s ability to work diligently, attempt new tasks and manage disagreeable ones, practice, and maintain a supportive attitude. Indulgence does not require wealth; it requires a caregiver who does not accept that sadness, difficulty, and frustration are normal parts of development. Indulgence leads to requiring immediate gratification and/or feelings of lack. When “attention deficit” is suspected, indulgence must be examined. It is reversible!

Of the positive forces, engendering feelings of responsibility is very important. Children must feel that their contributions are needed. Each small task that a child does in his or her home builds confidence and focus. People want to feel necessary and challenged—these are design features!

More to come…Please share this information with people who question the status quo of dealing with attention deficit issues.

External and internal pressures that affect attention maintenance

Post 84-pressures

Attention deficits occur when attention is unfocused, unavailable, and uninterested. Unfocused: too many distractions, too many choices. Unavailable: inadequate nourishment, hydration, sleep, movement, confidence. Uninterested: the subject of focus is irrelevant or too difficult or presented inadequately.

Maintaining attention when distracted, unable to decide, inadequately nourished, lacking in water, sleep deprived, needing to move, low in confident-ness (not knowing one’s gifts), the material or task is not clearly needed, the material or task seems overwhelming, or the material or task requires additional explanation—all these pressures tax the body’s ability to handle concentration.

Above all, expecting to succeed without working at goals, without applying oneself, without failing is expectation folly. Each person has certain gifts (many, many more than they usually think), but not enough to have success at all endeavors. Living in today’s world requires investing time and effort into learning many things that aren’t interesting and aren’t easily internalized. Success comes from diligence, repeated attempts, practice, and attitude that is accepting and uplifting.

More to come…Please share this information with people who question the status quo of dealing with attention deficit issues.

Distractions along the way

Post 82-

Maintaining concentration is made difficult when pressure is felt or goals are not concrete and personally important. When a person is easily distracted (which is most people), small or seemingly important distractions can completely upstage the true goals. On top of that, if a person is a “deficit in attention” labeled person, he or she may accept the easily distractedness as a personality trait rather than work at maintaining concentration.

All people are designed to be distracted; it is a survival technique. People are also designed to concentrate in short segments of time. Prolonged concentration is not to be expected without a price in imbalance in the body. Also, making excuses for lack of ability to concentrate for prolonged periods of time is wasted effort. Of course most people can’t do that; it’s not part of the design.

Rather than label children (or adults) because they can’t sit still or focus on personally unimportant information, parents and caregivers (including teachers) should consider issues such as nutrition, home dynamics, sleep disturbances, lack of sufficient physical movement, interests of the child, intellectual challenges (or lack of), stimulation from too much exposure to technology, lack of stimulation from natural elements (nature, animals, and the seasons), and invisibility (the child feels that he or she is not really seen for who he/she is). All these influences come into play when maintaining concentration is too easily broken.

More to come…Please share this information with people who question the status quo of dealing with attention deficit issues.

Healing attention issues through nature

Post 81-helaing through nature

Mountains
Rolling hills
Roadside scenery
These things
Take for granted
People
People

People,
People
Take for granted
These things:
Roadside scenery
Rolling hills
Mountains

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Applications
Social network games
Internet sensations
These things
Too much focus
From.
Distraction!

 Distraction
From
Too much focus
These things:
Internet sensations
Social network games
Applications

@@@@@@@@@@@

“The influences of nature were once the major influences on people. Some people and cultures run their lives around the cycles of nature, but the number of people who are nature-centric lessens with developments in technology. The ways in which people are affected and driven by nature are many. Being cut off from nature contributes to lowered attentiveness which in turn decreases attention capabilities. The connection to flora and fauna significantly 1) broadens and heightens understanding of cycles and fluctuations; 2) develops appreciative and inquisitive capabilities; and 3) causes people to examine and work with vegetation that aid human life and animals that enhance human existence. When people allowed fluctuations of time, season, and life to govern their lives, they developed more attentive skills.”  from the chapter “What is Attention Capability?” in Oneself—Living (soon to be published).

Without a constant connection to nature, the ability to concentrate for extended periods of time is lessened and unappreciated, the ability to focus is shortened, and the ability to be resourceful is lessened. Not for everyone, but for most.

The lessening and shortening of concentration, focus and resourcefulness have led to wide-scale lack-of-attention problems. Occasionally, the problems have additional contributors such as genetic or hereditary deficits or human-inflicted causes (abuse or improper treatment). Lack-of-attention problems have become big business, and the causes are being overlooked, while the symptoms are being treated or over-treated.

The best way to reverse attention lack-of is to rediscover nature!

  • More walks in green areas!
  • More visits to parks and nature areas!
  • More visits to petting zoos and to farms that allow the animals to be touched!
  • More fruit picking and visits to farmers’ markets!
  • More plants and flowers inside the home and more attention to landscaping outside the home!
  • More observation of roadside scenery, of the sky and of the landscape around us!
  • More visits to water: beaches, lakes, rivers and springs!
  • More visits to botanical gardens and other city gardens!
  • More participation in community gardens and garden clubs!
  • More making of mud pies and castles in the sand!
  • More walking barefoot in the grass!
  • More playing of instruments! (Oops-this hint belongs in another post, but it applies here too 🙂

Attention deficits are societal deficits

Post 80-Attention

So many interventions are being forced on people these days for attention deficit issues. Symptoms are being treated, but not the causes. The next few posts on my blog will deal with the causes of attention deficit. If you find this outlook interesting, please forward the posts to other like-minded people.

We’ll start with a quote from Oneself—Living (soon to be published):

“Modern living requires focus on activities that can be dull, rote, repetitive, and constraining. Modern schools, work places, institutions, and organizations require participation in dull, rote, repetitive, and constraining tasks and situations. People were designed for tasks and situations that are ever-changing. Tasks that demand constant focus and lengthy concentration tax the natural nature of humans. Distractions, tempest, whirl, and hurly-burly—those are the situations people respond to…

People—are—designed—for—doing some of this, doing some of that, moving here, then moving there, short bouts of focus, studied execution of required tasks and chosen pursuits—and then sleep to recharge, repair, and function. People cannot hear and digest information delivered perfunctorily nor handle verbal assault nor accept displays of unimaginative and unmeant praise nor decipher dull and sterilized writing nor participate in uninspired presentations nor stay still for too long nor perform religious requirements without proper guidance and inspiration. Doing these things result in attention distraction, anger or enhanced criticism, dulled emotions and responses, and opposition against more than the cause of the opposition…

The creation of societies that reward unnatural behaviors and occupations and punish normal human behavior punish themselves. People force and repress and mold themselves to function within the constraints of the modern societies. They think they are superior when they manage to overcome their natural inclinations for movement and physical expression. People do manage to adjust to their polygonal existences, but their bodies and spirits bear the brunt of the altered requirements…

Assuming that a person has a deficit because he or she cannot stay still or cannot focus on a dull and uninspiring topic reflects badly on society. There are people born with deficits or who acquire deficits through accident or illness, but perceived deficits of people who are unable to force themselves to live within uncompromising regulations are not deficits—they are expressions of frustration or unreleased energy or laziness or despair.”

Tomorrow’s post: Healing attention issues through nature

Whenever boredom exists

Post 79-boredom

Boredom is a result of feelings of entitlement and sadness. A person who feels that he or she deserves to be entertained or to be treated “royally” does not make effort to create amusements or goals for himself or herself. A person, who for whatever reasons feels sadness and is unable to direct his or her reality (entertainment options or pastimes), may call the situation boredom for a lack of understanding of the true cause.

Whether the cause is entitlement or sadness, the resulting boredom adds to the person’s lack of bodily balance (physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually).

Boredome leads to:

  • Reliant reality (reliance on others for things within one’s own realm)
  • Avoidance of handling the true issues
  • Improper behavior
  • Missed opportunities
  • Blame of others
  • Poor performance

What to do when you feel bored

  1. Examine your current reality for entitlement or sadness issues and address them.
  2. You probably need more movement in your life. Walk, dance, swim, bike, juggle—whatever activity lifts your spirits.
  3. You probably need more purpose in your life. Investigate volunteer opportunities in your area and volunteer.
  4. Strive!

When sadness hits

Post 78-Sadness

Sometimes terrible things happen to people. Sometimes young people have serious illnesses that disfigure or damage them. Or weaken them so they die too young. Sometimes natural disasters befall people and they are left homeless, hurt, or confused.  Or orphaned. Sometimes people hurt other people—intentionally or not—so that trauma or death results. Sometimes people damage themselves—intentionally or not.

In all these cases, the survivors and caregivers are required to continue on and live. Not an easy task. Caregivers suffer daily, both physically and emotionally. Survivors suffer too, although differently and in varying degrees of despair, guilt, and shock. Both are in need of support, kindness, and openness to their pain. In other words, a survivor or caregiver needs a quiet  audience (meaning the listeners are quiet) for them to bare their sadness. If the audience is not quiet, the sadness might not dissipate. Quiet and constancy are the qualities of people who are helpful to those who need to give way to the effects of their sadness.

When sadness hits because of the natural order of life (a parent dies in old age), the survivors also require the same quiet and constancy. Sadness is sadness no matter the cause, although extra understanding should be given to the survivors of tragedies.

The person who has suffered the trauma (but not death) needs even more constancy and support. This person must eventually release the hold of the trauma. As described in the book Oneself-Living (soon to be released):

“Negative remembrances require determination and desire to purge them. Negative remembrances that are traumatic are often too difficult to release with-out continuous and relegate-to-a-less-prominent-place focus. Although traumatic events damage the connection to self and the sense of security, a person can remove the vicious side of a trauma so that a normal life can be led. Leading a normal life means focusing on the tasks that are done each day to sustain life: intake of food and water, sleep, interaction with others, and appreciation of the natural environment. Holding on to the tainted memory(ies), or holding back because of self-manufactured fear, prevents purging of the trauma of the event. The trauma must be released.”

Sometimes, terrible things happen to people. Terrible things also happen to the animals that inhabit the Earth. Terrible things happen. Can something be done? Towards the animals, much can be done. Towards people, less can be done. Towards animals, much painful treatment are day-to-day practices that people do to animals for food, clothing, and decorative items. Becoming aware of what is done to animals is the right thing to do. In general, people have less control over the tragedies that happen to people. Nonetheless, awareness of wrongful treatment of people should bring action from people who can affect change.

Sadness is sadness, no matter the cause. Releasing sadness can be done—with patience, with kindness, and with readiness.

I love ME!

Post 75-learning to love I

Post 76-loving oneself

In the book The Gift of Intuitive, Dedicated Comfort, it says:

“…Finding ways to bring joy, love, movement, challenge, acceptance, patience, warmth, and balance should be pursued.”

These goals lead to loving oneself, purposeful living, and calm. These goals are doable. These goals should enable satisfaction in one’s life. Not to a simple or easy life—that is not the goal. The goal is to have the ability to weather whatever comes and to live with vitality and determination.

Each person determines the way to these goals. There are no exact directions for everyone. In general, smiling often is better than frowning and lifts one’s spirits. Remember to smile.

Moving can bring change—not moving to a new location—no! moving one’s body! Often, especially in dance or out in nature. A treadmill is fine, but a walk in nature is better. Moving in a group is very invigorating—in a dance class or exercise group or on a hike or in the water. Group dynamics can increase the mood benefits. But a group is not required to move. Taking computer breaks OFTEN and stretching—very important! Encouraging others to move –important too. In the book, Pond a Connected Existence, the human need for movement is number 5! Remember to move.

Balance can seem like an illusive goal, but it is not if you are open to balancing ALL the components of health—physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Being open is better than being determined to oppose. So much occurs that is not in our realm of understanding; why expect to understand everything? Balance through eating healthfully, working through negative emotions, challenging the intellect, and opening to spiritual possibilities.

And yes—being patient. Not an easy thing to be in our instant gratification society. Working towards a goal takes time, dedication, perseverance, and time. And more time. And more perseverance and time. And being prepared.

“Being prepared means readying for whatever—whatever happens, whatever doesn’t happen, whatever presents itself for opportunity or for disaster.” from Oneself—Living (soon to be published).

Self-love is possible!

Loving oneself—it can be done

Post 76-loving oneself

Loving oneself can occur and does occur when the awareness of its importance is brought to light. In the book, Pond a Connected Existence, the ten most important things that the average human requires are listed in the order of their importance. Self-love is number 8!

Self-love is not simple to achieve, especially for those who grow up in societies that do not value its importance. Nonetheless, people must strive to love themselves so that they can move on and love others.

What is self-love? It is described in the book Oneself-Living (soon to be published):

“Self-love, like [deep love of others], has six requirements: #1 obligation #2 appreciation #3 attraction #4 devotion. #5 flow #6 admiration

1  obligation to assist, support, and be available physically
2  appreciation of assistance, support, and character
3  attraction to inner and outer
4  held in close consideration at all times (devotion)
5  openness to surprise, acknowledgment of mortality, accommodation of cultures, and thoughtfulness
6  admiration for kindnesses, assistance, and acceptances done for others and for self”

The requirements of self-love

  1. obligation to assist, support, and be available physically: assist and support oneself when feeling unable to achieve goals or daily tasks and care for one’s physicality so that the body can be able to provide support for one’s tasks and goals.
  2. appreciation of assistance, support, and character: be able to see one’s assistance and support for oneself and be able to appreciate the variation of character traits (and not focus on negative traits).
  3. attraction to inner and outer: feel a sense of pull towards one’s physical appearance and one’s character traits. Especially for women, this requirement is important when the advertising and entertainment industries push unrealistic beauty indexes.
  4. held in close consideration at all times (devotion): remember to include one’s own needs when living life (not put other people’s needs first). Even a mother has to put her needs above her baby’s needs if she is going to tend to the baby properly. This requirement is not easy because it can be confused with being selfish, which it is not.
  5. openness to surprise, acknowledgment of mortality, accommodation of cultures, and thoughtfulness: all of these requirements are connected because they all require consideration of life’s realities.
  6. admiration for kindnesses, assistance, and acceptances done for others and for self: notice what one does for others (being kind, providing assistance, giving way when others’ needs require it) and applaud oneself for caring for personal needs and dreams.

Self-love is the basis for balanced living. Without it, one is always askew no matter how well one eats or exercises or volunteers.

“When we …are able to heal ourselves then only are we ready to help others.” by Ann Wigmore in the Naturama living textbook.

Learning to love I

Post 75-learning to love I

A continuation from yesterday’s post…

Not liking ourselves leads to not liking others

The work begins within!

When we are unkind to ourselves, we inhibit our ability to relate to others in a balanced and caring way. Their idiosyncrasies annoy us rather than entertain us. We relate to them in harshness and in impatience. When we are kind to ourselves, we expand our caring for ourselves and for others.

How to be kinder to ourselves

  1. Feel inside your body—think about its wondrous functioning (even if you are sick) and be appreciative towards the internal grandeur of your body.
  2. Think about a person you admire, and imagine that his or her admired qualities are in you too.
  3. Write a short wish for yourself that includes a wish for admiration. For example, write “I desire and wish for myself to admire myself” (You are not being graded on your writing composition.) Keep this written wish in a place that is private and accessible, for instance, on a shelf by your bed.
  4. Look at each finger on each hand and notice its shape and agility (if any of the fingers hurt or are arthritic, stroke the finger and send it compassion).
  5. Listen to music that invigorates you and think of yourself as being a joyous person.
  6. Touch your face and slowly breathe, while your feet are rocking back and forth on the ground. You can do this step while standing or sitting.
  7. Look at a reminder from your childhood (a picture or a knick knack) and then look at your favorite piece of clothing or a memento.

Not liking someone

Post 74-not liking

People are generally nice to people they know. Not always, but generally so. The more a person circulates in the world, the less he or she can know the people who cross his or her path, and the less these other people can be liked. Politeness and mannered interactions are not being discussed here. The subject is liking or not liking.

People are nice or not nice to others, depending on upbringing and temperament. When a person is unkind to someone they don’t know, the person usually feels little or no remorse because the other person has little significance. When a person is unkind to a friend or family member, the feelings will be different unless the two people are already at odds. Unkind behavior has an effect when either person cares for the other and is hurt by the unexpected negative behavior. Unkind behavior wounds and scars relationships and people.

Being friendly, but feeling disdain inside, reaches the other person in an intangible sort of way. Same with pretending to care or pretending to feel warmth when warmth does not exist inside. Expecting ourselves to be nice to everyone who crosses our paths is difficult, but mostly when we let ourselves feel unkindness inside towards the others and towards our own selves.

The more we feel nice feelings towards ourselves, the more we can like others. The less satisfied we are with ourselves, the more people we dislike. Even when we travel the world and meet many people, we can experience empathy, interest, and pleasure with these encounters if we are empathetic, interested in, and pleased with ourselves.

Not liking ourselves leads to not liking others

The work begins within!

Another book published!

Cover for Pond a Connected ExistenceMy second book, Pond a Connected Existence, is published on amazon.com! In honor of wisdom presented in the book, here are a few quotes:

From the chapter “Behavior & Release”:

“…Sleep is an integral portion of the composition that is human life. Sleep and life intertwine. Life cannot be sustained without sleep. A healthy life requires healthy sleep. Too little sleep can cause accidents, illness, and shrinkage. Sleep that is sufficient leads to expansion, good health, less whining, productivity, and a more positive outlook. Some people view sleep as a nuisance; some people view it as a disturbance. Sleep can be a dreaded event when people see it as a time for tossing and turning or disturbing dreams or insomniatic existence…. Each person should understand his or her sleep requirements and be mindful to fulfill them.”

From the chapter “Determining Activity Value”:

“…People fill their limited time with unimportant and un-elevating wispy-fluff. They don’t realize the effects of empty and valueless time wasters. They think their choices have value, interesting dimensions, and resulting effects. Most often their choices have deficiency, narrow borders, and insignificant effects.

Wispy-fluff. Vanity of vanities. Empty undertakings.

Truly there are ways to live, ways to choose, ways to show love, ways to show affection, ways to transmit rules and requirements, and ways to interact with the environment. One simply has to decide to live in a sustaining and non-damaging manner. The choice is available to all.”

From the chapter  “Intrigue”:

“…People like and respond to distractions, rumors, and intrigue. They respond to knowing that others have it worse, that others need help, that others are suffering. They are comforted when others suffer as they do or at least have felt the suffering. But should others have it better or easier or with less struggle, the emotions change. Comfort turns to envy; wishes for well-being (for the other) turn into wishes for struggle. The more the inequality, the more discontent and jealousy and desire for others’ failure exist in the air. Permeating the atmosphere at social events, at work, at school. Seeping into conversations and into dreams. Disturbing sleep and disturbing digestion. Causing arguments or disgruntlement or dissatisfaction.….

… Refraining from participation in rumor-spreading and information-passing is sustaining. Not an easy thing to do; therefore, its value is high. To be balanced is to know how much to say, how much to keep back, and how much to say kindly”